I´m 30+ and still a virgin

How do you deal with feeling unwanted? That's what gets me; this idea that I am a reject.

I´m a 30+ year old woman and I´m still a virgin. There´s nothing physically wrong and I´ve been having sex "by myself" since my teens. So far everything seems normal. I don´t have any religious or other hesitations that prevents me from take this step. I wasn´t sexually traumatized as a child.

I don´t really know how I got into this "situation", I was never interested in looking for a partner in my teens and not in my 20:s either. I thought about my situation being single from time to time but I never took the step to go online dating or so.

Now I sometimes feel unnormal because of this and even if I get aroused when looking at nice intimate sex in a movie for instance I don´t feel the urge to find someone and just have sex. I can´t really see myself in a relationship and I don´t fantasize about other people sexually.

Sometimes I´ve thought about the possibility me being asexual but as I never considered a relationship at all, not a plathonic one either, I think there could be other explanations to this that I don´t really know of.

I don´t want to live by myself for the rest of my life but I though find it hard imagining myself being in a relationship and what it would be like.

Of course I know of dating communities and so on and I can´t say I would be scared of dating but it doesn´t feel natural for some reason. As this is a therapy community I´m not looking for dating tips.

I would want some reflections on this matter, perhaps there´s someone else out there who shares this matter with me.

Sometimes this makes me really sad.

I'm not a virgin but have had only a few short relationships but come across as a virgin since I'm seldom in a relationship and don't really have any sex life to brag about. The one thing I really loathe is coworkers always talk about sex and establish a pecking order based on sexual prowess, experience and orientation. If you don't talk about sex, word spreads quickly through the grapevine, and no one wants to be stuck alone with you in the office since that's about all they talk about, so they leave you in the trenches instead of promoting you to jobs with more social interaction. I think it even factors in the hiring process for small businesses. They want to know if you're married with children, aka "normal". This may be more of an issue for men though. I've worked for many companies and this is true for a majority of them, especially after you've reached age 30.