Bi girl asking advice...I guess...

Okay so... I'm bi. Yeah, I know, big deal. Anyway. The point is that I didn't really figure it out until kind of recently, but I know it's not really something I've just decided; it makes total sense. I'm more comfortable with the idea of dating women (I am a woman, btw) than I am with dating men, but I know that I will always be at least a little bit attracted to men.

So anyway. The point is that I'm actively trying to explore dating women. The thing is that I've never dated a woman. I've never done anything more than make out with a woman, and I'm kind of ashamed of this, like the lesbian/bi community will shun me (someone who is in her 30's) for this. But I live in a relatively conservative area, and for many different reasons (the biggest of which being that I was a conservative Christian until about 5 years ago), I've dated exclusively men. I just joined Plenty of Fish, and I was honest on my profile about not being incredibly experienced...but I was humorous about it, saying that I was a veritable barrel o' monkeys and that this should not deter anyone from at least having a cup of coffee with me and seeing what I was all about.

What do you think? I don't know, I just feel so embarrassed about my lack of experience.

P.S. I just signed up yesterday and have already had a few ladies favorite me so...go me, I guess.

Better late than never.
Your story is quite similar to mine. I have always known to some degree that I've been attracted to more than just the opposite sex (I identify as female) but, other than sexually, I have never been with a woman: never dated a woman, never been in a relationship with or lived with a woman. A couple of years ago I realized that I really wanted to have that experience. I officially came out when I was 29 (I am 34 now) and knew that I owed it to myself to fully explore my sexuality.
Almost seventeen months ago I met the woman who is now my partner and we've been together ever since. And it feels so natural. So I encourage and support you in your endeavors, and hope you will be as successful as I have been, whether it's settling into a relationship or just dating and exploring your options.
I live in a big city that has a mix of conservative and non-conservative areas, so perhaps it has been easier for me to do this than it might be for you. Either way...good luck, and have fun.

Thank you for your reply.

It's actually kind of scary for me as my best friend is someone I met when I was in my conservative Christian phase (I have borderline personality disorder and used to go through "phases" with my identity issues). She has no idea that I feel this way, and I'm afraid of what would happen if she knew. So if I met someone that I wanted to be with on a more permanent basis, I'd probably lose my best friend. And she's really the only friend I have; other than her, I only have acquaintances.

I know, it's kind of a cluster. Something I probably have to figure out on my own. Anyway, thanks again for the response and support.

Sounds awesome - how you phrased it. Humor should definitely help. I am glad so many women have already reacted positively. I am sure there will be many more to come.

I am straight so I do not have experience to contribute but I just wanted to comment on your great use of language in the profile.

"I've never done anything more than make out with a woman, and I'm kind of ashamed of this, like the lesbian/bi community will shun me (someone who is in her 30's) for this."

Well, and some people go to college in later years and still do well.

That makes sense. Good call.

I'm struggling with self-image, which is typical for BPD, but that's just something I'm going to have to overcome. Attraction is subjective and there's got to be someone who finds me attractive out there, right.

I actually thought that BPD girls tend to fare well as far as being attractive...

Really? I don't know what borderline personality disorder would have to do with attractiveness but... I guess I'll take it.

well, at least we know that BPD girls often have many relationships throughout their lifetimes. Often, filled with drama and quite stormy, but still, many. How do you get into many relationships without being not at all attractive? So, I figure...

You don't have to be attractive to be in lots of relationships. Just willing. I think that some people with BPD are promiscuous because it is part of the BPD impulsivity. Has nothing to do with attractiveness.

Sure, you need to be willing to accept an offer to become part of a relationship, and BPD people probably accept such offers impulsively, left and right. I agree, no doubt about that. But to get the offer in the first place, you still need to be somewhat attractive.

I suppose that's true. But I still think that there are only mildly attractive or even plain people who just put out a vibe, you know? But I suppose "mildly attractive" is on the attractive spectrum, hey? Haha.