I'm not sure where I should go from here...

It's not often I am able to get intimate with my wife...it normally needs a little planning...kind of pre-agreement that we are going to try and have sex. It doesn't always work out.

Yesterday, I took my wife to a doctor's appointment and after I brought her home, and was going to go to work (late) she told me I should stay and we could do something together. Sadly, I was late for even my "late" start at work. She told me we could try again later in the day.

Due to the problems I have with feeling in my penis, I took a Viagra at dinner time, hoping we could engage each other before too long. However, my wife spent the next few hours working on a presentation she is going to give. Then she wanted to go in the sauna.

So I gave her the space to work on the presentation, then we went in the sauna. She is particular and doesn't like me sweating on or around her. But as confused as I was, she seemed to have expected me to try and arouse her while I was dripping with sweat.

Needless to say, she "initiated" by manually stimulating me, to which I returned the favour doing the same to her. Believe me...it's not easy to do that with both of us sitting upright in a small sauna, dripping with sweat.

Well, I wasn't very successful with pleasuring her, and she wasn't any more successful pleasuring me...though I was hard the whole time. One of the issue I am having is that the whole time we were manually stimulating each other...I couldn't get out of my head that I really wished that my wife had a penis or that I was in there with another man.

Don't worry, I am bisexual...so the concept is not farfetched...but I've never been so preoccupied, especially during sex with my wife, about my same sex desires. I was thinking about how much simpler it would be with a man/penis, how much more pleasure I could give and get from a penis.

So here I am the morning after...neither one of us got satisfied...and I'm preoccupied with penises again...to the point of interfering with the limited opportunities for intimacy with my wife of over 18 years.

Anyone have ideas or advice?

No experiences in this area so I am not sure what to say but there are some articles that may be of interest

Psych Central - Search results for Sensuality and intimacy