What don't you 'get'?

This is a continuation of the one on General Social Chat, but there are some sexual things I don't get that wouldn't be appropriate to post on the other forum, and I'm sure there are sexual things you don't get as well. No explanations necessary.

I don't get fisting. I realize that the vagina can stretch (and so can the ****), but I don't get how that can be at all comfortable. Some people like the sensation of being filled, but I don't see how you can orgasm from that. But it's something I've always been curious about.

I don't get foot fetishes. It's one of the most widely-known and accepted fetishes, but the feet are gross and grimy and dirty. You walk around barefoot picking up dirt, you sweat in your socks, you get fungal infections and athletes foot...and you wanna LICK that?! *shudders*

I don't get why people don't wear condoms every time. Double dutch anyone?

I don't get why people are shocked when they get pregnant and they didn't use any sort of protection.

I don't get why girls are called sluts when they have sex while guys get called players.

I don't get how genital piercings or nipple piercings can be arousing to the person wearing them.

I don't get bikini/Brazilian waxing. Why put yourself through pain just to please someone else? I should know, I got mine done to impress a guy who I never even got intimate with.

Okay, that's it for now.

I don't get why it's 2013 and we still have to fight for gay rights.

I share all of mine with the ones already posted, especially the foot fetish one. I don't judge if one is into that sort of thing, but feet creep me out. I refuse to have a foot that's not my own touch me. lol I'm not even overly keen on my own.

Moving on to my own:

I don't understand how the "pull and pray" method is still around whatsoever. That offers virtually zero in the way of safe sex.

I don't understand "sounding," or how that could be viewed as remotely pleasurable. It seems like it'd be seen as a picture next to the word "pain" in the dictionary.

While possibly a rewording of Doc's point, I don't understand how men who haven't lost their virginity ASAP are seen in a negative light, whereas women who have lost theirs are seen in a negative light.

I don't, in any way, understand the point of the hymen. Granted, I wasn't exactly asked for my input for the design of the human body, but as a guy, I'm fearful of having to potentially deal with that...the notion of hurting her "there" just doesn't really...compute, for lack of more eloquent phrasing.

I have never thought about it this way, but you are right, there is no point. Moreover, the damage it has done over the ages in making female virginity different from male virginity is horrifying. Finally, it does not seem to have any function at all - even

What is the function of the human appendix? Did it once have a purpose that has since been lost? : Scientific American

has a function.

Weird! I think you and I should design Humans 2.0 as an upgrade, with women without any kind of hymen. I did not have a hymen, btw, and the absence of the hymen did not result in anything bad. So, in my experience, sure, it is better without it, without the pain, blood loss, stained sheets, and other such things.

I don't get foot fetishes either. Me and my wife had a conversation about this today.

Me and my wife don't have safe sex. It has been a few years since we stopped using protection. For a long time she was on birth control becuase we didn't want kids. We decided to try and we did for a few years and didn't happen. We don't think we can have kids but we have never been tested. She has a lot of irregular periods and has had a couple miscarriages when she was with her ex. Probable from malnutrition. She went to the doctor a few months ago and everything was on with her.

To me sex feels better without a condom.

I didn't get what sounding was until I looked it up on urbandictionary, but yes, I've seen advertisements that included pictures on fetlife and I agree, I don't get it at all. Probably because I want to touch the penis and don't want anything to get in the way with me touching it or blowing it. (edit: sounding is a form of BDSM, and the point of wearing it is to cause pain)

This is more of a side comment, but can you really feel the man's urethra with your tongue? Or maybe it is so small you can't really tell. I don't get it. =/ When I get a boyfriend it is gonna be my mission to find out.

I don't think you could feel it with your tounge. I mean the inside anyway. The opening is small. You could spread the opening up and lick the urethra, but I don't think you could put your tounge in it. You can feel the uretha from the underside. It is a little softer than the rest and kind of squishes in when you press on it.

Maybe sounding leads to sound docking. I don't know how that would feel good, but I'm sure there is someone out there that it is there thing they love to do.

How funny, "pull and PRAY"! I have never thought of the PRAY part.

At any rate, it is not a zero effectiveness method. I used it with my second H (now almost ex, formally/legally, and, ex since 2009, actually), interchangeably with condoms, so space our two daughters. When Julia was born, I got an IUD, because I did not plan more children.

He was opposed to the Pill because he believed that being on the Pill would affect my desire or harm me in some way. I did not argue - whatever.

So the girls were spaced exactly as we wanted, with each being an instant conception (conceived immediately when we wanted to conceive).

Sometimes he would use condoms and sometimes he would withdraw and finish on my breasts, tummy, or whatever. I trusted his skill since he was in his late 30s when we met, reported having been sexually active since age 13 usually using condoms, had previously married, etc. I would not have used this method with a young guy or with a non-husband or while on drugs that are teratogenic, because I would not have trusted the skill in the case of a young guy and would have been too concerned and also worried about diseases in the case of a non-husband. With a husband, with an understanding that if we were to conceive, we would have the child (I was not on any medications that could be teratogenic), it was an OK method, from time to time. Basically, it was an OK method because conception would not have been a catastrophe anyway, so it was Ok to be a little lax. And, it worked perfectly well.

Data-wise, quoting from Planned Parenthood:

How Effective Is Withdrawal?
Effectiveness is an important and common concern when choosing a birth control method. Like all birth control methods, the pull out method is much more effective when you do it correctly.

Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly.
Couples who have great self-control, experience, and trust may use the pull out method more effectively. Men who use the pull out method must be able to know when they are reaching the point in sexual excitement when ejaculation can no longer be stopped or postponed. If you cannot predict this moment accurately, withdrawal will not be as effective.

Even if a man pulls out in time, pregnancy can still happen. Some experts believe that pre-ejaculate, or pre-cum, can pick up enough sperm left in the urethra from a previous ejaculation to cause pregnancy. If a man urinates between ejaculations before having sex again, it will help clear the urethra of sperm and may increase the effectiveness of withdrawal.

Pregnancy is also possible if semen or pre-ejaculate is spilled on the vulva.

Keep in mind that the withdrawal method does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Use a latex condom or female condom to reduce the risk of infection.

PS May be the method worked so well for us because we did not pray - he just pulled out. Maybe the praying part reduces effectiveness .

Well Hammy, you were operating without half of the procedure...lol stands to thought, I guess?

Didn't realize sounding was within the realm of BDSM. I just thought it was a fetish. Going on to the urethra though, I would wager you could feel the opening, as that's pretty much *there*, but the rest is internal, and if...lol well, if it's in your mouth, I'd wager it's gonna be too hard to feel anything inside. Frankly speaking.

I consider any and all fetishes to be at least the crazy cousins of BDSM. I am speaking of BDSM as a lifestyle, because there are multiple meanings in the name: Bondage/Discpline, Dominant/Submissive, Sadism/Mascochism. So not all of BDSM involves pain, but BDSM as a lifestyle involves more than just whips and chains.

I have a pretty vivid imagination and I can experience the physical sensation pretty well in my mind, and I think I could probably feel the outside part of it. Obviously you can't feel the inside but I think if I was slow enough I could feel it with my tongue.

That's an interesting (though pretty apt) way to think of it. I hadn't considered that.

lol We could probably have a whole new topic on "Your views on fetishes/sex/more applicable word here."

On the subject of urethra's through, I remain skeptical, though I've been plenty wrong before. It's a very thin tube with quite a bit surrounding it. You *MIGHT* be able to feel the faintest hint of it while limp if you were to, say, grasp it (lol though your partner might have mixed feelings on you hunting for his urethra unless you very skillfully hide what you're aiming at ), but I think it'd be nigh impossible while erect.

Oh yes please! I would love a fetish thread! I'm thinking of being out in the open about my fetishes again...Idk though, I got chewed out before.

Here's what I have to say about revealing my fetish:

teeheehehehehehehehehehheheheeeeeeee

rofl Now where have I seen that picture before?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha ohhh myyyyy xD

I am sorry this is just too funny for me so I will post even though as of an hour ago I was still committed to not responding to the main topic of this thread.

So I am sorry this is just so funny.

So the question is:

"What don't you 'get'?"

So... I won't even begin with what I already do not get but at least know the names for (say, "sounding" - I just looked it up in the urban dictionary), and won't even continue to say that I am sure that there are thousands of other unusual things that I do not know the names for but if I were to learn their names, I would still not get them.

So when there are two sets: one is small and contained and the other big and possibly endless (there is no limit to people's imagination and just as I learned about "sounding" today, and I cannot possibly imagine inventing something like that on my own, I might learn about something else tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow... ad infinitum), it is much easier to list the elements of the small set.

So I get -

- kissing, hugging, caresses, those things,
- vaginal intercourse,
- theoretically rectal intercourse but have not tried,
- theoretically the involvement of sex toys but have not tried,
- oral sex in the presence of overwhelming passion and raw emotion and between people engaging in a fluid bond

All of that between a man and a woman.

I also can see how a woman might have sex with two men in the same session, who have sex with her and not between one another, but have not tried it. But I do see a point in trying it.

That is all. Nothing else. But I

- do support the right of others to do whatever they want as long as there are no victims!

- do feel the sense of wonder more and more as I read about unusual things more and more, and the unusual things do reveal the immense power of human imagination. And since it is human imagination that powers human creativity, it follows that...

On a more general note, I do not get, AT ALL, the interest in DOING things together, sexually. I have never had that interest.

By way of comparison:

- I once went to a beading class and I did beading alongside some other women. We got together to do something together. That was great! But it was not sex. Not because they were all women, but because we got together with the express purpose of doing things together.

- I went to my first Meetup last week, and, again all of the participants were women, but it was not that that made it into "not sex". We were basically having a free, insightful, and outrageously helpful group therapy session, using a very specific method. It was great. But again we got together to do specific things together, with a shared stated purpose, and that made it into "not sex".

Sex, to me, is simply BEING with another person. Not DOING a number of interesting things together but simply BEING. I guess that is why I do not get how people look forward to doing things XYZ with their yet-to-materialize partner to be, or, how people select partners to fit a particular lifestyle. It even seems to border on "using a person" to me - say, when you are just being with a person, you are not using that person, but if you need the person to do things XYZ or help roleplay a certain fantasy, it seems like you are "using a person". That is what I do not get. But of course that I do not get it does not make it any less exciting for others who do.