since forever

Since the age that I became aware of me being a male, it really was confusing. When I was 7 me and the next door neighbor girl actually tried to act like we were having sex, anyway, save graphics, I did realize after that day that I didn't feel right in the body I have. Throughout my growing I have been always envious of the female, so I found myself always engaged with other males. In my teens, I had gained a crap load of fat because I knew that in this life time, I would never be the person that needed to feel, so I out casted. I started having sex with females because it fit the norm, but it was always something the seeked like I had to focus on in order to hope sastify, but that didn't work because it's over really fast.
I ended up accepting that this must be life and got married, um 2 times. Well sex had always felt like a thing to do when doing it with females. and the random times with males, all I would do is imagine myself as a female and it all came so natural. I actually dislike a lot of what goes into a lot of the male and male sex, but my instincts end up me being naturally attracted to males who treated me with respect and wasn't all like an animal towards me. So I seriously think that understanding this I am inside a wrong body, but I know i won't ever go through some kind of operation, and can't go on lying either, but can't really see holding down a boyfriend status, then again you never know. I'd prefer to actually go more in depth with my own story, but let's just start here. If you got any related life stories it would be nice to know that I'm not alone.

Welcome to Psych Central, Ashley di. Sorry you are suffering from gender identity.
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