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GLENNY62
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Default Jan 20, 2015 at 08:33 PM
  #1
Hi, I have a habit of masturbation almost daily, usually while watching porn, I feel like I am addicted It doesn'y really interfere with anything and I am not into anything kinky at all. I think this question has been asked a lot but I wish I could cut back some. I am married , my wife doesn't mind, tho our sex life is not what it could be.
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Smile Jan 20, 2015 at 11:50 PM
  #2
Hello GLENNY62: Different people have differing levels of sex drive. And, as a rule, I think it is generally true that men have allot more than women. So, if your wife knows what you're up to, & genuinely doesn't mind, then perhaps there's no problem.

I suppose the question is, to some extent, does your wife really not mind or is she just saying that? If the latter is the case, then this could at some point become an issue between the two of you. On the other hand, if she doesn't have allot of desire for sex herself, perhaps she may see your activities as taking some pressure off of her. It's really difficult to tell. I think the really important thing here is for the two of you to be able to discuss your feelings about sex & masturbation as openly as possible.

As far as the porn goes, it sounds like you have a handle on what you're doing at this point. However perhaps there is some fear in the back of your mind that, at some point, you may cross a line from which there is no return? I'm certainly no expert on things of this nature. However I do know that fetishes & addictions, such as to porn, can be devilishly difficult to break. In fact I have read posts here on PC written by members who have fetishes, who have said that the best one can do is to find a safe way to accommodate the fetish because you can't get rid of it & it won't go away. I don't know how true this is. But it is what others have written.

It may be that an addiction to porn is similar. You may find that you simply can't, perhaps don't even want, to give it up entirely. But as long as you can view it legally & safely, & your wife is okay with it, then it's not a problem. If, on the other hand, you find yourself at some point being drawn more-&-more into it, then you may want to seek out some therapy services in an effort to help you at least put on the breaks. My best wishes to you.
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GLENNY62
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Default Jan 21, 2015 at 06:11 PM
  #3
I think its true that my wife has a lower sex drive , I also think we got married later in life so I still carry some of my singleness habits with me. As far as the porn goes,like to scale back some, I do look forward to it sometimes after a stressful day.
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Default Jan 22, 2015 at 06:22 AM
  #4
Maybe make the bedroom more sensual and sexually exciting. Have you watched porn together in the bedroom. I'm sure you know what turns your wife on so try and transfer some of that sexual excitement you get from porn to sex with your wife. Nothing wrong with masturbating but if that's at the expense of sex with your wife then you need to work on it.
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Jess1319
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Default Jan 28, 2015 at 03:43 PM
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What about women's masturbating? We actually do it more often than men. The problem is that it's very rarely phenomena when woman gets orgasm easily and fast, it depends of her thoughts on 90%. But sometimes we can use something like this to accelerate this wonderful moment
What about you guys? "Toys" or a classical masturbation?
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Patagonia
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Default Jan 28, 2015 at 03:47 PM
  #6
Sex starts between the ears

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Default Jan 29, 2015 at 07:20 AM
  #7
Patagonia is right, sex is in the brain...you don't HAVE to have working genitals to have sex, or enjoy it.

But there has to be some balance in the sexual appetites of couples. I'm not saying that people should have sex if they don't want to, but there are many times in relationships where one partner's sex drive is higher. Obviously men can have sex at the drop of a hat, and women can have sex for hours when a man can't.

You'll have to consider whether the masturbating (to porn or otherwise) is causing the lack of sex, or the lack of sex is causing the masturbating. After a while, many people just find that it is too much effort to try and get their partner into the mood, so...they just self-pleasure to release the tension. This becomes a vicious cycle where sex intercourse is dismissed for the ease and speed of masturbation.

Believe me...I know this situation too. I masturbate at least 3-5 times a week. I would have sex that often, but my wife has stated many times that she does not need sex to feel fulfilled in our marriage. She says if I want sex, I have to "bring her into it". I have tried many times, including taking a Viagra, and she ends up not "getting there". I end up with a raging erection and having to take care of myself, as she isn't even willing to finish me manually. I end the night with a massive headache (Viagra side-effect), and disappointed. It's no wonder I'd rather jerk off to porn...no rejection and no headache, just a wonderful release.

Unfortunately, I have no answers or useful advice to give. The only thing I can say is to use your mind more often when you masturbate. Avoid porn...use your imagination. Maybe you can also masturbate with your wife...instead of being alone.
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DianaAustralia
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Default Mar 14, 2015 at 02:37 AM
  #8
I know it is dangerous to genearlise, but it seems a bit weird to me that people have difficulties with masturbating. It is so normal. I do wonder if perhaps it has to do with the large amount of religion in the United States and those who say it is against God or something like that.
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Default Mar 19, 2015 at 01:39 PM
  #9
Diana,

The truly hardcore, fundamentalist religions may still be anti-masturbation but most these days have bigger things to worry about. Masturbation and the human body isn't quite the beast it once was to most modern churches in the US.

I believe it's just the social stigma that somehow "if you were a better person, in a better relationship you wouldn't need to do that" that can make you feel like you've somehow failed at something.
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