Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits? - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 02-13-2015, 09:52 AM #1
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Default Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

I am a college-age guy and in a relationship with a girl. Basically, we were kinda unstably together for 8 months or so, but now we have been in a real relationship for a month.

The first time I masturbated was less than two years ago. I got into the habit of masturbating to pictures on facebook because I found porn gross, and I continued to do this until about two months ago. I feel absolutely horrible about it. It's a gross habit and it's objectifying and I feel just gross. I feel like a disgusting horrible pig, and I feel like I am being dishonest with my girlfriend by not telling her because I feel like I am lying about who I am or something...she knows I masturbate regularly, and she knows that I used to think about other people when I masturbated sometimes, which she thinks is totally normal. What she doesn't know is that I used pictures on facebook...do I owe it to her to confess these past habits to her? We weren't in a real committed relationship during the time I did this, but we were together and we were exclusive....I just feel so so bad.....she's the first girl I've ever been with or even kissed and I don't want to ruin anything
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Old 02-13-2015, 11:15 AM #2
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

Hi Hello991, First congratulations on your new relationship. Masturbation is not something to be ashamed about. It is I believe something most people try or do. Unfortunately, some religions describe it as a sin . Giving the act a "dirty" feel or name. I don't think you need to tell your new girlfriend about your past habits. You have nothing to feel bad about. You are not horrible. Give yourself some self compassion and just enjoy your new relationship! Focus your feelings on her and yourself. Good luck,much happiness, and peace!
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Old 02-14-2015, 04:11 AM #3
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

Not a big deal really. Do not tell her and don't feel bad about it. Nothing extreme about it


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Old 02-14-2015, 08:50 AM #4
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

I agree...no problems with masturbating, it's normal. Many people have masturbated to pictures or photos when they have no sexual partner. Sometimes it's even pictures of their own partner. Masturbation is a personal thing, about self pleasure...it's nothing to be ashamed about, or to feel guilty that you've used images of beautiful people to arouse yourself.
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Old 02-14-2015, 10:16 PM #5
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

Its completely normal to masturbate. However, you may want to work on your attitude toward masturbation as that seems to be the bigger problem. Masturbation is healthy, and in no way being dishonest with your partner. It is a private thing, and I don't necessarily think that you need to tell her everything. You can if you want, but in a relationship it isn't necessary to share *everything*.
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Old 02-21-2015, 12:08 PM #6
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

Ugh I did it again last night...I masturbated to pictures of girls I know who aren't her on facebook. I feel so bad...I can't help but feel like I'm wronging her and that she deserves someone better than me who won't do this. I feel like I am being dishonest with her in some way. I have a tendency to obsess over things and create problems for myself, but I don't know how to let go of these feelings of extreme guilt...are these feelings justified? Am I being to hard on myself?
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Old 02-22-2015, 01:03 PM #7
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

I think it becomes a problem if you don't feel aroused and don't want sex with your gf and instead just wanto masturbate. I dated someone like that once. If it is not the case then not a big deal imho


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Old 02-22-2015, 01:18 PM #8
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

it's not a sin at all. don't worry.
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Old 02-24-2015, 08:19 AM #9
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

I, too, think there's nothing to worry about. Masturbation is normal and a very private thing. I don't think you even need to discuss it with her anymore. As long as you are faithful to her, that's all that matters. Everyone knows their partner is not attracted to only them.
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Old 02-24-2015, 01:00 PM #10
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Default Re: Should I feel guilty for my past masturbation habits?

I see nothing wrong with what you did and see no advantage in telling her about it. If you are ashamed of masturbating to facebook then I assume you have stopped. So no reason to bring it up. Ive heard of and have done much worse than masturbating to facebook.
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