why cant people just leave well enough alone

jman197 · Oct 10, 2015 at 01:36 PM

i believe i am gay, i have believed this for a long time but now my friends are making me second guess myself. im happy the way i am why cant they be

Oct 10, 2015 at 02:31 PM

Acceptance, the hardest word in the English language for anyone to use, yes sometimes even ourselves.

retiredlibrarian · Oct 10, 2015 at 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jman197

i believe i am gay, i have believed this for a long time but now my friends are making me second guess myself. im happy the way i am why cant they be

If you believe you're gay, then that's what counts. The problem is usually that one tries to convince himself that he's not (or that at least he might be bi). In what sense are your friends making you second guess yourself?

Most gays have known we were attracted to other men since we were very young. Now, we might not have known what it was called, and it might cause us a crisis when we find out and begin to face up to the implications of it, especially if we've grown up in a church that considers homosexuality to be the worst possible sin; but my facing up to it in no way changed that I had always been this way.

Oct 11, 2015 at 02:42 AM

I don't know what your situation is, or what your friends are doing. But I suspect if you live your life the way you want to, and find happiness in a healthy relationship, then your friends over time will realise that you are perfect as you are and don't need to change. I would guess they are worried about you, and you need to be strong and persevere and be yourself. When they see you happy being yourself, if they are real friends, then they won't want you any other way.

jman197 · Oct 11, 2015 at 11:58 AM

my friends are saying that they expect me to get with a girl, that because i havent done certain things with a girl i cant be gay and that if i was with a girl my life would be easier.

Oct 11, 2015 at 01:08 PM

Your friends no nothing of who you are or what they are talking about. Maybe it time to find new friends that accept the fact of who you are, not who they expect you to be.

scorpiosis37 · Oct 11, 2015 at 03:32 PM

Your friends are wrong. You know who you are attracted to BEFORE you begin having sex. Did you ask them: "Well, if you have never been with a man, how do you know you are not gay, too?" No one would ask that of a straight person. You just "know." I knew when I was 5. I have never been with someone of the opposite sex because I know I don't want to be. I'm gay. I'm happy. I'm in a relationship. Your friends are the ones with the problem-- not you. If they care about you, they will accept you.

retiredlibrarian · Oct 11, 2015 at 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jman197

my friends are saying that they expect me to get with a girl, that because i havent done certain things with a girl i cant be gay and that if i was with a girl my life would be easier.

It's hard to believe anyone is still using that argument in 2015. It was used on me in the 1970s. Unfortunately, that was part of the reason I ended up marrying, and all that ended up causing was two very unhappy people.

BlueCrustacean · Oct 18, 2015 at 09:45 PM

Time to get new friends.

bighands · Oct 20, 2015 at 12:51 PM

Unfortunately, your friends are only half wrong. Most agree that the life of people who are anything other that Straight, IS tougher because of the bigotry, stereotypes and hate.

But, you are who you are and you cannot deny that simply to take the easy path.

Good luck.

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jman197 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: flint Posts: 111 8 3 hugs given	Oct 10, 2015 at 01:36 PM #1 i believe i am gay, i have believed this for a long time but now my friends are making me second guess myself. im happy the way i am why cant they be
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anon2216 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 10, 2015 at 02:31 PM #2 Acceptance, the hardest word in the English language for anyone to use, yes sometimes even ourselves.
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jman197 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: flint Posts: 111 8 3 hugs given	Oct 11, 2015 at 11:58 AM #5 my friends are saying that they expect me to get with a girl, that because i havent done certain things with a girl i cant be gay and that if i was with a girl my life would be easier.
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anon2216 Guest Posts: n/a	Oct 11, 2015 at 01:08 PM #6 Your friends no nothing of who you are or what they are talking about. Maybe it time to find new friends that accept the fact of who you are, not who they expect you to be.
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BlueCrustacean Member Member Since Aug 2015 Location: Sandy, UT Posts: 417 8 58 hugs given	Oct 18, 2015 at 09:45 PM #9 Time to get new friends.
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bighands Member Member Since Mar 2012 Location: Mid-Atlantic Posts: 304 12 43 hugs given	Oct 20, 2015 at 12:51 PM #10 Unfortunately, your friends are only half wrong. Most agree that the life of people who are anything other that Straight, IS tougher because of the bigotry, stereotypes and hate. But, you are who you are and you cannot deny that simply to take the easy path. Good luck.
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