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Default Sep 27, 2014 at 12:35 AM
  #21
There just feels like there's a lot of pressure…I don't think I can handle never being able to orgasm, especially since he seems to have multiple orgasms per encounter (which I didn't realize was common for guys, but what do I know?). That and I'm the most difficult person to get off that he's been with. Also, I thought my problem before was that every sexual encounter was either not completely consensual or with someone who was just going to throw me away the next day anyway. So I always just thought if I was ever with someone who was actually nice and stuck around that it would work…but it still doesn't.

And he is patient and understanding, but he's also concerned about his own needs and how my issues might affect them eventually, if I can't work out my anxiety quickly.

I'm also not sure how I'm going to fully enjoy sex if I know going in that it will only get me painfully aroused with no release.
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Default Oct 06, 2014 at 12:27 AM
  #22
So, we have even more problems…when it comes to intercourse, it hurts for 5-10 seconds or so and then either I don't feel much or it's completely over. Unfortunately, he usually can't help getting off before he's hard enough to penetrate me and even if he is able to, he usually gets off as soon as he's inside of me or within seconds of doing so. So, I don't really want to have intercourse anymore as it's almost always just a few seconds of pain and I don't want to risk pregnancy over that. I already know I'm not going to be able to get off that way…I don't even have time to relax enough for it not to hurt, unless it's SUPPOSED to hurt the first several times.

I just don't want to hurt his feelings…it's not like he's doing it on purpose. Not to mention how self-conscious he is about it. It's at least partly an anxiety thing on his part as well. I don't really know what to do to help other than try to reassure him afterwards so he doesn't feel like a failure.

Also, I still can't orgasm in any other way. I think it's starting to frustrate him too. I mean, he's tried everything he already knew and more.
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Default Oct 06, 2014 at 01:40 AM
  #23
I am extremely hypersexual BUT it's almost impossible for me to orgasm with another person. No matter how much i enjoy it or how good it feels I can't relax or trust another person enough to orgasm. My hubby would be very hurt if he knew in 8 years he'd made it happen one time. Heck he should be proud it's the only time it's ever happened with another person. It's truly nothing he's doing wrong it's completely my issue so I always fake it.
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Default Oct 06, 2014 at 09:46 AM
  #24
And if we don't have intercourse (or at least not very often) and therefore can't really use condoms or other barrier birth control, what do I actually use for birth control? I'd rather not use the pill because of the hormones, but it seems like I have no choice. It's not like his penis isn't going to be dangerously close to my vagina from time to time. And if he's not hard enough to put a condom on at that point, there's no other way to protect myself than pills or a patch.
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Default Oct 06, 2014 at 06:31 PM
  #25
Quote:
Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End. View Post
And if we don't have intercourse (or at least not very often) and therefore can't really use condoms or other barrier birth control, what do I actually use for birth control? I'd rather not use the pill because of the hormones, but it seems like I have no choice. It's not like his penis isn't going to be dangerously close to my vagina from time to time. And if he's not hard enough to put a condom on at that point, there's no other way to protect myself than pills or a patch.
They say IUDs are very effective.

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