Recently circumcised... What now?

Hi everybody!
I'm new to this forum. I've already introduced myself. But this is the place where I'll try to be as frank and open as I'm able about what's happening to me.

Some brief background: I'm a guy soon to turn 30. Last month I underwent surgery for the first time in my whole life. I got circumcised due to a severe case of phimosis.

I suffered from phimosis since forever. And it meant more than just a physical condition, but also my biggest complex. For real.

Being unable to retract my foreskin and expose my glans always made me feel dysfunctional and weird. I would avoid any "risk" of intimacy by all means. And when I talk about "risk of intimacy", I mean the slightiest chance of getting to know someone: even hanging out or dating were something I would run away from. And even if I did dated, I would find a way to screw it up.

Needless to say, the few relationships I had were total crap.

I lost my virginity in my very late twenties, to a prostitute. I thought she wouldn't turn me down for my "condition". Having a long and tight foreskin was not only a matter of functionality: I was so ashamed of it, because it seemed ugly to me, and therefore I took for granted that everyone else would think the same.

Perhaps I'm not being clear enough (sorry, it's not you - it's me, since English it's not my native language). Foreskin not only prevented me from being naked in front of my partner (that's the "psychological aspect" to it, so to say), but also it blocked my blood flow's way to the glans, which (if this wasn't enough) got practicaly no stimulation whatsoever, due to the thick layer of skin that covered it (that's the "mechanical" or "physiological aspect").

Having sex with a prostitute was quite a relief. It somewhat helped me to feel less anxious. But sex in itself wasn't so enjoyable. And I'm not necessarily talking about not getting intimate with a more-or-less steady and stable other. The problem was still the "mechanical aspect" I mentioned previously. (Though , in some subconcious level, my psychological issues might as well have been taking its part too).

I told my urologist about all of this. He prescribed me Viagra. But also warned me about my phimosis. He told me to undergo surgery as soon as possible. But I was in denial. I was (and always had been) so scare to face that kind of operation. I just couldn't. Human mind works in mysterious ways. The source of all my suffering was one scapel away from being removed, and instead I would keep it safe and sound inside my underwear, like if I would prefer a downhill love and sex life instead of facing my fears for good and getting rid off what brought me so many anxiety and frustration.

Viagra did its magic. So, for a couple of months, I was "catching up" that way. Escorts and Viagra. Viagra and escorts.

Until I ran out of Viagra. Then, I tried to give it a try without chemical help. It was awful. I couldn't get hard enough. That was the last time so far I went to a hooker. I felt so humiliated. I was not the first time I was unable to get hard with a woman. But in that occasion it was like "enough is enough".

So I quitted prostitutes. And decided to undergo surgery. I spare you all the mental strain that led me to that decision.

I got cut. Post-op went just fine. Except for having to abstain from masturbation (and any kind sexual intercouse, either penetrative or not). It was the longest and slowest month of my whole life. Somehow I managed to keep naughty thoughts away. But all I could thing (and what motivated me during the rehabilitation) was having my revenge. A rematch for the lost time.

I thought: "Ok, once I'm done with this, nothing will stop me from dating and having sex like everybody else, without turning to prostitutes as first, one and only resort".

During that month (and a few weeks previous to surgery), I met a couple of girls at the place I study. Nice, pretty girls. And hot.

I knew I had to wait until I could ask anyone of them out. I hadn't been dating for very long (and when I did, it wasn't that often). I was more than rusty. "But who cares?", I told to myself. "I might be rusty, but soon I'll be free from what really impeded me from getting to know someone".

Yet, I was aware that I should take things slowly. Baby steps. I would have been happy if I could only relief myself, for starters: erections become more and more frecuent, and I wasn't sure how long I could resist edging (and only edgind) whlist looking at porn. (At the end of my post-op, I would reward myself with that kind of "license").

Exactly one month after the surgery, my urologist discharged me and gave me green light to resume sexual activity.

And that's when I started to freak out.

It was Saturday night. I put some porn videos. I got hard right away. At its full. Honestly, I hadn't got that hard so fast in my whole life, except when I took Viagra. I started to jerk off. It felt so good. But something was wrong. I just wasn't in the mood.

I had one of the most intense orgasms ever. But I couldn't help that "Is this it?" kind of feeling.

I could have not only watch porn. I could have called any of those girls I met and asked them out. Not for sex, obviously, but for the sake of just hanging out. And eventually making out. Who knows? I was foreskin free, I had any more excuses to avoid the slightiest "risk" of intimacy.

But I didn't feel like it. And I still don't. And it kind of worries me. It worries the hell out of me, to be sincere.

For the first time in my life, I feel happy with my body. I like it. I love it. I'm proud of my penis, something that never happened to me before. All the opposite, actually. Still, it's like I didn't get used to it yet. When I was masturbated, I had the impression of being jerking off someone else. It was some sort of "estrangement" state. I wonder if that's normal. It's like having got a transplant. Maybe it's just a matter of time until I recognize my "new" penis as mine.

I'm not so anxious about it.

What I am indeed anxious about is my sex drive, or call it whatever you prefer. I suddenly lack the urge of "catching up" and living out my "wildest fantasies" (ok, I'm exaggerating, but it's totally intentional, hence I wrote it in quotations). Now seriously, I'm freaking out. Now that I have the body I always wanted, now that I'm free to do whatever I ever wanted to do (and wasn't able to do) in the past... I don't feel like it. What's wrong with me?

Could somebody please tell me something?
I'll appreciate any input.

I didn't open this thread in the men-focused area, since I'll be thankful with both male and female points of view.

By now, at least, just thank you for reading.
And sorry for any grammar or spelling mistake.

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm not really an expert by any means in what could be causing that. However I have heard that low testosterone can cause a decrease in sexual libido. You might try checking into that.

I hope that helps some.

I personally was circumcised at 29, and that was 15 years ago. Never regretted it. I agree that I personally love my penis now, more than I ever did before.

I do understand that you have had a major change in your life. Everything about your penis and your sex life has changed. The feelings have changed, the emotions, the looks, your attitude. But it has really only been a month since this all happened. It's not going to feel "right" for a while...not until you find your new "right", and become comfortable with it.

Now I know it's off your topic a bit, but I injured my back and I have been slowly losing sensations in various parts of my lower body. This includes my penis. Over the past 3 years, I have lost the feeling of touch, temperature and wetness. Those are like the core feelings for a penis. But after talking to my doctors, therapist, and taking Viagra, I am finally working to accept the new status quo and trying to find a way to make sex work again. I personally know what I had before and I want it back, but you didn't want what you had and now you have something new, but don't know it that is "it".

My recommendation is take it slow, be patient. I personally think that your current blockage is just because you are overthinking it. You're putting too much pressure on yourself.

I hope this helps.

I'm not looking for an expert's opinion, but someone's who can relate.
Thank you for your reply. Probably, there would be something hormonal involved.
Stress can screw up your testosterone balance, as far as I know. And I happen to have been under a lot of stress lately, not only due to the whole struggle of both surgery and post-op, but also due to my job. Or ex-job, if you know what I mean.

Your input is anything but off-topic. So don't apologize.
And of course it helps. Any change in your body (be it a surgery, an accident, anything) might be serious enough to change, also, the way you experience your own sexuality. Maybe it's just a matter of time, yes. I've been pretty anxious all my life, why would I change now? lol Just kidding. But sure, I'm the "I want to see results and I want to see them right now" kind of guy. And it's been only one month since the surgery, and barely a week since I'm stitch-free. So...

I agree. I'm overthinking it. I'm so very aware most of the time of my brand-new state. But it feels weird, though, not to feel attracted to anyone... My biggest fear is that, even with my foreskin removed, I kept avoiding intimacy and human contact.

It could also be that the "mechanical feel" of sex was more about the actual sex... If that doesn't make sense, bear with me.

This far, you have only had sex with prostitutes. I will leave my own views on prostitution out of this post as they would not be in any way constructive to you, so that's a debate we should take elsewhere. But, your sexual experience is, therefore, masturbation and self-release (mostly by visual stimulation like porn) and going to prostitutes.

Maybe the problem is what kind of sex you've had. You've had sex that's just sex, just the "mechanics" of it, just release-driven. Sex is an instinct and release is a chemical reaction, sure, but sex is more. Personally, I didn't really start enjoying sex before it became intimate. I had casual sex for almost two years after losing my virginity and I was good, sure, I got the sexual release I wanted, no strings attached, etc. I was on to my friends about how it was great and being single was perfect.

Since I first had sex with someone that was about MORE than just a release, just an orgasm, I never looked back. I thought people were overreacting, trying to sell the cultural concept of monogamy or "sex with feelings" or at least with some sort of interest. But oh my, it's so much better. Sex feels better when you're with a partner who doesn't necessarily care about you, but who see you as more than a tool to get a release. Someone who explores your body, who is creative, who enjoys sex not just in terms of release. Someone who turns you on and interests you.

To put this now rather long post shortly: You have only had impersonal sex. It's not so weird, as you've had complexes, but it might explain why you don't want sex that much. You can get the release on your own. But to truly feel sexually fulfilled, and to get your sex drive working properly, the best method is to stop thinking about sex as just something you do that leads to orgasm and start thinking of sex as a way to get to know another person on a whole new level, as a way to get your body to experience stuff like you never imagined. Not necessarily a girlfriend or someone you want to get serious with, but it has to be someone you feel a connection and a spark with. It could be a friend, a collegue, someone you've just talked to a couple of times who you like. Then it becomes something else than sex with a prostitute, for them it's a job and their goal is to get you to come, it's what gives them money. Sex is not just a "technical" thing, and that might be the issue for you.

Just WOW!
That's some food for thought.

You've left me speechless.
And now I feel kind of lost. Not that you caused it, of course. But seeing things that way put me in a "square one" situation, if you know what I mean.
And that sucks. So... Should I learn from the very start how to connect with someone? Who's going to be that patient? I always looked for someone who wouldn't not judge me for my complex, and found nobody (and the few people I've been in a relationship with were... not so nice people). Now I have to look for someone who seems patient and tolerant enough about my new state? Being that way, I can't help still feeling like some kind of cripple who is not allowed to be with anybody, unless they have some kind of "good samaritan" complex, which is rare and, given the chance, unable to predict.

Am I really that screwed up? I mean... I'm affraid of knowing someone (and there are a couple in view) and being turned down by them once we have intimacy, because of not being used to my own body. Sorry, I'm not being as clear as I'd wish. What if, now that I'm circumcised, I ejaculate too soon or I don't get a decent erection (due to anxiety or fear of hurting, etc), and they leave me because of that? I couldn't stand it again! It happened to me before (although it was a whole different case scenario: foreskin complex, the unsensitivity factor, etc).

Thank you once again. That was some mindblowing input.

I had a relationship with a gentleman with the same condition as yourself, we were together before and after he had his circumcision

It took him and me quite a while to adapt to the new organ, it was more an emotional thing for my partner. He had been a late starter and because of his problem had resigned himself to being unable to have a wife and children. It was only at my suggestion he actually went to the Doctor.

I guess I am saying is give your mind time to adjust to your new and exciting future, before your operations your body was probably frustrated at not be able to full erect your penis, but now it is doing it you're fulfilled; not sexual fulfillment but more to do with feeling like a complete man.

Just give yourself time

Thanks!

I don't think you're screwed up at all. It is natural to feel insecure about sex. Everyone does, even the most experienced ones. I worry: Does my face look weird? Does he think I'm fat? What if my vagina is abnormal in any way? Will he still want me if I forget to shave? All rather silly things, but I still consider them. Not WHILE having sex, then you sort of get lost in the moment, but before, etc. It's normal to feel insecure.

And your fears are inhibiting you. Even if you ejaculated too soon or something like that, it would not be the end of the world. Most women would be nice about it, knowing it's a sensitive thing for a guy, and not go around telling people or making fun of you. But if you are very worried, you could also tell her it before you have sex, that you just got circumcised and you have noticed that it sometimes make you ejaculate earlier etc., just as a warning. Depends on how well you know each other/connect, though.

Building sexual confidence takes time, and we all make mistakes and learn over time. The woman you eventually sleep with will have made mistakes or had bed sex too, you're not the only one. You have to practice to get better, you have to get over the insecurities.

I'm glad to read this.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you can (sort of) relate, at least through your ex.
Would you let me, please, send you a mp? Just to ask you a few things in particular without taking my own thread off topic.


Truth be told: I've masturbated only once so far since my urologist allowed me to.
And it felt sooo very good, but a little strange. It seems it's quite soon for worrying about sleeping with anyone, when I've hardly got used to my "new" organ. Looking myself in the mirror still seems quite odd. (I must insist, though: I'm so very happy with the results, aesthetically for starters).

I guess I should give myself a break and stop trying to rush things. Since I've been stitch free (i.e., barely eight days so far), wherever a girl talks to me, I feel somehow obliged to "do something", be it ask her out or whatever leads to get in bed with her. Obviously, I'm unable to catch up with such (unreal, I "know") expectations. The worst part is that I end beating myself up for "wasting such opportunities". Of course I'm putting myself under an insane amount of pressure. I just don't know how to make it stop and cut myself some slack.

I feel like if I was 14 again. And it has its pros... and cons, I guess.

It...had stitches? There??

You, my good sir, have a higher tolerance than I will ever hope to achieve.

Now to business...firstly, don't worry about it feeling strange at the moment. You've had this for the better part of 30 years now, correct? It's naturally going to feel a little strange after being corrected. I used to sport a small, benign bone tumor on my right wrist...little sensitive bump that I had to keep in mind at all times (it wasn't anything serious, but bumping that little sucker HURT). Once it was gone, and my wrist sort of...lol matched...the other one, it felt infinitely weirder than having to explain the tumor over and over again. Give it a little time, and it'll become more natural.

Secondly, don't beat yourself up over "wasted opportunities." They're hardly wasted. You're young my friend...lol you're in no rush for time. So relax...focus less on it, and it'll come easier. As far as the diminished drive goes, again, don't stress yourself out too much. Ironically, the more you worry about it, typically the harder it becomes (no pun intended ). Think of it like this. You're worried about your sex drive, increasing your stress. Your increased stress takes you out of the mood. By being out of the mood, you're stressed...see the cycle? Give yourself some time for things to even out, and I trust things will be just fine.

Lastly, I should say, your English is excellent for being your second language.

Good luck bud. Take it easy, and try and relax. Things'll be just fine.

My best,
Harley

My son had horrible phimosis, too, and after conservative treatments failed, I had a urologist circumcise him.

He was 10 years old.

So my question is - why did YOU wait that long? Is it because you are in Argentina and the circumcision is not common there?

When I brought my son to a urologist, in California, the urologist bluntly told me that the case was horrible and should have long been dealt with surgically, and I had to explain that we are Russians so circumcision is kind of a last resort measure which is why baths and creams had been tried. In the US, circumcision used to be widely prevalent, now is not so prevalent but prevalent enough to not be considered a last resort measure. But I felt very guilty for causing my son unnecessary pain by insisting on finding a non-surgical solution.

But he was a child so he was incapable of helping himself. I assume that the age of majority in Argentina is 18 give or take. So for over 10 years you were basically causing pain to yourself. Why?

I second Harley complimenting your English - the only reason I looked up your country of residence was to try to explain what in the US would be outright weird - why did you wait for that long?

I know people who underwent adult circumcision for religious reasons, and they all do fine in the end. The initial reaction wears off. You will be fine. However, those people I know did not have phimosis so they had good sexual experiences before the procedure. So maybe I should not have even brought up those examples since they are irrelevant. Well, the fact that people who have undergone adult circumcision is still good to know - right?

The reason I am asking why - why did you wait so long - is because this is highly unusual and might shed some light on a psychological issue that, in turn, would be relevant to your current state of mind.

At any rate, I have looked up life expectancy for males in Argentina.

76 years.

Not too bad, I'd say.

I have also looked up (I like data more than just talking) the age of sexual debut among males in Argentina. It is between 17 and 18 years.

So you are now 29.

You have "missed" about 11 years of sexual activity outside of the world of commercially procured sex.

Ahead of you are 47 years during which you can engage in sexual activity that is not being commercially procured.

What would you rather focus on - the missed 11 years or the future 47 years?

I was just about to post a PS congratulating you on your new member, when I noticed that PsychCentral calls you a new member.



TryingStill
New Member
TryingStill has no updates.

Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina
Posts: 9

***

That ought to be a lucky coincidence!

Hi, Harley.
Thank you for your reply and such encouraging words!

I've dealt so much better with the post-op than with the anxiety it brought.
As I already pointed out (or, at least, I think I did, sorry), I feel tremendously anxious about getting in the game again. Or for the first time, actually, since my previous sexual and romantic experiences were troubled by my own complex around my foreskin.

Anyway, I think it's just a matter of time, just like you said.

Hi.
I've never been diagnosed officially with phimosis, although I could tell by myself that something was wrong.

It freaked me out when I started watching porn. Male actors looked different than me. And I'm not talking about size. Size, even when I'm rather average, never bothered me. It was what it looked like what made me feel bad during all these years.

I recall feeling so scared when I read the instructions for putting on a condom for the first time in my life. It said that you had to have your penis hard and with its foreskin pulled back. And I was unable to do that! I felt not only like if there was something wrong with me, but also that being that way would kept me from having sexual intercourse.

I avoided seeing an urologist for many years. I knew that I had to solve that problem. But I was so scared to do anything. I was literarily paralyzed by fear. It wasn't until I started to having problems with my erections that I went to my urologist. He prescribed me Viagra, as I already told, although he insisted with getting myself a circumcision. Finally, I made up my mind on June this year, when that situation became unbearable.

Right now, I feel terribly lost.

I'm so confused about sex. Ok, I should give it a rest and let it figure out by itself. But sometimes I just can't let go.

I won't start a debate about prostitution. Specially when I'm aware that that's not the way to go. I won't lie: I have sexual urges. But I don't know what to do with them. Masturbation being circumcised feels a million times better than before, with a foreskin. But it's not enough. I crave the touch and the warmth of another human being. Problem is: I don't realize exactly how to make it work out.

Since my urologist told me that I could resume my sexual activities, I registered in one of those online dating sites. I met several people (not too many) there in the past. And please, don't get me wrong, I don't mean to be rude... But I always felt like I was playing way below my league.

I won't neither start a debate about the "league system".

And please, I don't mean to offend anybody with this. But the mere fact of signing up at online dating is a sympthom of desperation. It always seemed to me the place were the leftovers of the dating pool end up altogether, myself included.

But that's just a part. In the past, I would only talk to girls and women who looked like they weren't within their rights to ask for so much. Mind you, a guy in his late twenties, lacking sexual experience, with erection problems and an unretractable foreskin: I wasn't within my rights to ask for so much, either. In those cases, sex wasn't enjoyable (firstly, due to my own physical problems, but also because I was getting laid with someone I could barely find attractive).

Now, my foreskin is not there anymore to make me feel ashamed. But what should I do? I'm not used to go for the girl/woman I really find attractive.

Besides my complex, I'm not what you could call a shy kind of person. I'm respectful and very polite. But not timid. Yet, if I run into a girl/woman that looks hot to me, I get blocked. Immedatly I become cold and distant. Back in the day, in that kind of situation, I would tell myself: "Forget it, you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of that girl/woman with that ugly penis that can barely get hard, she will freak out when she finds out that your glans can't be exposed and stimulated, and sex will be awful and she will dump you right away". Nowadays (although it's soon to feel myself familiar with my new penis), I tell myself: "Yes, your foreskin is gone and you look gorgeous when you're naked, she will surely love the shape of your penis, but remember you don't have so much experience, and to be honest, you are practically handling someone else's penis, so chances are that you won't be able to figure out how to please her, instead you should practice with, you know, that kind of girls and women you used to talk to at dating sites, so that if things go wrong, you won't regret it so much".

It seems that I'm stucked in a loop-hole.
And I'm unable to break the cycle.

And I'm aware that I'm facing things with the wrong frame of mind.
I'm thinking of sex as a test, as a duty, as a trainning, as a challenge, as a result in and on itself. I'm thinking not in terms of intimacy, but in terms of "checking out that my penis functions correctly", like it was a machine. Like I was a machine.

God, I feel so exhausted.


Thank you!

I would go back to prostitutes to have an experience with the uncircumcised penis but in a familiar setting. I mean - you are paying them, you are not raping them, so it is a fair exchange. You have two new things going in your life: your penis is basically brand new, and you want to have sex without paying for it.

Would it be smarter to do it one step at a time - first, build up confidence having (presumably safe, right?) sex with prostitutes. Having built up the confidence, start trying to find a female partner.

I do not know much about the range of services offered by prostitutes, but someone on here reported how caring the prostitutes were and how very educational the sessions with them were. They taught that young man many things and acted to remove what you call "complexes".

Now, this was reported on here and I do not know to what extent it was true, but it won't hurt to ask especially given that it won't be your first visit so you know the milieu and are oriented to it.

There is also what is called a confounding effect. you are analyzing your issues now and you have many "maybes" - maybe it is lack of experience, maybe it is this, but no you are not timid, etc. So if you deal with your maybes one by one, it will be easier to finally pinpoint the source of the trouble.

I know that this is totally now what I would recommend to most people. And I am kind of surprised to even be thinking this way. But I agree with Hamster. Going back to a prostitute might not be such a bad idea. I don't know whether you see the same prostitute, several different ones or just what ever one is available in the time frame you are looking for.

If you have a prostitute you see regularly then maybe start there (or one of the few you are a regular client of) If you could see one that you had sex with before that would be a huge help. You may could ask for a comparison of now versus a before surgery. That could be an excellent way to boost your confidence level and get an idea of how it will feel in a fairly safe environment rather then having a first time with someone you are dating.

If you are dating someone at the moment, then please don't go to a prostitute. That is a sure way to hurt someone else and end a relationship.

Hi, and thank you both.

Not that I mean to just be contrary, but escorts became sooo very expensive compared to this same time last year. And I'm unemployed. And there was one of them I was very fond of, probably the person I felt more confident with ever. But I don't know where she is now. I wasn't able to track her down, which makes me think she's given up the business.

This morning, I woke up with such a strange feeling, like a pressure on my chest. Not precisely a panic attack (something I'm familiar with, and I can tell when it is as such), but a huge amount of anxiety. I'm freaking out for not knowing the future and what's it's going to be. I feel not the need but the urge to be with somebody, I crave the touch of another human being's skin and flesh. And I'm affraid that following that desperation will lead to major mistakes.

I don't want to rush things, of course. But it's like they'd not only removed my penis' foreskin, but also some kind of metaphorical skin that was covering up my heart. My glans feels highly sensitive (and sometimes uncomfortable), and my heart feels highly sensitive (and sometimes uncomfortable) too. And I feel like falling in love with almost every girl I run into, which, from a pragmatic angle, is impossible. And I beat myself up over not having asked anyone of them out, and that's when I see myself as a failure and finally getting along with someone as something so very far away in the future.

Sorry, I'm just being pathetic.

----------------------------

Hi. I'm back, with a little update.

So... Last week I started chatting with this girl at a online dating site.
I told her about my surgery. She invited me over her place today. Which was weird, since we hardly talked through both chat and phone.

I'll abstain myself from any judgement in terms of attractiveness. I'm just thankful for her patience.

Well, what can I say? It was ok. I mean... As I said before, the mechanical aspect was surprisingly good. I know it might sound strange to you but, for the first time ever, I felt my penis was working as it is meant to work naturaly. The first attempot, I came to quickly, before finding the vagina (yes, I tend to get nervous when I try to stick it by myself). But after a while, while talking about random stuff, I started to get hard, out of the blue, and even harder than minutes ago. She sat over me and rode me. And that was when I felt really ok. Having a circumcised penis definitely feels better than suffering from phimosis, needless to say.

I guess it could have felt more intense, though. But there was no romantic vibe whatsoever involved, so... The experience was kind of devoid from emotions, except for those related to my complex and issues surrounding my penis. I defeated one of my biggest fears, and I'm happy for that, but it had nothing to do with having intimacy with this girl.

On the other hand, it's not that I feel guilty, but I feel kind of crappy for having had sex just to check if my penis could do better than before the operation. It was like using a person for my own benefit. It's something that I wouldn't do again.

Now, at least, I feel more relieved. I don't suffer from ED anymore (I came to soon the first time, yes, but it was due only to my own anxiety), my erections are harder and last longer, and I don't hurt as I expected: actually, my penis feels awesome!

I think it's time to move on, finally. From here on out, I shouldn't worry about my penis again. Maybe this sounds so obvious, too, but today I caught a glimpse of how things really are. I mean... Penetration in and on itself is no big deal. It's not the most relevant aspect to sex. I don't regret what I did this afternoon, but I realized how important it's to have a connection with the other person. And kissing and hugging and caressing are way more important than I thought. Not to mention sharing something special, outside the bed.

So, now I'm tired and I need some sleep. I have a lot in my mind now to process, and I'm not able yet to put it in words.

Please, if you're still there, I'd like to share with all of you some of the thoughts that might pop up anytime soon.

Thank you for reading.
And thanks to Big Mama and hamster-bamster for their hugs!
I haven't noticed that feature until now!

You shouldn't feel guilty for having sex to "check out your penis". Most people have sex just for their own pleasure. You were obviously honest with this woman about your past issues, so there was no deception.

I agree, you should be able to move on in your personal development and work on finding someone to have a relationship with...which at some point and time in the future would lead to sexual relations. You should be happy to know that it is possible to have a fulfilling relation with someone that doesn't involve sex. When that relationship develops to the point that you both want sex, you will be able to be confident that your penis is up to the task and that you have a strong emotional link to make that mechanical act of sex into a wonderful shared experience.

Good luck!

I am so happy for you. I agree with bixkf. You did nothing wrong. There was no deception involved. Just a nice girl helping a nice guy get some much needed answers. No harm done.

I am glad you found the answers you were looking for. I wish you the best of luck in the future. You know if you have any questions this is a great place to come to. I am sure you are welcome to PM any number of us. I know if you need to talk privately you may contact me threw PM. I would be happy to help any way possible. Take are.

Thank you both!

I guess that kind of "guilt" is something I should work on.
Other than that, I don't have anything else to add regarding circumcision.

What I've been thinking of are a few other questions around sex. I'll probably create a new thread to ask about them. Leaving this one could be as well a way of moving on.

And of course I'll pm anyone of you if I need to. Thank you Big Mama for that offer. So kind of you!

I want to thank, once again, all of you who passed by this thread and gave me your support

Cheers!