What is wrong with me please?

I'm 32 year old man & have not had sex. The only sexual sin have committed is masturbation.

Ever since this particular lady moved to my neighborhood, she causing me unwanted sexual arousal all the time. I do not think or have any sexual desire or thought towards her but any time we sit together or just engaging in conversation, I immediately experience uncontrollable unwanted erection. Worst still, when we are both taking a walk together, my penis is erected with the bulge almost noticeable by anyone who look toward my trousers. I'm just ashamed as I do not know what to do. No lady has ever made me arouse like her. She is single & God fearing but I believe am older than her by one year. She even said she's a virgin but I refuse to believe. Deep down in my spirit I like her but no sexual feelings towards her. I have not told her anything but basically we are just good neighbor. If i tell her lets take a walk, she obliged even before i finish talk. What should i do please? Is this my future wife or what? I never been in a relationship all my life but I do have female friends (not girlfriends)

I don't think that you being aroused by a woman makes her your future wife. In fact, your arousal doesn't necessarily mean that you desire her. I read an article from TED Blogs that someone posted here just yesterday that desire doesn't come before arousal; it's, in fact, the other way around. You can be physically aroused by someone, yet not want them.

Erections are nothing to be ashamed about. They happen to men all the time. It simply shows that your body is functioning in the way it should.

If you want my opinion, I think you should just relax and take things one day at a time with your lady friend.

"Enjoy when you can. Endure when you must."-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Hello mutik: Welcome to PsychCentral. PC is a great place to gain support, learn strategies for handling mental health concerns, & to make internet friends. There are many wonderfully supportive members here on PsychCentral.

With regard to your post, you're just experiencing what every man experiences. There's nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Whether or not the woman you wrote about is someone with whom you might develop a long-term relationship remains to be seen. It certainly sounds like she's interested in you! My suggestion is to just take your relationship with her one step at a time & see where it goes.

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