Guilt/anger/sadness after self-pleasure

Hey all,

I hope this is the right forum for this.

Anyway...the title basically says it. I can't self-please without feeling guilty, angry, or sad afterwards. I know it's going to happen, so sometimes I just avoid doing it.

It feels gross to me in a way. I also have a hard time not thinking of my ex (even though we broke up 5 months ago). So that would explain the sadness when I get back to reality and realize she is actually gone and has been for quite a while.

Is there anyway I can get over this? Or should I just not masterbate? I go a long time without doing so because of these issues then I immediately regret it afterwards.

Well, honestly masturbation is a very normal, healthy thing when it it comes to human beings. I really dont think that you have anything to feel guilty about. If you have a therapist or pdoc to talk to, you might express these feelings to them. Maybe they can help you get to the root of where the feelings of guilt come from, and help you cope with that issue. Maybe if you are able to cope with the issue the guilt stems from, you will no longer feel guilty about masturbation. As far as the feelings of sadness, waht are you doing for yourself to help move on from the ended relationship? I think the feelings of sadness will subside when you have fully moved forward from your ex. Best of luck ((hugs))

I would be too embarrassed to talk with my therapist about it.

I think it's because I feel gross afterwards. Like I'm supposed to be having sex instead of being on my own doing that stuff.

I don't know what to do about getting over the relationship. I am like 80-90% over it. I don't want her back (only in fantasy world where she's not actually the person I finally accepted she is...if that makes sense). I don't even think I want to talk or be friends with her. I just miss her I guess. I know this is for the best. It's the good parts of her I miss. She's largely actually full of drama and makes me feel bad about myself...so it's better we don't talk again. But...idk what I'm doing to really get over it 100%. Other than just keeping busy and trying to push thoughts of her away from my mind whenever I can.

I know exactly how you feel. So, you;re not alone, if that helps in some way.

People will be in a rush to tell you how natural and healthy a practice masturbation is. They mean well, but I've found this to be very unhelpful when it just make you feel, well, terrible.
I have dealt with the very condition you describe my entire life. Sexual thoughts and actions have made me feel anger, regret, shame, depression, etc. Nothing pleasant to be sure. Unlike you, I've always felt this way but I have taken a few steps that might help you.

I know you've said you'd feel uncomfortable talking about this with your current therapist. That is totally understandable. But if the issue persists, I highly recommend seeing a professional Sex Therapist as this is unbelievably helpful in this regard. It's not weird, it's not uncomfortable or unprofessional, these sorts of issues are exactly what Sex Therapists are around to help with.
Apart from that, you may with to do some research into a few things and see if you can relate. "Post-coital depression" is the closest I've come to finding an exact term for the extreme negative feelings following sex/masturbation/etc. Maybe give that a Google search or two?
I've come to identify with Sexual Anorexia and/or Sexual Aversion disorder. They aptly describe my relationship with my own sexual urges and from what I've come to understand, it is quite possible to become Sexually averse at ANY point in life.
"Thought Stopping" is something that I learned in Sex Therapy. Basically, it involves taking a step back from yourself when those negative feelings start to set in. Try as best you can to detach yourself from emotions and ask yourself a few questions. Do I deserve to feel this why? Have I done anything wrong? Have I hurt anybody? It's not full-proof, but I've found it helps.

I wish you the best of luck. And feel free to ask any questions, this is the place for answers. And as I said, I'm something of a lifetime expert on the matter. :P

I've had the issues for quite a while. Probably since I was very young. That I would feel sad/disgusted for doing that. But it's always worse after having a sexual relationship with somebody and then trying to get back into self-pleasure when there's nobody else around. I had a couple people I had sex with, but didn't date and for a while they were still on my mind even after we called off the sex part.

I wish that I could see masturbation as something to be okay with/not ashamed of. Sometimes I can't help but to do it because I have a random urge. Then, as I said, I feel bad after doing it.

I feel that this is somewhat minor, so I'm not sure I would need a sex therapist. As far as I know, I don't have any other sexual issues. I mean...maybe as a temporary thing, but that's also more money coming out of my account (which my parents will question since my account is linked to their account).

I'll check out those things just to have a bit of knowledge about them at the least. I'll see if I can relate to them.

I like the thought stopping. Any suggestions of what to do like "during the act"? I mean, what/who else can I think about that doesn't wind up being a bad thing after? Thinking about myself without fantasy is boring. lol.