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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 267
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May 09, 2014 at 12:32 AM
#1
I have a sex drive. I masturbate. But I have no desire to have sex with another person. I have been molested as a child and raped a couple months ago and I consider sex to be universally negative. Where males are involved even flirting with me is repulsive. I don't want a sexless relationship when I love someone. But I also feel like no matter what if I had sex it would ruin the relationship for me.
I don't know if I'm asexual or scared. I just know I have no interest in sex. Even fantasies about it are completely unappealing. So am I asexual? __________________ Are you okay? I'm acting like I'm okay - please don't interrupt my performance! 
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 RTerroni
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: hippocampus
Posts: 2,379
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May 10, 2014 at 11:55 AM
#2
I am asexual, but more demisexual these days (the definition being you can be sexually attracted to someone after a strong bond is made), and I was raped as a teenager.
Thing is, I was pretty much asexual before these things took place. Many asexual people have a sex drive and masturbate. It's just you don't want to do those things with another person. __________________ You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.. |
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| Angelornot, AppalachianAxis
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 Angelornot, AppalachianAxis
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Elder
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 5,751
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May 16, 2014 at 04:49 PM
#3
You could be Asexual, I consider myself to be Asexual but I still masturbate almost daily.
__________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 156
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May 16, 2014 at 07:27 PM
#4
In the end, it's up to you. I've had people suggest that I'm Asexual because of my own hatred for my sexual drive. I happen to disagree, as I believe that is not what Asexual means. It mean the absence of sexual desire. But, if you feel that Asexual best describes not wanting to have sex with other people, then that's your call.
You're you. That's something you'll hear a lot, don't worry too much about labels. |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 437
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May 16, 2014 at 07:41 PM
#5
I was molested for 9 years as a child and then raped my freshman year of college. I had a need to feel connected to someone and I tried to be in relationships, but as hard as I tried when the relationship moved towards intimacy I really struggled. It triggered what I now know is my PTSD. I don't even masturbate because it triggers me.
A while back I was discussing relationships with my pdoc and she asked if I saw myself in a relationship in my future. She saw exactly what I was feeling - the adult me wanted to say yes, but my little girl was saying "oh hell no!!!". My thought is, that because of the traumas you endured, you are asexual, but it's due to PTSD. Are you in any type of therapy to help you overcome what happened? |
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| Angelornot, hamster-bamster, RTerroni
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hamster-bamster, RTerroni
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: moon
Posts: 4
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Jul 27, 2014 at 09:06 PM
#6
Iīm not that old so, I guess I still have plenty of time to know if I am or not, but, is hard looking at my friends being so excited about their relationships, or them being in love, it made me happy, but at the same time make me feel kind of lonely, to me all the stuff related with sex or kissing is disgusting, unnecessary and uncomfortable, I have never been with someone or even kissed someone but i donīt feel like doing it.
I have seen porn an read about it and is not uncomfortable is even interesting but imagine me doing it or being near to do it is just... i canīt /: Sometimes I feel like I want to have sex, kiss, and all that, to try, to know, but when I start thinking seriously or imagining is... nope |
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: moon
Posts: 4
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Jul 27, 2014 at 09:16 PM
#7
I guess I feel like you, but I donīt masturbate. I consider sex and even kissing kind of disgusting and some people say is because I havenīt try it but I just donīt feel like doing it
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: moon
Posts: 4
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Oct 06, 2014 at 08:26 PM
#8
Quote:
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Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 156
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Oct 09, 2014 at 08:52 AM
#9
At the recommendation of my T, I'm currently about halfway through a fascinating and quite liberating book about Asexuality that you may be interested in.
It's called "The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality" By Julie Sondra Decker. It's by far the most comprehensive guide I've come across on the subject, and has been extremely helpful to me personally. I too, have a sex drive and frequently masturbate, but I'd never actually have sex with another person. And yes, I can absolutely be Asexual. I very highly recommend anyone with questions about Asexuality to give this book a read. |
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hamster-bamster
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Oct 09, 2014 at 09:54 AM
#10
I'm not sure because you have a sex drive so it's like a small door is open , could it be you just have not met the right person to give you those feelings that spark your sex drive ?
What about meds. ? I know for me I am on meds. and it killed my sex drive . I never enjoyed sex period but when I was not taking my meds. I would watch porn and get my orgasm from that . |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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