[Steph44]

I basically just(finally) came out to myself and to my therapist last Thursday as a lesbian and have been struggling with anxiety ever since. I am in my mid 40s, never been married and have never been in a relationship with a woman. To top it off, I think I have a crush on my female(heterosexual) therapist(she is in her mid 60s). Please help!

What stop you from dating woman why did you wait until now ?

Just wondering ..

[Steph44]

Thanks Well, without going into too many details because I know there is a specific forum for this topic, I was working through childhood trauma and my fear of men. I also think my religious upbringing played a part in my denial. I guess I feel excited but at the same time, a bit unsure of myself.

I know it's scary and exciting at the same time , because your not hiding anymore and I am sure your T will help you threw out your journey .

I wish you the best

[ifst5]

Good for you! In time the anxiety will ease and your new situation will be easier to navigate. To be honest, your life won't really change as much as you might think - I just hope you have supportive people around you. Remember there are plenty of people out there who will happily be your adoptive family. Have fun enjoying this new period of your life

Personally I don't know if telling your T that you have a crush on her will turn out good .
Because she is str8 and it might back fire and she might feel she can't work with you if you have feelings for her .

So just be careful it could go either way , bad or good .

[Steph44]

Thanks I have supportive friends and family Will have to think about the therapist thing... Good advice

[Webgoji]

First ... WOOT! Congrats on letting yourself be you!

Second, transference is pretty common so developing a crush on your therapist happens quite a bit. That's a relationship though that needs to stay where it is.

But now you've thrown off your chains so get out there! (When you're ready of course.) Time to let yourself be happy and meet that someone special.

[AS6855]

Take time to figure out who you are with this new revelation. When I first realiseed my sexuality and started coming out I got into a couple of really bad relationships becuase I was kissing all the girls (because they let me) and got a little too attached to a couple of them.

That was a few years ago and I am currently taking it slow with a woman who is very caring but we both get a little tongue-tied around each other so it is seriously awkward and our interaction requires a little bit of alcohol haha

But it has been a long process of figuring out how to talk to women and who I work best with.

Again, just take your time.