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Old 02-23-2007, 03:01 PM #11
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

I was spanked.... but was more often threatened..... threatened that I would be belted and other stuff Childhood spanking and sexual development


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Old 02-23-2007, 03:09 PM #12
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

Rhapsody,

Thank you so much for your kind post!!! This is a very difficult topic for me to bring up (one I'm way too ashamed to discuss in real life), but I do want other people to be aware of it. I definitely got all mixed up about sexuality and attribute that back to the corporal punishment. I suspect that when kids are really young it's not likely to be anything other than what it's supposed to be (a deterrent or whatever). But once sexual development begins, any kind of intense experience (punishment/watching others be punished) could probably somehow get tied into sexuality. That's why the practice scares me. I have felt the lack of intimacy that can be a result of a deviant sexual relationship (I'm not suggesting that all deviance is bad, but when it gets to be way more than a "spice" it can be detrimental I think!).

Thanks for listening,
Sidony

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Old 02-23-2007, 03:11 PM #13
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

Rhapsody,

I say this because it was in addition to other acitivies (temperature-taking, enemas) and because of the manner it was done: clothing angrily yanked down, forced to bend over her lap, sometimes an obect was used like a hairbrush, done in front of other people, and with delight.

There is a difference between something like this and a swift swat to a clothed child who might be, for example, insisting on running out into the street and endangering themeselves.

Spanking serves the adult; it is easy, quick, and resolves the adult's anger and reinforces in the adult the illusion that they are in control.

Not judging anyone about it. Just saying where I'm coming from.

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Old 02-23-2007, 03:18 PM #14
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I to offer you my respect for being brave enough to come forth to talk about such a painful experience.... and I now understand your POV as well..... while I was not spank in a sexual way I was violated by men that were addicted to sick perverted porn, therefore, me - the little child became their play toy, their experiment to see how it really felt to do the things their eyes beheld in adult magazines and movies. Childhood spanking and sexual development


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Old 02-23-2007, 03:25 PM #15
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

((HUGS)) to you Rhapsody.

I "graduated" to that and other abuse.

Meant to be alone I guess.

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Old 02-23-2007, 03:41 PM #16
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

((( Sidony )))))

Thank you for feeling comfortable enough here to bring up your topic. It's important to be able to share our feelings with others, and I'm glad you have been able to do this. Please do not regret your questions!!!!

THANKS to everyone for this thread. It is staying very much a healthy discussion and it is wonderful to see all the support. =)

~Rayna

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Old 02-23-2007, 04:14 PM #17
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
I say this because it was in addition to other acitivies (temperature-taking, enemas) and because of the manner it was done: clothing angrily yanked down, forced to bend over her lap, sometimes an obect was used like a hairbrush, done in front of other people, and with delight.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm so sorry that happened. It definitely sounds like someone was taking a sadistic pleasure in that. That's a terrible scenario. Whether or not it affected your sexuality, it sounds like they may have been getting some undue pleasure out of it! That's horrible!

Note that all the items (hairbrushes, paddles, etc.) that are associated with childhood discipline are always for sale in sex shops. Yet people don't seem to talk about how they got connected to sex.

Sid

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Old 02-23-2007, 04:18 PM #18
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Rhapsody said:
((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I was violated by men that were addicted to sick perverted porn, therefore, me - the little child became their play toy, their experiment to see how it really felt to do the things their eyes beheld in adult magazines and movies. Childhood spanking and sexual development


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm so sorry to hear this!!!!!!! There is so much cruelty out there. :-( I feel terrible that this happened to you.

Sidony

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Old 02-23-2007, 06:19 PM #19
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

(((Group Hug for whomever is OK with it)))

Yes, I wasn't sure if I should, but i was going to add to my previous post that if spanking is not sexual in nature then it is curious that it is part of the porn world. ...Don't see many porn things related to 'time outs', an alternative to spanking/hitting.

Did it affect my sexuality? I don't know honestly. But that might depend on who the abuser is, I'm thinking. However, it definitely sets the person up for further abuse and a warped sense of self. Here's an interesting site about survivors of..

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communit.../survivors.htm

It's complicated, I think. Which is why it is useful to get help with it. Took me many years but finally I am.

Best wishes to all,

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Old 02-24-2007, 12:04 AM #20
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Default Re: Childhood spanking and sexual development

I've been reconsidering my stance on spanking for a while now. I used to be for it, but I also see the point of using violence to teach non-violence isn't logical. I have seen non-spanking and non-violent ways of disciplining children that seem to work, but I'd need to know more long-term results. I'm fully aware those nanny shows are set up in some scenes (like, I believe people are told to confront other people at specific times, rather than on their own, for the cameras), but I'd like to know if the parents stuck with the nanny's advice, done the way she instructed, and if it continued to work. These shows aren't the only source of non-violent disciplining I'm going by; I've been re-thinking spanking since before that, but I'm mentioning them as an example others here might relate to.

A family member of mine had a brother-and-sister living with her and her husband (they weren't blood-related to her, but to her husband, and had been poorly parented and shuffled around). While they did love those kids, I disagreed with some of their disciplinary measures. They did spank, using a book (I think), and the kids were 11 and 13 when they originally got them. The kids are now in another home, because they've gotten into drugs and gotten into trouble with the law. I don't know if they had been spanked when they were younger.

I've heard it suggested that spanking can affect one's sexual identity later in life, but I don't have much research on it. Thanks, sidony and ECHOES, for those links. I'll try to check them out when I get a chance. I'm familiar with HealthyPlace.com, and they have some interesting articles.

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