Struggling with Sex-Repulsion

TheSeamster · Oct 11, 2014 at 10:23 AM

So I'm an asexual. But most, if not all, my friends are sexual. And I incredibly disgusted and repulsed by the idea of people having sex. My friends and I often joke about their sex lives, but then it can suddenly turn into a serious conversation and I get wicked ill. That and 2 of my friends are dating, so when we hang out they'll always run off and have sex, and sometimes it's LOUD and I want to vomit.

does anyone else have this problem? If so how do you deal with it?

Angelique67 · Oct 11, 2014 at 10:36 AM

I have, for a few years now. I stay away from people entirely.

hamster-bamster · Oct 11, 2014 at 12:51 PM

I do not have your problem and am happily sexual, but I am aware of a general approach to all problems of this type. The approach may seem paradoxical. Basically you gradually expose yourself until you become desensitized. I highly recommend this approach because you would otherwise keep running into this problem.

If you want to vomit, it is OK. You are not going to die from vomiting. If you really want to vomit (rather than using this expression as a figure of speech), go to the bathroom and vomit. You might feel relief and even something cathartic from it.

debdeb24 · Oct 11, 2014 at 01:04 PM

I am like you. You seem a little more exposed to the problem than me, tho. I have distanced myself from everyone who has ever been in my life. I find it difficult watching movies with sex in them (not porn, just regular movies). I can't watch them alone and definitely not in mixed company. I do like movies with a beautiful romantic plot line and leaves the rest to the imagination. I think there is so much sex on TV today, I don't even turn my TV on anymore.

Angelique67 · Oct 11, 2014 at 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by debdeb24

I am like you. You seem a little more exposed to the problem than me, tho. I have distanced myself from everyone who has ever been in my life. I find it difficult watching movies with sex in them (not porn, just regular movies). I can't watch them alone and definitely not in mixed company. I do like movies with a beautiful romantic plot line and leaves the rest to the imagination. I think there is so much sex on TV today, I don't even turn my TV on anymore.

I agree! I have to mute during kissing scenes because I don't like hearing the smacking noises. It's not that I want to vomit but that sex is just vulgar and ugly to me personally these past few years. I didn't always feel this way and I probably may come out of this phase at some point.

ifst5 · Oct 11, 2014 at 02:26 PM

I don't see your situation as all that unusual. I mean we all have our limits. Even people with very active sex lives don't always like talking about things in detail.

There are asexual people who aren't celibate and you're already involving yourself in this sort of discussion up to a point - so i would lay off on pressurizing yourself. You are who you are. Maybe let some of your closer friends know so that if you have to excuse yourself from the conversation after a certain point they'll understand.

hamster-bamster · Oct 11, 2014 at 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I agree! I have to mute during kissing scenes because I don't like hearing the smacking noises. It's not that I want to vomit but that sex is just vulgar and ugly to me personally these past few years. I didn't always feel this way and I probably may come out of this phase at some point.

Angelique, you might simply have a refined aesthetic taste due to which pop culture with smacking noise during kisses is repulsive to you. Remember that the relationship between pop culture and real life is very, very distant.

High quality movies do not involve smacking noises during kissing. If you have to mute scenes, most likely it means that you just should not watch the movies you are watching at all, but instead find better material to watch.

Angelique67 · Oct 11, 2014 at 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Angelique, you might simply have a refined aesthetic taste due to which pop culture with smacking noise during kisses is repulsive to you. Remember that the relationship between pop culture and real life is very, very distant.

High quality movies do not involve smacking noises during kissing. If you have to mute scenes, most likely it means that you just should not watch the movies you are watching at all, but instead find better material to watch.

Lol, that's for sure. No, the thought of being with anyone is pretty repulsive too.

TheSeamster · Oct 11, 2014 at 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

I agree! I have to mute during kissing scenes because I don't like hearing the smacking noises. It's not that I want to vomit but that sex is just vulgar and ugly to me personally these past few years. I didn't always feel this way and I probably may come out of this phase at some point.

That's what my friends do! They're really affectionate and it's so gross! I really avoid being with them at those times.

Angelique67 · Oct 11, 2014 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSeamster

That's what my friends do! They're really affectionate and it's so gross! I really avoid being with them at those times.

Whoa! That would really bother me. I'd probably have to drop them or something, lol.

AppalachianAxis · Oct 13, 2014 at 10:09 AM

I'm in a very similar situation. All my friends in my social group are sexual, have sex partners, talk openly about sex, etc. I have gotten used to playing along, laughing in the right spots, nodding in others, but never contributing stories of my own. Mercifully, I haven't had to deal with any friends going off for 'loud sex' just yet. Though if I did, I might instead punch something instead of vomit. I simply find one excuse or another when I feel too uncomfortable, or fear awkward questions I can't answer.

Angelique67 · Oct 13, 2014 at 10:12 AM

When I was young I found sex a bit anxiety producing but I wasn't repulsed by it. I usually had to drink to feel comfortable around the whole issue. When I gave up drinking I basically gave up sex! :/

ChipperMonkey · Oct 13, 2014 at 10:47 AM

Do any of you have abuse histories? I can't help but wonder if this is more than being asexual. This is full on repulsion which is more than simple indifference.

Angelique67 · Oct 13, 2014 at 10:48 AM

I was sexually assaulted in college. Not sure about childhood.

Homeira · Nov 03, 2014 at 05:07 PM

I think you should not think of yourself as so strange and unususal. I enjoy sex, and am defenately not asexusl. But I am growing ever more tired and disgusted with the constant fixation on sex in media. I do not consider myself a prude, but so much of society is focused on sexuality. Sexuality is only one part of who and what we are as human beings. I am single now, and find it irritating how I am surrounded by images of happy couples and sex-tips all the time. Especially because a lot of these images and storylines are there simply to sell movies, magazines etc. Sex to me is something private and intimate, with someone you trust and feel close to. When you have that kind of relationship with someone, then it is natural and nice. I think that maybe for you that time has not come yet. Dont feel like there is anything wrong with you. There is something wrong with society...

Homeira · Nov 04, 2014 at 03:23 AM

Well, not completely single... more like polyamorous I guess. But I have long periods were I really dont want to have sex at all!

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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Oct 11, 2014 at 10:36 AM #2 I have, for a few years now. I stay away from people entirely.
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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Oct 13, 2014 at 10:12 AM #12 When I was young I found sex a bit anxiety producing but I wasn't repulsed by it. I usually had to drink to feel comfortable around the whole issue. When I gave up drinking I basically gave up sex! :/
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ChipperMonkey Grand Poohbah Member Since May 2014 Location: Somewhere/Anywhere/Nowhere Posts: 1,516 9 263 hugs given	Oct 13, 2014 at 10:47 AM #13 Do any of you have abuse histories? I can't help but wonder if this is more than being asexual. This is full on repulsion which is more than simple indifference.
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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Oct 13, 2014 at 10:48 AM #14 I was sexually assaulted in college. Not sure about childhood.
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Homeira Grand Member Member Since Oct 2014 Location: Bergen Posts: 755 9 704 hugs given	Nov 04, 2014 at 03:23 AM #16 Well, not completely single... more like polyamorous I guess. But I have long periods were I really dont want to have sex at all!
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