I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-01-2013, 09:14 AM #1
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
sentient6 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15

5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Frown I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

I don't know how to explain it, it kind of turns me on to see people with whom I have an erotic relationship being emotionally hurt by me. Also, I just can't find pleasure in kissing or even having sex if it's this romantic kind of stuff, just like I hate flowers and easy, loving relationships...I have such a hard time getting close to people in general and just can't seem to be attracted to someone to the point where I want to actually have sex with them, except one specific person. Over the years, I have realized that when I end up having the one I want, he is no longer of interest to me and I start searching for other men...it actually saddens me that I can't really love someone...why is this happening to me? Oh and I should add that after I hurt those people -or fantasize of hurting them-, I feel sorry for them and so sick of myself. I just find them so weak and vulnerable and...human...Am I really ****ed up?! (sorry for the language) I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 2 years, for other issues, but I'm too ashamed to talk about this...
__________________
I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.
sentient6 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 07-01-2013, 09:29 AM #2
Turtleboy's Avatar
Turtleboy Turtleboy is online now
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
 
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 4,530
Turtleboy Turtleboy is online now
Super Moderator
Community Support Team
Turtleboy's Avatar
Turtleboy You don't wrestle with pigs, you both get dirty and the pig loves it!
 
Member Since: Jul 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 4,530

5 yr Member
5,327 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

hey I'm sorry things are working out so bad for you sentient
i personally would try to discuss this with a Therapist it might shed some light on a condition or emotional response you have yet unrecognized.
Your T should be able to help you understand these feelings and maybe help you to come to some sort of peace as to why you feel this way.
wishing you all the best of luck
__________________
Turtleboy is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 07-01-2013, 11:21 AM #3
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
hamster-bamster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
3,828 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by sentient6 View Post
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 2 years, for other issues, but I'm too ashamed to talk about this...
There is no point in spending so much time and, presumably, money, on seeing a psychiatrist if you cannot be honest and upfront with him or her. You might as well stop. If you are ashamed to talk, write it down and give him or her the note to read. It might be a therapy issue more so than a psychiatry issue, as turtleboy pointed out, but then the psychiatrist will make recommendations or referrals.

Imagine that your deal with the psychiatrist from now on is:

- you send a check on a regular basis
- you do not come to see the psychiatrist

Weird? but that is what is going on right now - you are paying money while receiving no service.
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 07-01-2013, 11:31 AM #4
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
sentient6 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15

5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
you are paying money while receiving no service.
that is not true, I'm suffering from severe depression, anxiety, self-destructive behavior, suicidal thoughts and have a few other issues...without the psychiatrist I'd probably be dead by now...
__________________
I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.
sentient6 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 11:45 AM #5
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
hamster-bamster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
3,828 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by sentient6 View Post
that is not true, I'm suffering from severe depression, anxiety, self-destructive behavior, suicidal thoughts and have a few other issues...without the psychiatrist I'd probably be dead by now...
well if you were able to disclose self-destructive behavior to the psychiatrist, what stops you from disclosing feeling pleasure in emotionaly hurting people you are sexually attracted to? Why is self-destructive behavior so different from feeling pleasure from hurting others? Because of the "self" part? You are not ashamed of hurting yourself but are ashamed of trying to hurt others? Where do you draw the line?
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 12:05 PM #6
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
sentient6 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15

5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

I can do whatever I want to myself, I do not have the right to hurt others though...
__________________
I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.
sentient6 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 04:32 PM #7
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
hamster-bamster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
3,828 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by sentient6 View Post
I can do whatever I want to myself, I do not have the right to hurt others though...
I see... that makes sense - I see where you are drawing the line.

But then... you cannot talk to your psychiatrist about doing things that are not within your right? Has the psychiatrist instructed you to censor yourself this way - only talk about things that are within your right, or do you censor yourself on your own?
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-01-2013, 05:47 PM #8
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
hamster-bamster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
3,828 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Basically, without professional help, you need to explore other ways of seeing humanity in people. That you sense humanity is not bad per se; it is just that you need other ways to see humanity in people - other than by hurting them and then enjoying experiencing their vulnerabilities. there is a silver lining to what you describe. It just has not yet been revealed to you, so to speak. You will be OK, but I would recommend being honest with the mental health professionals. I would be stunned if your psychiatrist acts suprised when you tell him / her this.
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 07-02-2013, 08:26 AM #9
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15
sentient6 sentient6 is offline
Junior Member
sentient6 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Location: nowhere really
Posts: 15

5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

I can talk about whatever I want with her, I'm just ashamed of it. But I will mention this when I see her again. Thank you
__________________
I think hell is something you carry around with you. Not somewhere you go.
sentient6 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 07-02-2013, 12:14 PM #10
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
Account Suspended
hamster-bamster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,805 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
3,828 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: I find pleasure in emotionally hurting people I'm sexually attracted to

Quote:
Originally Posted by sentient6 View Post
I can talk about whatever I want with her, I'm just ashamed of it. But I will mention this when I see her again. Thank you
usually, when you decide what to talk about with the psychiatrist, and it is an important decision, because you probably have very limited time with her and need to filter out what is not necessary, so, usually, feeling strong feelings about something - including shame - is a signal to you that the something is MORE important to talk about than alternate topics that do not trigger strong feelings - not LESS, but MORE. That is one of the main differences between talking to a mental health professional and engaging in small talk.

I hope she can be helpful to you.
hamster-bamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:17 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.