[ChrisHamlin1]

Hi Everyone, ChrisHamlin1 here.

I was hoping this would be a place for some advice. I have recently entered a relationship with a girl with whom I am very much in love and am already thinking out my future with her despite only being with her not even 3 months at this stage.
During Sexual Intercourse however, I am often finding it difficult to get & maintain an erection and I am very worried this will negatively effect our relationship at this early stage. I am a Diabetic and I am hoping that the issues are simply down to issues related to this as they could be treated medically.

What has prompted me to create this thread however is a persistent nagging question over whether I am bisexual or even homosexual. I have often fantasized about both men & women despite never wanting an actual relationship with men, only women and only ever been intimate with women in the past...but in recent years especially with being single for a long time I have favored fantasizing about men. I have never been intimate with a man as I have stated but recently I have even experimented with crossdressing and found that quite enjoyable and even 'kinky' I would like to find clarity that this is just a private kink/fantasy but I very much want to make sure I can find a way past this and for this to not jeopardize my future with amazing girl.

I understand there is nothing wrong with being bisexual or homosexual but I have found a girl that is offering me everything I have ever wished for in a partner and I want to if possible 'get rid' of any urges & fantasies I have that don't align with what I really want.

I am already in contact with my doctors regarding a 'check-up' to see if my ED issues are solely down to this and have an appointment in a few days as I write this...but my feelings in this regard have now become an issue that I am concerned about enough to seek help & advice.

Sorry for the essay but if anyone can help or advise then I would really appreciate this more than you'll ever know.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

I hope Chris Hamlin is not your real name.

Your ED can be down to diabetes. I would treat it and see if the treatment improves the ability to get and maintain an erection with the girl. Other issues are probably for explorations in psychotherapy, not with a medical doctor.

[divine1966]

Yes check up with your doctor re ED.

I am not sure about getting rid of urges and fantasies. Not sure it’s even possible.

Honestly fantasies often just fantasies and having fantasies and it doesn’t necessarily mean you want relationship with men. Maybe you do maybe you don’t.

Girl being amazing doesn’t necessarily means you have future with her either. Ton of amazing people might not be your dream come true. Talk to a therapist about your sexuality etc

[speckofdust]

I truly hope everything will work out the way you want it to! I'm female, so I don't know about guy problems. Feelings-wise, she might be someone you really care for, but it could be that you're not fully sexually attracted to her. Maybe that will change as the relationship moves forward. You could wait it out, or get together with doctor or two. Best of luck!

[AUTiger7222]

I've had similar issues. I've only ever been intimate with women and only ever had 2 serious relationships, one of them being a marriage (currently divorced) but I can't help myself wondering what it would be like to be intimate with a man. I don't even know if I would like it or not but I do get off sometimes watching gay or bisexual porn and I find myself practically drooling over a good looking cock and wishing I could have it in my mouth. Like I said, I don't even know if I would like it or not but I'm an extremely open minded person and have a "I'll try pretty much anything once" type approach to most things in life. I don't see myself as someone that could have a serious relationship with a man though. I think my fantasies are just something that I feel like would be put to rest if I could just get them satisfied.