Random question about sex, sorry

Sorry, embarrassing ramblings about sex and orgasms......

I've written before about having had problems getting there recently when I have foreplay with o.h. I spoke to my t and she said it was prob to do with bringing up stuff in therapy about past SA.
We've (me and s.o.,not me and t sadly) been trying to get there without putting the pressure on, o.h. is v sweet about it...I can sometimes get there on my own.

So, I read a bit about orgasms online....and got a bit of a shock!
I have had a good sex life with o.h. for years, and normally always climax, at least once.
However, not the way people were describing it. Ie all over their body, backs arching, legs going etc....I know this isn't all the time, and I know that the Internet doesn't give a real life picture...but I've never experienced that. I know when I have come, and I definitely do, but it feels much. More mechanical somehow than these descriptions, and certainly not all over my body, or even outside the zone iykwim.
Sorry, I know this is off tangent, but I feel worried about it. I have issues really giving myself over during sex, always have to have my face covered to come etc...sorry to be so graphic. I wonder now if I have ever just let myself go.
I think the answer is no

What is an 'o.h.'? What is an 's.o.'?

It's a reflex and I don't think you have control over it. Therefore, there is no right or wrong way about it, it's just how your body reacts and it just happens. That's part of the undeserved shame abuse survivors suffer if their bodies reacted, which was something they couldn't control (just like the abuse was something they couldn't control).

If by "give [your]self over" you mean be totally in the moment without any self-consciousness, then yeah I think it would make a difference for you. IDK if your orgasms would be more intense or frequent but I'd bet you'd overall hve a better time. I think a little weed or alcohol can be really helpful with this. (And I mean a little, not so that you're totally drunk/high, jut enough to loosen your inhibitions.)

I've never heard of this back arching, leg quivering stuff, it doesn't happen to me, and I'm sure I have normal ones.

There's no right or wrong way to have an orgasm. Mine aren't typically full body either, I hardly have time these days! But if you want a more sensual full-body experience, is your partner caressing you everywhere? A foot massage is good for opening up your senses. Massage oil used all over will also accentuate sensation throughout your body that will heighten the sensation when you orgasm. Being kissed everywhere can have similar effects. And do you spend lots of time on foreplay? All those things can help increase pleasure throughout.

Preach it.

It's the truth, though. There's no wrong way to experience pleasure, if it's making you contented. It's like saying there's a wrong way to eat ice cream.

I also think there can be a social pressure on women to be flamboyantly orgasmic. Squirting (sorry if this is too crude) is another example of this - the attitude that squirting is somehow more indicative of a successful orgasm than not doing so.

Bullsh#t. Your whole body does not have to be a shooting star of orgasmic bliss or spraying your juices three feet in the air in order for you to be happy and fulfilled sexually.

Well, THAT is a keeper. Am filing away for future use.

I'm no expert, at all, but it does seem like SA would definitely inhibit your responses. You might dissociate while having sex and it might cause a very dulled response, not just while you're talking about the SA, but always. Once you work through it, your sex life might be much more engaging and satisfying to you.

The full body ones aren't always what they're cracked up to be, especially, during legs elevating, one gets a calf cramp!

an s.o. is significant other. idk what an o.h. is.

i have different types of orgasms. sometimes they are all over and the stars come out to play, but those are rarer. i tend to have mid-level ones multiple times if that makes sense.

if you feel satisfied tho, that's what matters.

O.h. Other half.
Thanks for this everyone.
The massage idea sounds good, I will try that. Glad to know everyone is not squirting around everywhere then. Though the stars sound lovely, Nowhere.....