Number of partners

hamster-bamster · Sep 07, 2014 at 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StbGuy

Sometimes victims and perpetrators don't know they are exactly that. I've been done in before where I was only able to work out 10 years later that I was conned. And, that was only after technology progressed and revealed things previously unknown. But, I've done things too where I find out later I maybe hurt someone, and they don't even realize it either!!! How can you be so sure that when you do something like that, that it isn't wrong or a crime, it might only seem that way, but that's not to say it is. We don't know that for sure.

This is true but not specific to relationships outside marriage. In fact you can get conned MAJORLY within a marriage, and I got as well as some people I know who have posted on this thread - I won't name names for privacy reasons.

In other words, what you are saying applies to relationships in marriage, after marriage before marriage and the list goes on.

In some ways people within the marriage are more vulnerable. If you have a gf/bf whom you see once a week for a movie, walk in the park and some sex, there is not much manipulation that can be going on because of the lack of dependency-inducing factors.

Sep 07, 2014 at 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

This is true but not specific to relationships outside marriage. In fact you can get conned MAJORLY within a marriage, and I got as well as some people I know who have posted on this thread - I won't name names for privacy reasons.

In other words, what you are saying applies to relationships in marriage, after marriage before marriage and the list goes on.

In some ways people within the marriage are more vulnerable. If you have a gf/bf whom you see once a week for a movie, walk in the park and some sex, there is not much manipulation that can be going on because of the lack of dependency-inducing factors.

You are exactly right!!! You see, that's what I mean, it's covert. You wouldn't expect your own spouse to do you in somehow, but it happens, and the saddest thing is sometimes the victim doesn't even know it!

But, I am talking of relationships outside marriage, more specifically sex before marriage (sex after marriage is more complex obviously since the person has sexual experience during marriage, etc.). How can one be 100% sure that all one's sexual adventures before getting married doesn't maybe affect something 30 years into your marriage maybe one day? I had a rubbish childhood, I never once expected those little things that happened to me at 5/6 years old to now haunt me and make me depressed at 25, but it has! You can never discount the impact of the insignificant, no matter how benign it seems at the time of happening!

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