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Old 03-30-2007, 11:22 PM #1
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Default confusion

this is tough
its embarrasing
and shameful

i was sexually abused by my father
and working thru it with T
when i left home
i didnt hesitate to sleep with a guy mostly friends who wanted more
my T said its cos i wanted to be loved and this was only way i understood it to be

i still dont know how to get that caring feeling from guys i want to care for me and love me

my bf dont complain he loves out sex life
but i guess i want it to change in that i dont want this to be the only way i get that feeling.

does anyone else feel this way
or am i just a disgusting freak
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Old 03-31-2007, 01:20 AM #2
InACorner InACorner is offline
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Default Re: confusion

((((((((((Bronee))))))))))))))))))
you are NOT a disgusting freak.....and i feel the same way
and last time i checked im not that much of a disgusting freak....
sweety your wonderful and i know your bf thinks so as well

start out slow...and let your bf know how your feeling..maybe start over? with baby steps?
believe me if he loves you he will understand
love, Inny
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Old 03-31-2007, 03:43 AM #3
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Default Re: confusion

yes bronee, i felt the same way when i was younger, felt the only way to be loved was for people to get 'that close' to me and i was abused too by a family friend.

sounds bizarre that people would want to feel loved that way, guess that's how it works and no you are not disgusting freak in the slightest.

low self esteem is another symptom of abuse

my marriage has lasted 19years and i still find it hard to believe he loves me, and still crave that loved feeling.
although i am getting better lol, dont know what took me so long
love you jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo
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Old 03-31-2007, 08:00 AM #4
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Default Re: confusion

(((((bronee)))))))
No you are not disgusting!! I have felt the same way with myself. I do agree with Jinny that part of this is low self esteem.
Love ya,
Snowy
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Old 03-31-2007, 12:48 PM #5
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Default Re: confusion

Bronee,

I am working through the same issus. I used sex as a weapon in my old days, because I thought that was the only way I man could like me. I was in a relationship where he wanted sex much more than I did and I just did it because I felt like it was my obligation as a woman. I was his "vessel". That's how it felt.

I've made a rule for myself out of all of this. I won't sleep with a guy from the start now. I used to. I'd sleep with him and then he'd like me and we'd have a relationship. I've decided now that the next guy I date will have to wait for sex until I know he's in it for more than that.

Its not weird to feel this way at all. In fact, all my girlfriends have felt the same way at some point in their lives.
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