why do people pretend porn isn't the problem?

2uglyforwomen · Feb 23, 2017 at 08:11 PM

How is watching porn cheating?

Artchic528 · Feb 23, 2017 at 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2uglyforwomen

How is watching porn cheating?

Well, I guess some people are very insecure and feel that so much as looking at a picture of someone else naked is crossing the line.

shakespeare47 · Apr 21, 2017 at 11:34 AM

Another interesting article, from Psychology Today.
From the article...

Quote:

I'm not arguing that porn is utterly harmless. Some men consume it so compulsively that it interferes with their lives. They need therapy. Some women become distraught when they discover that the men in their lives enjoy porn. They might benefit from couple therapy. And to the extent that porn is a sex educator, it teaches lovemaking all wrong. More about this in a future post.

But the evidence clearly shows that from a social welfare perspective, porn causes no measurable harm. In fact, as porn viewing has soared, rates of syphilis, gonorrhea, teen sex, teen births, divorce, and rape have all substantially declined. If Internet porn affects society, oddly enough, it looks beneficial. Perhaps mental health professionals should encourage men to view it.

And another article from Psychology Today from last year...

Quote:

Contrary to the critics’ assertions, as porn consumptions increased, so did emotional closeness to others. Far from providing an escape from close relationships, the researchers suggested that porn use may signify a “craving for intimacy.”
Those who feel offended or disgusted by pornography are entitled to their opinion. But they are not entitled to misrepresent its effects on men and society. Porn does NOT isolate men from significant others, nor does it contribute to rape and other sex crimes.

Patagonia · Apr 21, 2017 at 12:35 PM

So one point of the porn argument is that men or women are using porn which creates a lack of intimacy & a separation in the relationship.

IMHO what creates more of a separation in a relationship is basically a screen!
A tv, tablet, iPad, kindle etc etc.
we as a society are now glued to a screen in front of our faces. Whether it's at home in private, or in line in a store. Everyone is whipping out their screens to connect.
Really take a look around & see how many people are looking at a screen....just bec they can.

Technology is the new porn.

shakespeare47 · 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patagonia

So one point of the porn argument is that men or women are using porn which creates a lack of intimacy & a separation in the relationship.

The 2nd article contradicts the claim that porn creates a lack of intimacy and separation.

Quote:

Contrary to the critics’ assertions, as porn consumptions increased, so did emotional closeness to others.

wiretwister · Apr 21, 2017 at 06:34 PM

Technology is the new porn .... Amen.

I think it is more addicting than crack ... and probabily has killed more people in distracted driving car wrecks ...

Patagonia · Apr 21, 2017 at 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

The 2nd article contradicts the claim that porn creates a lack of intimacy and separation.

Yes I do agree that this is false, but for those that are still following the OP & other posters opinions that porn drives people apart, creates intimacy problems...it's bad etc.

Technology is the new accepted porn. You can whip it out anytime & anywhere & every one is doing it!
I've seen people on dates go on their phones to check FB!
Yeah technology is worse than crack. No cure & deadly too.

recce · Apr 26, 2017 at 10:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

Why do so many people think porn is acceptable when it is so easy to fall into a addiction which is directly detrimental to relationships ?

I have 2 cases in my direct circle of friends. Two female friends of mine are considering breaking up a relationship because their boyfriends watch porn regularly.

My boyfriend lied about watching porn. To me, the main issue isn't even the 'cheating' factor. It is the fact that porn will put unnatural fantasies into his head and I know that when we are intimate he will be fantasizing about those instead of focusing on the present. Worst case, he will bring them up and want to try them and even thinking about it throws me in a fit of anger and sadness. Even worse, he will think that me, as a woman, enjoys being mistreated like actresses in these X-rated videos.
Yet everyone pretends that it is totally possible to keep fantasy separated from reality.

I have watched my fair share of these awful videos myself as a teen compulsively, because I thought it would be a mean to fix my aversion to sex.

I'm now talking from a female perspective but one of these 2 friends I mentioned stopped wanting to have sex with her boyfriend because she cannot stand the fact that he uses porn. This lead them to have an almost non-existent sex life, him to complain that their sex life is dead and resorting to use porn as a means of escape. It is a vicious circle, heavily influenced by the use of these videos.

The worst thing to me is that it is often the partner of the porn user who is blamed. The partner is told to get over it and just accept that their boyfriend/girlfriend watches porn. Then of course, the stereotypical advice that follows is 'why don't you just watch it together ? it is so much fun !'

My opinion is : These x-rated videos have created a lot of problems in our society, but people keep denying it. They are not educational, they don't bring a couple closer together. They merely destroy bonds in the long run.

What do you guys think ?

It does destroy...I feel it Porn, is like reality TV....reality they say but we all know it is not. A love intimacy between partners is much better than a mechanical, lustful, porn driven enactment.

recce · Apr 26, 2017 at 10:19 PM

Love to know more of your struggles with this ?

I agree with all you said but how to change the desire for porn when stressed, anxious, lonely , frustrated ??

jacky8807 · Apr 28, 2017 at 05:55 AM

LOVE ME SOME PORN!!!

nomnomnomnom

shakespeare47 · 02:12 PM

Do moral intuitions about porn have any bearing on the issue? At the very least, the argument, "assuming that fornication and/or adultery is immoral, then porn is immoral", is plausible.

I do also wonder about those who may acknowledge that porn isn't harmful (or not very harmful). In that case, what do they make of their conviction, "I know it isn't harmful, but I still think it's immoral"?

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2uglyforwomen Member Member Since Feb 2017 Location: NB Posts: 88 7	Feb 23, 2017 at 08:11 PM #101 How is watching porn cheating?
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wiretwister we are one Member Since Jul 2013 Location: Ky , USA Posts: 3,015 10 1,338 hugs given	Apr 21, 2017 at 06:34 PM #106 Technology is the new porn .... Amen. I think it is more addicting than crack ... and probabily has killed more people in distracted driving car wrecks ... __________________ ( PRAY FOR SOUTH KOREA ) https://www.pinterest.com/lovesoonkyu/
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recce New Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: carp Posts: 3 7	Apr 26, 2017 at 10:19 PM #109 Love to know more of your struggles with this ? I agree with all you said but how to change the desire for porn when stressed, anxious, lonely , frustrated ??
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