Question to Hetrosexuals

Mike_J · May 23, 2014 at 04:02 PM

Would you break up with someone if you found out they had "gender reassignment surgery"?

To me it would be an emotional hurdle to get over but I would like to think I would be OK with it after the initial shock.

May 23, 2014 at 04:36 PM

Assuming I was dating (I never have) if I discovered that I wouldn't continue with the relationship.

Wysteria · May 23, 2014 at 04:56 PM

This was a much harder question than I thought at first...
I'm female...and would absolutely support/nurture/assist my boyfriend in being all that he/she could be...

But at one point, I have to also choose for myself whether I want to be in a relationship with a woman. I don't know if I'd be as attracted or change myself that much. I know I would still love my friend with some strong love, but whether I wanted to continue in a sexual relationship would take a lot of time and self-analysis. I support the boyfriend completely in his decision, but then she would have to also support me in my decision for what is best for me.

It depends on the person, the relationship, the timing, the age, how they change during the process...
lots of variables for such a simple yes/no question.

WB

growlithing · May 28, 2014 at 04:49 AM

If he doesn't have a penis, we won't be able to work out. I support anyone's decision to live as the gender they are inside, and I wish that I could overlook genitals. But I can't. I refuse to be intimate with a vagina or anyone that has one.

However, if he had surgery to become anatomically male, I wouldn't care what he was born with. Unfortunately, I don't think that surgery exists yet. I know they can have their breasts removed but to my knowledge, I don't think that FtM genital surgery is a thing yet.

hamster-bamster · May 30, 2014 at 06:00 PM

I do not think in such abstract terms. I know a woman who used to be a man, but not the reverse. Since I cannot even picture what the question is about, I will defer thinking about it until and unless such reality presents itself as something relevant to me, and then I will see what my thoughts, reactions, and choices are. I think, also, that the likelihood of it happening is small, so actually thinking about it would be wasteful of my time.

Mike, since this question is not relevant to you now in practical terms, I think that the essential question you really are asking yourself is how flexible and accepting you are. It sounds like you would like to think of yourself as open-minded, but are a bit worried whether this ideal would sustain reality testing. Further, it sounds like you think that in the end you would be able to live up to the standards you set for yourself, but only after the initial shock wears off. Is this more or less where you stand?

TheOriginalMe · May 30, 2014 at 06:19 PM

I can't honestly say. If I met someone who'd already had surgery and they were open about it I would certainly respect them and explore my own attitudes more closely. TBH I don't ever see myself in a sexual relationship so it is purely hypothetical. The barriers to my having a relationship with anyone are far higher than any posed by gender whether given by nature or reassigned by the surgeon.

May 30, 2014 at 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike_J

Would you break up with someone if you found out they had "gender reassignment surgery"?

To me it would be an emotional hurdle to get over but I would like to think I would be OK with it after the initial shock.

Can you clarify that? Do you mean for instance if I was dating a woman and found out later that she was born a man?
A lot of my reaction would depend on how I found out. Honestly though that would be such a complicated situation that I'm not sure what I'd do or how I'd feel. We'd all like to think that we would react in a way that reflects our ideals but when the theoretical becomes reality who can say?

DoggieDad · May 31, 2014 at 11:53 AM

As a FTM transsexual, some of the posts in this thread sadden me deeply. I won't call anyone out specifically, but please realize that much of our prejudice comes out of ignorance (not an insult-we are all ignorant in different ways). At least in this case I hope so, as I would hate to think that anyone is trying to inflict pain.

RTerroni · May 31, 2014 at 05:47 PM

Probably not since I would probably cease to be Heterosexual IMO.

May 31, 2014 at 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Probably not since I would probably cease to be Heterosexual IMO.

That's an interesting point. Brings up the question of what exactly is heterosexuality other than the obvious biological aspects. I think it's been established that sexuality in terms of procreation is basically ruled by chemicals and the instinct to perpetuate the species. After that... who knows. If robots/androids were perfected to a point that surgery or imaging machines would be required tell distinguish a human from a machine there would be questions like yours. If there was an android in female form that you were attracted to and a relationship developed... would that mean you were no longer heterosexual? I wonder.

ididwhat? · May 31, 2014 at 08:15 PM

I could never *boom* break up with someone I loved for any reason. I'd need to come to an understanding of things for myself which means I'd wanna talk about it... figure it out. I wouldn't be like "Oh crap. Sex change? That's it. I'm out." Not at all. I'd be more like, "I love you baby. Let's talk." At least, I think I'd be like that... or I'd like to think I'd be like that...

growlycat · May 31, 2014 at 08:23 PM

A complicated question!! It depends on the circumstance for me I guess.

*I would hope that this would come up earlier in the relationship not later…I value honesty in my relationships.

*If it were a male-to-female transition, I would be supportive but might find it hard to stay in a romantic relationship

*If I was dating a formerly female person who was now male, it would be a shock, but there might be a possibility of adjusting. But if no below the belt work had been done, I might have a harder time accepting/adjusting

*If I were madly deeply in love, its a free-for-all---anything is possible

RTerroni · Jun 01, 2014 at 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George H.

That's an interesting point. Brings up the question of what exactly is heterosexuality other than the obvious biological aspects. I think it's been established that sexuality in terms of procreation is basically ruled by chemicals and the instinct to perpetuate the species. After that... who knows. If robots/androids were perfected to a point that surgery or imaging machines would be required tell distinguish a human from a machine there would be questions like yours. If there was an android in female form that you were attracted to and a relationship developed... would that mean you were no longer heterosexual? I wonder.

Well typically as I see it Heterosexuality means that you are attracted to the opposite sex and I usually take that to mean biologically, so if someone is Trans-gender than they aren't biologically the opposite sex to them.

Jun 01, 2014 at 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTerroni

Well typically as I see it Heterosexuality means that you are attracted to the opposite sex and I usually take that to mean biologically, so if someone is Trans-gender than they aren't biologically the opposite sex to them.

But except for the procreation aspect, they are essentially the opposite sex. It becomes less about biology and more about personal views. Anyway that's getting off topic I think. I was just curious from a philosophical perspective. Thanks

Jun 01, 2014 at 03:29 AM

I would end the relationship as I would need someone of the opposite sex (biologically) in order to have children.

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Jun 01, 2014 at 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George H.

But except for the procreation aspect, they are essentially the opposite sex. It becomes less about biology and more about personal views. Anyway that's getting off topic I think. I was just curious from a philosophical perspective. Thanks

They still have the XY chromosomes and the internal organs of a male. Unless they find a way to change that as well as the outward appearance then there's no such thing as gender reassignment. Any man who has sex with a M to F transsexual is having sex with another man. That may sound harsh, it may seem blunt and perhaps offend some. but It's my belief and I stand by it.

Jun 01, 2014 at 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

They still have the XY chromosomes and the internal organs of a male. Unless they find a way to change that as well as the outward appearance then there's no such thing as gender reassignment. Any man who has sex with a M to F transsexual is having sex with another man. That may sound harsh, it may seem blunt and perhaps offend some. but It's my belief and I stand by it.

That part pretty much falls under the procreation part of it for this discussion wouldn't you say?

Jun 01, 2014 at 10:27 PM

Well... as an untransitioned MtF transsexual I hope I would feel as though it didn't matter. I don't think it would. But there are certainly other factors that could influence this. It's an interesting question to ponder given my personal situation.

Mike_J · Jun 02, 2014 at 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Mike, since this question is not relevant to you now in practical terms, I think that the essential question you really are asking yourself is how flexible and accepting you are. It sounds like you would like to think of yourself as open-minded, but are a bit worried whether this ideal would sustain reality testing. Further, it sounds like you think that in the end you would be able to live up to the standards you set for yourself, but only after the initial shock wears off. Is this more or less where you stand?

It real life this isn't a situation that I'm in, or one that I'm ever likely to be in. And you are right I would like to think of myself as being very open minded about things, but you never really know how you will react to a situation until you are faced with it.

And to everyone let me say that I'm sorry to anyone who has been offended by the topic of this thread, or to any of the comments made by myself or others. It was never my intention to offend others or provide an opportunity for others to do so.

Yogurtz · Jun 03, 2014 at 07:18 PM

As a male if I found out my current GF had gender reassignment surgery, it wouldn't be an issue to me; she would still be the beautiful, amazing person that I love

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Anonymous33537 Guest Posts: n/a	May 23, 2014 at 04:36 PM #2 Assuming I was dating (I never have) if I discovered that I wouldn't continue with the relationship.
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DoggieDad Member Member Since May 2014 Location: I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out Posts: 155 9 39 hugs given	May 31, 2014 at 11:53 AM #8 As a FTM transsexual, some of the posts in this thread sadden me deeply. I won't call anyone out specifically, but please realize that much of our prejudice comes out of ignorance (not an insult-we are all ignorant in different ways). At least in this case I hope so, as I would hate to think that anyone is trying to inflict pain.
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RTerroni Elder Member Since Sep 2013 Location: USA Posts: 5,751 10 2,136 hugs given	May 31, 2014 at 05:47 PM #9 Probably not since I would probably cease to be Heterosexual IMO. __________________ COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022
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Anonymous35111 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 01, 2014 at 03:29 AM #15 I would end the relationship as I would need someone of the opposite sex (biologically) in order to have children. Sent using Tapatalk
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Anonymous100305 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 01, 2014 at 10:27 PM #18 Well... as an untransitioned MtF transsexual I hope I would feel as though it didn't matter. I don't think it would. But there are certainly other factors that could influence this. It's an interesting question to ponder given my personal situation.
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Yogurtz Member Member Since Oct 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 101 10 11 hugs given	Jun 03, 2014 at 07:18 PM #20 As a male if I found out my current GF had gender reassignment surgery, it wouldn't be an issue to me; she would still be the beautiful, amazing person that I love
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