Living with Sexual Anorexia - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 08-06-2013, 04:25 PM #21
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

Haha.
Maybe I misread somewhere, and missed it...but Appalachian, do you not identify as being asexual? Instead of merely seeking an asexual partner I mean? Perhaps it's something that works for you. At any rate, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I'm sorry any of us do. Sexuality seems to be one of the tried and true hot-button issues that nobody really talks about (for the most part) and is not allowed to express in a normal, healthy way. I believe all forms of sexuality are valid (providing they are consensual and do not cause harm to others) and that if we were actually given the space and support to explore what that is for us we'd be a lot better off as a society.
I wish you all the best in your journey.
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Old 08-06-2013, 07:31 PM #22
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

Quote:
Originally Posted by spondiferous View Post
Haha.
Maybe I misread somewhere, and missed it...but Appalachian, do you not identify as being asexual? Instead of merely seeking an asexual partner I mean? Perhaps it's something that works for you. At any rate, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this. I'm sorry any of us do. Sexuality seems to be one of the tried and true hot-button issues that nobody really talks about (for the most part) and is not allowed to express in a normal, healthy way. I believe all forms of sexuality are valid (providing they are consensual and do not cause harm to others) and that if we were actually given the space and support to explore what that is for us we'd be a lot better off as a society.
I wish you all the best in your journey.
No, I don't identify as being Asexual. An Asexual does not experience any sexual attraction at all. I do, I experience sexual urges and attraction but I hate that I do. And while being with someone who is Asexual would probably be a good match, I'm not going to hold myself to that.
I have made some good progress on this with my current therapist. I'm not really the kind of guy to go out and try to "force" a relationship, but I'm not going to sabotage or avoid potential engagements like I have all my life. I'm just going to have to be open and honest and trust that whoever may come along will understand.
Thank you for your help and your concern. You're right, even though today we live in a more sexually progressive society than we ever have, it's still a pretty awkward subject. It's nice to have a place like this to talk about it openly with accepting people.
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Old 08-08-2013, 12:27 AM #23
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

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Originally Posted by AppalachianAxis View Post
No, I don't identify as being Asexual. An Asexual does not experience any sexual attraction at all. I do, I experience sexual urges and attraction but I hate that I do.


...

even though today we live in a more sexually progressive society than we ever have, it's still a pretty awkward subject.
I am afraid that your case is the toughest. A more sexually progressive society is something that would help a guy who, basically, likes sex, but needs to shed some baggage with respect to sex-negativity. But you hate what you do. It is more complex. Much more complex. I am glad therapy has been fruitful.
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Old 08-09-2013, 05:54 PM #24
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

So, my Therapist has brought up the interesting proposal of me making an appointment with a psychiatrist with the intent of starting me on some medication. Nothing specific so far, but she mentioned Antidepressants and maybe some moderate OCD medications. Not that I'm depressed or obsessive. Although the OCD meds would come into play in regards to breaking my current binge-and-fast cycle of indulging in pornography and masturbation. Some of these medicines apparently have been known to drastically reduce one's sex drive as a side-effect. While for most people this would be a pretty undesirable hindrance, I think it would go a long way towards my getting over my impulses.

Just a few things I'm hesitant about.
Firstly as I said I'm not what you'd call depressed and outside of masturbating more often than I'd like I don't really have any other obsessive or compulsive tendencies. I'm a bit apprehensive about how starting medication would affect me outside of the whole sex thing. I just don't want to change who I am because of this. Eh, perhaps I'm just being a bit paranoid?
Secondly, my therapist took the effort to regal me with horror stories about the time it takes to actually get in to see a local psychiatrist. And when I did, I've got no guarantee that this personal would understand my reasons behind wanting to get on these medications. I imagine that if I went to any regular doctor and told them I wanted drugs that would kill my sex drive, they might just refer me right back to therapy!
Lastly, I guess I just don't really know how to feel about taking medicine for this problem. Maybe I'm just being way too stubborn and prideful to turn away help when it's offered to me, but I can't help but feel a bit weak if I were to to this. I'm worried I'll always feel like I could have beaten this thing on my own but didn't have the will power to do so.

Does anybody have any thoughts or opinions? I really cannot overstate how much I appreciate any kind of help I can get.
Thanks!
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Old 08-09-2013, 06:41 PM #25
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

Maybe you need to be emotionally invested in someone before you feel sexual attraction to them?
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Old 08-09-2013, 08:29 PM #26
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

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Maybe you need to be emotionally invested in someone before you feel sexual attraction to them?
Thanks, but as I've posted above, the problem isn't any lack of sexual attraction on my part. I do experience sexual attraction, but I hate it and I wish it wasn't a part of my life.
And to feel sexual attraction for someone I care about emotionally just feels... wrong.
Ill. Repulsive. Bad. Flat-out immoral. Whatever you want to call it, it's just one of the worst thoughts that could enter my head and I would never act on that impulse in a million years because sex holds nothing good for me.

Thus, I want to either completely get rid of my sex drive, master it and never again act on it, or at the very least drastically reduce it. And now my therapist is talking about trying some antidepressant and OCD medication, which might help force my sex drive down a few notches (hopefully more). I'm just a little uneasy about taking medication for a condition I don't have strictly to gain the side-effect of a eviscerated libido. Also because of the other reasons stated in my previous post.

Any advice?
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Old 08-10-2013, 01:18 AM #27
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

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I'm just a little uneasy about taking medication for a condition I don't have strictly to gain the side-effect of a eviscerated libido.
Do realize that both intended effects and side effects of medications cannot be predicted in advance. What it means to you is:

- it is possible that medications would not produce the libido eviscerating effects (three medications killed my libido fully: Topamax, Risperdal, and Geodon - but none of them are antidepressants or OCD meds; plus, that I had this reaction does not mean that you would)

- it is possible that even though medications would produce the libido eviscerating effect, they would also produce other side effects that would be intolerable

So... just to keep in mind that the medications route does not have a particulrly high likelihood of helping you.
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Old 08-10-2013, 09:01 AM #28
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Do realize that both intended effects and side effects of medications cannot be predicted in advance. What it means to you is:

- it is possible that medications would not produce the libido eviscerating effects (three medications killed my libido fully: Topamax, Risperdal, and Geodon - but none of them are antidepressants or OCD meds; plus, that I had this reaction does not mean that you would)

- it is possible that even though medications would produce the libido eviscerating effect, they would also produce other side effects that would be intolerable

So... just to keep in mind that the medications route does not have a particulrly high likelihood of helping you.
Thanks. The more I consider this option, the less enthusiastic I am towards it. You're right, side-effects are far from guaranteed and I may end up with others that I'm not looking for!
Guess it's on to plan... what am I on now, K? M? I know I passed B a long time ago.
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Old 08-10-2013, 05:28 PM #29
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Default Re: Living with Sexual Anorexia

Plan Z......radical acceptrance (a DBT - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy term)....it is what it is......don't stress or worry about it & don't focus on it......find more important & interesting things to focus your thoughts on & get on with your life. It's only our society that has made sex such a huge part of everyone's life & having to define their sexuality.......people who don't like labels have sure taken to having labels on sexuality...IMO.
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Old 08-10-2013, 05:42 PM #30
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Plan Z......radical acceptrance (a DBT - Dialectical Behavioral Therapy term)....it is what it is......don't stress or worry about it & don't focus on it......find more important & interesting things to focus your thoughts on & get on with your life. It's only our society that has made sex such a huge part of everyone's life & having to define their sexuality.......people who don't like labels have sure taken to having labels on sexuality...IMO.
DBT's Radical Acceptance sounds FAR better as an approach than the medication route. It has no side effects.
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