Asexuality?

Greetings, people who are viewing this thread. I'm going to get right into it. I'm a female and am in my early twenties, but in appearance and personality I look more like a guy. Most of my clothes are mens and I have little to no interest in typically "female" activities. I don't know if that affects anything, maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. I don't know.

So, I'm wondering if I could be asexual. Unlike a lot of people I know, I've never had sex and I've never even considered it. I don't look at people and be attracted to them. There is someone I love, but I love her as a friend only, there is no "urges" there or anything like that. I don't feel that with anyone, and I've never once engaged in self pleasure, which, apparently, is weird. That's what I've always been told in the past, that I need to see a doctor because clearly something is wrong with me. People say there's something wrong with my hormones or something. I've had tests, and they come back normal so whatever is wrong with me, its not physical.

Because I do love my best female friend, for a while I wondered if I was guy, but as I said before, there's no sexual attraction there. She's just like an older sister to me, nothing more than that. I don't want to, nor have I ever wanted to, have sex with her or anyone else.

Whenever I try to talk to people about this, and if I ever say I love my friend, they look over the "non sexually" part and tell me I'm gay. It got to the point that I just started to believe it. I somehow managed to convince myself that I was gay, even though I have absolutely no desire to date or have sex with another woman. I think it was just easier, at the time, to believe that than think that something is missing from me, which is how I've felt for a long time. That there is something wrong, that something went wrong during development because its like I have nothing there sexually. It's blank. Everyone tells me its impossible so I begun to believe that.

But now I'm not so sure, which is why I'm posting. For advice, answers, support, anything. I don't know what I am, but I'm so sick of feeling like there's something wrong with me.

you could be asexual. asexuals have the ability to love other people romantically or emotionally, just not sexually.

I identify as asexual and I can tell you that asexuality itself is a pretty broad term which houses different classifications beneath it. Some people feel no sexual attraction/desire but still crave romance and intimacy. Some crave neither. Some have urges but they aren't directed at other people. The list goes on and on... but I'll just leave this here if you haven't seen it. The site and forums are very active there and you may be able to get some of your questions answered, or at least, find people you can relate to.

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Hopefully this link is okay to post here. I'm not affiliated with the site, just think it might help clear up some of these questions as I know it did for me.