Complicated Guys

What I meant was that men/women are, in the final accounting, attractive purely on the strength of the "life force" within them. If a person needs to fit a certain mold badly (be anything that he/she believes that he/she must be in order to be attractive), that means that there is insufficient life force in him/her, and that translates into lack of confidence, and lack of confidence is not sexy, in general. All of it is "in general" with lots of exceptions, and some people do find partners who lack confidence appealing, so I am not making any overarching statements, but, ***in general***, confidence is attractive and genuine confidence is incompatible with trying to be somebody you aren't.

Well I think an overly sensitive man with confidence is an oxymoron. But that's just my opinion.

At this point you're just being rude, especially when she made it clear she didn't want to argue over it. There's nobody telling you that you have to respond, but it'd help to understand what you're reading before having an opinion. But that's just my opinion.

The posts are off-topic anyways...

I'm not being rude at all. What the hell are you blabbering on about?

Three sentences is not blabbering. And "blabbering" is a very rude term, considering I am only trying to stick up for I.am.the.end. As it's my pet peeve, I am not going to comb through the past three pages to show every offending sentence you've written, as that is YOUR job. YOU can read your own rude remarks on every page. But yes, the majority of your remarks have been highly rude to both her and me. And like I said before, is completely off topic.

I wasn't being rude to her, just questioning her beliefs and I haven't even responded to you at all. But I can be rude if you really want me to. Do you want me to be rude?

Because the only person coming across as that right now is yourself when you said I can't understand what I'm reading.

I wonder who gets to decide what is "overly" and what is "just right".

This varies between person to person. I'd also like to point out that having thought back over that comment, I don't think it's always correct. For instance, you can have a very sensitive gay guy, who could act very camp, yet he's also very confident.

So I made an error there.

I think overly sensitive in that maybe crying too much over silly things. Not funerals or anything like that. Crying over things like having an argument with their girlfriend of mother Someone who, when put into a position to stand up for themselves backs down and let's someone or a group of people treat them unfairly.

Someone who will let other people, including there GF treat them badly and accept it.

I think a more dominant aggressive personality would not allow this type of thing to happen.

I think the best way to be is in the middle. Assertive, but not necessarily aggressive, and not passive. You don't let people walk over you, but at the same time you are not jumping down someone's throat.

I would say in am more on the passive or senitive side with people I care about. Most people interact everyday, I am more assertive.

I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling emmotions and showing them.

I grew up in a house of all guys. We never talked about emmotions or supported eachother in That respect. If someone starting to lose it you got something like "get your s***, and suck it up". I think that is the attitude of a lot of guys. More aggresive, dominating, hunter like I guess. Doesn't mean that it is appropriate all of the time. Being overly aggresive makes it difficult to show compassion or empathy.

I see what you are saying. The exciting part for me has been - from time to time - to cause guys who were normally strong and never cried to cry, being filled with emotion and sadness. I can see how making a guy who is - using your definition - "overly sensitive" to begin with, cry is no big deal because he would cry over what you call "silly things" anyway, so his threshold is already low and bringing him to tears is no big deal. When a guy who normally does not cry cries because of a woman (say, because of separating from her), it is, by contrast, a big deal precisely because he is basically making a huge exception to the general rule, and that acknowledges that the woman has made a very significant impact on him. I plan to be nice, fun, and generous in the future and do not plan to cause tears in men anymore, but I admit that I caused them in the past and was happy I did. Causing an "overly sensitive" guy to cry would not have made me happy because there would have been no challenge in it for me, and I like challenges and winning low odds games.

I can see how a woman who does not necessarily prefer winning low odds games (winning as per her internal criteria - internal in her mind) might feel better, safer, and more at ease with somebody whom you would call "overly sensitive" - it just means that women are different and different women prefer different things. Back to OP:

OP conflates a whole lot of completely unrelated things. There is no relationship between liking or not liking sports and being or not being insecure and paranoid. OP seems to think that it is possible to cover up insecurity and paranoia by liking sports or engaging in other stereotypical things, but it is not possible - the only positive thing that liking sports would do (to the extent that one can WILL himself into liking something, which remains a big question) would be to allow for male bonding with other guys who genuinely like sports and have fun talking about sports with other guys. So it would allow a sense of belonging to a group of stereotypical guys, and that, possibly, would make OP more secure around girls, too. But it is a very indirect way to feeling more secure around girls. Just being himself and not trying to be somebody he is not would be a more direct way to feeling more secure around girls.

When a woman says she wants a kind sensitive guy, I think what she means is she wants a man that's sensitive towards her needs and understand her. Not a man who she can make daisy chains with.

This was à propos of what, though?

You might be right. I tend to feel less sensitive when I'm feeling more confident. But I'm all over the map with how I feel, and the fact that I "feel" at all makes me atypical. I am familiar with many emotions, good and bad. So I might be your counter-argument.

You do not feel happiness more easily when you are confident? Really?