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Default May 29, 2007 at 02:03 PM
  #1
Here's a question that I don't know is appropriate or not.

What is everyone's opinion about cyber-sex? Do you consider it a nice way for two friends (not strangers) to be with each other, or is it a perverted method made possible because of today's technology?

I've known this man online for about 3 years now. He's in an online Group with me. We've always joked around, but never really had any big discussions and certainly never emailed or IM'ed each other. Well, that all changed in the past couple of weeks. I was having a flashback of sorts, and I couldn't find any of my online buddies to talk with. I saw that he was available, and he stayed online with me all day (while he was at work) right up until the evening when I went to bed. He helped to keep me calm, and was the nicest gentleman you could imagine. He has anxiety issues too, and he wanted to help to keep my level down.

Well, we started emailing and IM'ing after that, and before you know it, we're writing out little scenarios that got pretty hot. Lol. And then the other night, I went on Messenger and asked him to take me somewhere.....and boy, did he ever! I've never done that before. EVER. And I'd forgotten that my body could feel those sensations, it's been so long since I dropped my guard in real life. Cyber seemed safer, and I really did appreciate this man who I have been calling a friend.

We will never meet because of distance, but I'm sure the "game" will progress to the phone. But the thing is.....we have long conversations about ourselves and our days and don't even have to discuss sex at all. I think he's just a genuinely nice guy, not playing me. I've helped bring him down from his anxiety a couple of times, and he's always there for me.

Is cyber-sex taboo? I wouldn't engage in it with just some stranger I ran across on the internet who wanted to do that. I've "known" this guy for a few years. And it's not all about sex. He *is* a friend, albiet an online one.

I'm almost scared to read your responses. No, I'm not married anymore. No, the kids don't live at home anymore. Yes, I locked the cat up in the bedroom! LOL.

Am I entering into unacceptable society? Is this still considered wrong and bad and deviant? Or is it an approved part of our culture now?

Sandy

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Default May 29, 2007 at 02:49 PM
  #2
I think cyber sex is wide spread now days. if it is cool with you behind the safety of the doors of your home then why shouldn't it be ok I say. I for one never could do that lol I am way too shy and I could never get the hang of typing with one hand lol. not very coordinated here myself lol

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Default May 29, 2007 at 02:57 PM
  #3
I have known a guy online since 1998. We've had cyber and phone sex over the years. I think its fine! I wouldn't do it now that I have a boyfriend, but when I was single, it was a fun outlet. And I've know him for nearly 10 years, so he's definitely a friend! I don't see the harm in it at all!

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Default May 29, 2007 at 07:27 PM
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lol. i guess i've only got to the 'heavy petting' stage of cybersex or something. it was fun, though. i don't see any harm in it. so long as you are comfortable and he is comfortable then i reckon you should enjoy yourselves.
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Default May 29, 2007 at 08:49 PM
  #5
LOL, Sandy...locked your cat in the bedroom...!

Seriously, though, I guess if you are comfortable with it and it is fulfilling a need or desire you have with this man, with whom you have a longstanding Internet relationship as a friend, it seems okay.
You have stated you are alone. Is this fella alone also? I hope not married, though I suppose under certain circumstances even that could be sidestepped, though there are moral and ethical issues if he is.

Like Bebop, I couldn't do it, though I often find myself lonely these days. Maybe if I had a longterm friend like you, I'd feel differently.
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Default May 30, 2007 at 11:19 AM
  #6
Thanks, everyone. Not one negative reply, even in my private messages. Things sure have changed in the past few years. This was one of the more disgusting areas of discussion regarding the internet, and I really didn't know if I were going to get blasted for posting this question. I just wanted to know whether I was not only psycho, but also deviant! Cyber-Sex???

And, yes...I locked my cat in the bedrom! LOL!!!!! He always hangs around me, and I didn't want an audience! Cyber-Sex??? How awkward having your cat just staring at you!

Yes, it's incredibly difficult to do it typing on a keyboard. By the time we were having real fun, my messages were all gibberish as I was *trying* to relay to him.....but that's rather hard when you're pushed back in your chair and your head is back and the keyboard in a million miles away. Lol. So he had some deciphering to do at times! Lol. But he got the idea. Even without being able to understand half the stuff I would get inputted, he knew I was happy, happy, happy. Cyber-Sex???

That's why I wanted to go to phone sex. We talk on the phone anyways, and like I've said, I've known him for about 2-3 years....although we'd never really emailed each other individually. I'm in a Yahoo Group, and we'd just joke around and talk to each other among the others. He's a fun guy. But that changed when he helped me with my PTSD flashback in private emails ALL DAY LONG. He really put himself out there for me, and our friendship keeps growing from there. I certainly wouldn't do this with a stranger! That's not being open and trusting with a friend....that's just fun and games and getting off on the sensations only.

Anyways, thanks for the responses. It was embarrassing to ask, but I *really* wanted to know what this Forum's opinion was on the subject. I didn't want to feel dirty.

Everyone have a great day!!!

God bless,
Sandy

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Default May 30, 2007 at 11:34 AM
  #7
lol you lock your cat in the room lol I have to do the same thing with my little dog or he gets up in the bed with us trying to get between us licking our faces lol. wonder if he thinks hubby is hurting me? lol

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Default May 30, 2007 at 12:23 PM
  #8
My bf locks his cats out of the bedroom when we're in there LOL!!!

Sandy I'm so glad you got good responses! I figured you would, since this is the "frank and open conversation" forum lol. I'm so glad you're finding some fun release with this guy. Cyber-Sex???

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Default May 30, 2007 at 09:17 PM
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i have a friend who related to me that she and her boyfriend were "engaged" and right in the midst of it, his little dog jumped up on his back and started growling and biting at his hair and jumping and running circles all around the bed....playing........... Cyber-Sex???
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Default May 31, 2007 at 11:34 AM
  #10
omg! lol that is how my little dog does if we don't pen him up lol

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Default May 31, 2007 at 01:48 PM
  #11
Isn't it funny how we take into consideration the watchful eyes of our pets when we are being aroused? Cyber-Sex??? But you know what? I think they recognize a certain odor (yum yum), and that's why they watch and/or get excited. Lol.

I had a cat once who was very protective of me. He slept right on the very top of my head every night. During the day, if hubby came at me, she would get very upset and start growling at him. So, of course, nice person that I am, I'd say to hubby, "Do it again." And sure enough, she'd stop everything and stare hybbu down while growling. We couldn't help but laugh over that. Awww, my little protector. I guess she didn't think hubby was good enough in bed! Cyber-Sex???

God bless,
Sandy

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Default May 31, 2007 at 10:41 PM
  #12
Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex???

ahhhhh... maybe our pets know better than us...

LOL
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Default Jun 01, 2007 at 03:55 PM
  #13
Hey all,

Thanks for all the positive responses. So now we know that cyber-sex is a taboo of the past, and that we don't like our pets watching us getting off! Cyber-Sex???

I have another question. As you can tell, this is a whole new world to me. I've only had sex with a warm body by me, not over some electrical circuitry. Lol.

The computer was fine, but it's just simply not possible to TYPE anything remotely in a human language when you're feeling that good. Sooooo......

What about phone sex? Do many do it that way? I would LOVE to hear my sweetheart experiencing pleasure, and it would be fantastic for him to hear me in return. Gets me all excited just thinking about it!! Lol. But....what do you do about the neighbors? The walls are pretty thick, but I can hear through the floor to the bedroom below me. In fact, I think they even have their bed in the same place as mine. Again, that wouldn't be too much of a problem, but......I groan and moan and call out a lot. How embarrassing for my neighbors to eavesdrop!! How do you solve that problem? I don't want same danky old sock in my mouth! Lol.

Any suggestions and/or experiences would be GREATLY appreciated. I just don't know how to keep quiet. That would ruin the whole thing. Very frustrating.

Thanks again, everybody!

God bless,
Sandy

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Default Jun 01, 2007 at 05:42 PM
  #14
are you friends with your neighbors? lol my hubby and I lived in an old victorian with no ac so our windows were open all the time. well we like whoopie in the afternoon and forgot our neighbors often were on their front porch. anyway hubby gets really loud lol so when we were finished one day after he was louder than normal I happened to stand up by the open window and the neighbors were on the porch laughing like crazy lol. Cyber-Sex??? Cyber-Sex???

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Default Jun 02, 2007 at 01:14 AM
  #15
Okay, I have to say this--I don't think i am a fast enough typer for cybersex...

Although I am too shy to do it--I see nothing wrong with it--it s healthy outlet.

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Default Jun 02, 2007 at 09:36 AM
  #16
and you can't get std's from it either Cyber-Sex???

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Default Jun 02, 2007 at 10:07 AM
  #17
DePress Me,

It doesn't matter if you can type fast or not. By the time I was into it, all I was typing was gibberish! LOL. You could pick out a word here and there, but how the heck do you concentrate one hand on the keyboard and your other hand travelling through a fantasy?? I *wanted* to let my guy know how good I was feeling, but gibberish is all that came out. But he said he knew when my typing starting getting weird that I was getting excited, and then it just got more weird! LOL. And THAT turned him on.

I have to tell you that we laugh about that all the time! I tell him to shut up because my one-handed typing wasn't that bad! Ha ha ha ha ha. My mind knew exactly what it was doing! Cyber-Sex???

I think it'll be the phone from now on. The keyboard is JUST too frustrating!!!!!

God bless,
Sandy

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Default Jun 02, 2007 at 10:39 AM
  #18
It sounds like you are really connected to your sexuality. That’s…that’s, I don’t know…good to hear. I wish I was as open and imaginative as you are…maybe someday.

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Default Jun 03, 2007 at 10:27 AM
  #19
Just thought that I would mention that I tried phone sex with my sweetie last night. It started out rather awkward because we had no experience in it...what the heck do you do?? Lol.

But it turned out to be so much fun, and it was great to HEAR him rather than just seeing typed words. It was in the "WOW" factor! Cyber-Sex???

God bless,
Sandy

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Default Jun 03, 2007 at 02:43 PM
  #20
a headset phone sounds handy..........then your hands are completely free and your head can "roll" around at will. Cyber-Sex???

i've had both and prefer phone sex. it's easier.........and you sound "smarter" than you do typing with one hand..... Cyber-Sex???
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