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Old 02-21-2007, 02:25 PM #1
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Default what do YOU MEN say?

-about girls who are easily convinced to sleep with you?

second q?

- how do you feel about girls who are HARD to get?
when i had a boyfriend, i let him kiss me only after a month we were going out... is it ocnsidered as "hard to get"?
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Old 02-21-2007, 03:53 PM #2
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

I say it is keeping your self respect. wish more of us women were like that! you go girl!
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Old 02-21-2007, 04:35 PM #3
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

first question:

slut.

but then think about how it goes for guys:

stud.

spot the double standard?

second question:

i've heard 'hold out'.

but then...

it isn't about what other people say about you so much as how you feel about yourself - isn't it?

and anybody who is going to be calling you names and disrespecting you (one way or the other) isn't really worth it surely...

(for what it is worth)
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Old 02-21-2007, 04:44 PM #4
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

Grrrr double standards.
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Old 02-21-2007, 05:33 PM #5
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

ok, granted, I am not a man, but I don't agree with the 'self-respect' part, bebop.

I didn't wait a month before kissing my husband and I have plenty of self-respect.

I wouldn't want to perpetuate the double-standard and the stereotype by judging women who 'wait' as being better than those who don't.

Just my 2c

I'll bow out now, and leave the rest of the answering to the guys...
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Old 02-21-2007, 06:38 PM #6
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

i'll post just one more and then i'll bow out...

i guess i just wanted to say that maybe... how guys respond 'in general' really isn't as important as how your guy responds. because maybe you aren't really so interested in how guys think 'in general' so much as you are interested in what your guy thinks of you?

i've heard it said that it is much harder to respect someone who doesn't have self-respect. i try and respect everyone, but i do get that there is some truth to this. i think that what it is about is assessing what seems right to you. sometimes that involves learning the hard way (waiting longer than was right for you, not waiting until it was right for you). i think there might well be some truth to the notion that it is better to wait too long than not wait long enough (with respect to harm to self).

but maybe you really are interested in general opinion...

it will be interesting to hear what the guys have to say
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Old 02-21-2007, 07:00 PM #7
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

what do YOU MEN say? Alexandra_K!

K, enough outta me. Guys?
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Old 02-21-2007, 07:18 PM #8
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

before i write anything, i just want you all to know that these are not my views.......... they are the views of some of my old friends (now gone away) i will try to word it as they might of worded it ..............but please dont shoot the messenger

girls who are easily convinced to sleep with you?
(views of others not me) wahey easy lay OR slapper


girls who are HARD to get? (again views of others not me) tight OR fridge-ed (snow queen)

i would just like to point out that those views are from the same old friends that stopped coming around when i became ill, the same friends who would rather walk the other way rather then speak to or be seen with anyone with a mental health problem, so when i say "old friends" what i mean is people who have let me down the most.
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Old 02-21-2007, 07:48 PM #9
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?

(((((((((((((therealme)))))))))))

damned if you do and damned if you don't...

(i guess the notion is that a girl should put out for them and nobody else. if a girl doesn't put out for them then she is a 'hold-out' or is 'frigid'. if a girl puts out for others - as well as them - then she is a 'slut' or a 'pro' or whatever)

(female exclusivity is important to guys - evolutionary explanation seems relevant here where a guy doesn't want to spend scarce resources on raising another mans child. a lot of research has been done on 'female promiscuity' - why 'promiscuity'? - , however, and in a lot of the animals we thought were in an exclusive mating pair the females went on a 'best genes' hunt when the male was out of sight ;-). makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. the males that are the best providers might well not be the males that are most virile. the best strategy is for the provider male to think you are faithful so he provides resources but to go on a best genes hunt when he isn't looking. there is some stuff on the function of 'romantic love' being to motivate adultery (rather than long term pair bond) as the cost of being found out is high (could get beaten up and / or exiled).

but in these days of birth control and with our developed frontal lobes etc etc... we have the capacity to transcend our evolutionary selected urges...

i do think this stuff is rather cool though ;-)

(i know i promised to shut up... but i'm not preventing others from posting so... oh well)
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Old 02-21-2007, 08:02 PM #10
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Default Re: what do YOU MEN say?



well i'm a woman and i say way to go therealme. no-one has the right to judge anyone else.

love, jinnyann xxxx
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