Different sexual drives - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 03-10-2015, 06:53 PM #1
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Default Different sexual drives

My girlfriend and I have two different drives when it comes to sex. I want it literally all the time and I show it, but she is okay with not doing anything about it. She doesn't have the same desire as me. I want to address this issue before it does anything to our relationship. Any tips on how to deal with this sexual tension or tips to get her to want it more?
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Old 03-11-2015, 03:22 PM #2
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Default Re: Different sexual drives

snaptrizzy Hello and welcome to PC.

I would go to couple's counseling as she may have some issues that are keeping her from being more intimate with you. Also a check up with her doc wouldn't be a bad idea. Is she taking any medications that may be decreasing her sex drive? I don't think pressuring her is the way to go. For me as a female, it is important to have a strong emotional bond with my partner. I am wondering if she feels that you are only interested in a physical bond and not so much on an emotional level as woman can appreciate that. I hope that you get this straightened out and please be patient with her. If you really love her, then you can try to see what she is really feeling.

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Old 03-11-2015, 03:24 PM #3
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Default Re: Different sexual drives

I think you just have to accept her the way she is. I don't think that there is anything you could do to raise her sex drive. I do think it is good to keep the lines of communication regarding the subject open. Maybe the two of you can come up with a compromise. I've been on both sides of this coin during my life and have never been able to come up with a good solution. Communication is the key, though.
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Old 03-12-2015, 06:21 AM #4
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Default Re: Different sexual drives

As Sideblinded and Gaylegg both said; communicate, communicate, communicate. Work on those bonds outside the bedroom; play dates to the zoo, making her a romantic meal, giving her a foot rub, making her dance with you to the show tunes at the grocery store ... Ooo, I gotta do that one myself.

And work out a compromise. You might want it every moment and she's only a once a month girl. So start with every two weeks? Or something like that.

The relationship has to be a give and take for both of you. Sex is a minor part of a relationship when it's good, but it's a very big part when it's not good. So you both need to work with each other so you can give each other the most you can.
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