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OCDToOvercome
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Trig Sep 07, 2014 at 11:32 PM
  #1
Let me start off by saying that I'm typically a very open-minded person. I don't judge consenting adults for participating in sexual behaviors that are considered more taboo, as long as everyone involved is, again, a consenting adult. And when it comes to porn, I don't judge people for watching it, as long as it's legal porn.

Now, despite this being my opinion, my anxiety issues are causing me to over-think my boyfriend's interest in hentai.

I've had issues with POCD in the past, and now I'm currently having issues with ROCD. So even though I KNOW my boyfriend is a good person, that irrational part of my brain is constantly like, "he's a bad person for this reason! Or that reason!" etc. For more background, my boyfriend is almost 19, and I'm 20.

Here's why his interest in hentai has been worrying me:

Even though in the US it is illegal in cartoon porn to depict anyone under 18... hentai characters, and adult anime characters in general, are often very young looking. So even if the body depicted is an adult's body, the face might look very young. So in this sense, hentai just feels... wrong to me.

Now, I KNOW that my boyfriend is not attracted to children. And I also know that he stays away from the "young" category (which is supposed to depict people in the 18-21 age range, similar to how regular porn sites will have a "teen" category, which just thinking about makes me extremely uncomfortable) But does the young-looking nature of hentai characters in general make it wrong? Is it wrong for him to be into hentai?

I know my boyfriend's a good person who would never hurt anyone. But this is causing me a lot of anxiety, even though I've talked to him about it.

And I know that there are issues in anime regarding the sexualization of younger persons... It's not an infrequent controversy. Which makes anime in general make me uncomfortable, even though my boyfriend loves anime, and so do a TON of my friends. Rationally I try to tell myself, just because there have been some animes that have been morally questionable, that doesn't mean ALL anime is that way. But it seems a to be a commonly cited problem...

Anyway, what are peoples' opinions?
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ifst5
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Default Sep 08, 2014 at 06:12 PM
  #2
I wouldn't say Hentai characters look young - more like petite. It would never have occurred to me that the cartoons could possibly be depicting underage characters. I suppose there are people who would argue there are more obvious issues with Hentai - like beastiality, incest, rape, etc etc. but it can't all be tarred with the same brush in the same way that regular porn can't. Have you actually seen the particular videos he's watching? Maybe that would put your mind at ease but if you already know there's nothing exactly wrong with what he's doing then I guess you just have to accept that it's none of your business and deal with any residual feelings you have independently. All the best.
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kaliope
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Default Sep 08, 2014 at 06:44 PM
  #3
I don't see anything wrong with your bf watching hentai if it is anime he is into. I know nothing about porn so maybe I am being ignorant, even if it fell into the young (18-21) category why would it be considered bad.......he is 19.....this is his own age group? he is hardly being a predator which I would consider a 30-40 year old man watching this age group.

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Velouria
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Default Sep 08, 2014 at 08:19 PM
  #4
Hentai is fine. I love Hentai (31, f). I am not into children. There's nothing to worry about.

I also love anime. Again, not into children. Nothing to worry about.

Something I find odd is this: what's wrong with him watching porn with women who are actually in your age range?

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Latuda, 40mg -- for the paranoia (delusional type).
Adderall, 40mg XR & 5 mg reg -- for the ADD.
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Topamax, 50mg -- still figuring this one out.

MDD, but possibly have some form of Bipolar Disorder. Then again, I could be paranoid . . .

Well, at least I still have my sense of humor.
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growlycat
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Default Sep 09, 2014 at 12:11 AM
  #5
(I'm a graphic artist so I am biased….)

Hentai is just cartoons/illustrations/anime/comics….other than voiceover work, no actual human beings are involved. Just drawings. I think that any art is protected under the first amendment, I've never heard of illustrated images being "illegal".

Photography is treated differently because actual people are involved. So unless you are amazing at photoshopping adults into kids, then photo porn of the underage IS illegal.

As long as your BF has a firm grasp of reality vs fantasy I think you are fine. I don't like the underage/rape/violence/tentacle sex aspect of Hentai either but as long as he has a healthy life in general, I don't see a problem with a kink.
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