Advice on same sex oral?

I don't have a sexual orientation, but if I need a label pansexual is closest to it. I've never been in a relationship with a girl and have only had a girl go down on me (she was awful) and I've never been down on a girl. I'm really, really nervous about my first time with a girl. I have no idea what to do down there. I can't say I know what girls like because I've never liked having a guy go down on me, and now if I'm in a relationship with a girl I need to figure out how to like it unless she's into strap ons. So that's two things I'm nervous about being with a girl. No, strap ons make it three. And what if she tastes bad? What if I taste bad!?!? I'm extremely nervous about all this because it's all new to me.

So, back to the question. Any advice on how to go down on a girl?

You don't have to do oral (a lot of people are shy about that, especially early into the relationship.

If you and she want do something, just gently touch, unless she does ask for oral.

the thing about sex regardless of if its same sex or not is knowing your partner and what pleases your partner. this takes communication ...before.... any sexual activity. this is the only way you will know what is pleasing and how to as you say "go down" on your girl. not everyone likes the same things.

example i could read every book out there on oral sex with a woman but that doesnt mean my wife will enjoy it. or that I will enjoy it with my wife. what counted is that we during non sexual time together discussed things in all areas of our lives, not just sexual. i knew before anything sexual happened that my wife likes the color orange, likes strawberries, hates being rushed... and much more. so when it came to having intimate time with her I made sure it was enjoyable by having soft cotton sheets, a bowl of strawberries, and we took our time in the forplay, as we went along she would tell me what she enjoyed or how she wanted me to do what, and I did the same. it got quite funny at one point because what she and I enjoyed you couldnt find online or in books. we just did things our own way in our own time.

please dont worry so much about doing it right. there is no right or wrong way. there is only what feels right for you and her. take time to talk with your girl and things will work out in what ever is best for the two of you.

Um not to be rude or anything but oral sex is a huge part, if not mostly of what lesbian sex is. its primarily oral with a bit of this and that added in. Kind of like two men having sex its primarily **** sex with a bit of this and that added in. lesbians enjoy oral sex by that I mean they enjoy the smell of a woman, taste of a woman and pleasure spots of a woman,... theres more but not sure how graphic I should get here. the point is lesbian sex is oral mostly. sometimes with toys and flavored lubes sometimes without toys and lubes.

You should google it. I believe there are detailed tutorials and even an app that gives you detailed directions. But I wouldn't know anything about that.

Actually that's quite the opposite of how I feel. I don't have pleasure spots and I don't like the way I taste unless I shower right before and no one has ever given me pleasurable oral sex. And I'm not even sure I'll even like going down on a woman. It's just something I need to get over if I want to be in a relationship with a woman.

Then again, I don't like intercourse with guys, either. Blow jobs and a*nal is just about all I get excited for.

I have no sexual orientation, and my sexuality fluctuates as often as my mood swings. I fall for women emotionally, but I doubt I could actually have sex with a woman. It's beyond my comfort level.

Don't get me wrong, girls turn me on almost more than guys do. I remember I held off on sex until I was 21, and when I did it I felt like chickening out, but once I did it I was in love. Blow jobs are still my all time favorite thing to do. Maybe it'd be the same with women. Maybe the first time I'll feel like chickening out and then it turns out I love it. Not so sure about that one...

LL are you sure your not on the Asexual spectrum.
Do you ever have that burn,ache to be taken or take, to bury yourself messy deep into another human being? Like the only thing that will make the ache go away is the touch of another person? That their taste their smell makes you need to touch them?

Or is it more that you enjoy reading about it,thinking about it,cuddling and kissing but the sex bit you could take it or leave it?
I am just a little concerned about your attitude.
No one should feel like sex is something they have to get on with.
It could be you have just had cruddy experiences so far of course.

Don't worry to much and see where the chemistry takes you if there is any.

It took me a long time to find my orientation, for a long time because like you I had no preference that made me pan or at least bi.

Infact it was the opposite, I can be attracted to all genders, but I have zero sexual desire of my own.I can enjoy their company,find them appealing, want to be close and even intimate to a point. But not sexual.
I am attracted to the individuality the gender, or type.

I sleep with my fella, because I love him, because he fulfills my D/s needs. And I keep him out of trouble.
(Stuff not for here)

I don't know if any of this rings true for you.Or if perhaps as I said before you have had very poor previous experiences.
But I would be as certain as possible before it comes to that point,because as someone already said.
It's all about the cunilingus.

P.s, also love giving head. Why? Cos it's intimate for him but not for me.
I am in the driving seat, and it's a quick way to get the sex stuff outta the way. Lol.

I might be asexual. I have a high sex drive but I prefer to fulfill them with my own fantasies during masturbation. I really only like to give blow jobs because I have full control, and I've only done a*nal during masturbation. Intercourse I just lie there and past partners have done absolutely nothing to please me, just get off without any effort to make it pleasurable for me. I've only orgasmed by my own hand, and I can't make myself come through fingering the clitoris (I need to use a pillow to rub myself with in order to orgasm), I've never orgasmed with intercourse via dildo, and with a*nal my arm gets tired before I can orgasm. And when I masturbate I have to fantasize about brutal DT gagging or rape fantasies in order to orgasm.

My mom always told me I never liked to cuddle as a child, and to this day I don't like to be touched. I've never been raped or molested or abused. My nipples are extremely sensitive to touch and I hate pinching, squeezing, biting, licking. I've only had one or two partners successfully suck my nipples and made it feel good, and I do have fantasies where one of my characters come to me to "nurse" him and it's very gentle. However, my nipples aren't sensitive to my touch. When I have guys finger my clitoris I feel like I need to pee or that I feel painfully tickled. Intercourse is the same way, it feels excruciatingly painful, but not an "ow" painful, more like I'm being tickled to dearh.

I think my problem is I have to have 110% control. I can't get that with intercourse because it's the man's job to do the work and I feel like I just lie there while he does what he needs to do. That's why I love blow jobs, I have 110% control over giving him the blow job. And in receiving oral my speech tends to be limited as to instruct him in how I'd like it. So I might like going down on a girl because I'll have 110% control, but I much prefer the way a penis feels inside my mouth. Also, my biggest fantasy involves having a penis and in a relationship I want to use a strap-on as it turns me on to watch a man give oral and then to have full control while giving a*nal sex. I may have a touch of transgender, but no desire to change my sex.

I googled asexual. I'm happy having no sexual orientation. I prefer not to be labeled and to love who I love. Trying to slap on an orientation is just too daunting to me.

Totally respect,that choice. I picked ACE to describe myself as it the closest I can get to explaining to others. Eugh.
But no, a high sex drive pretty much rules out any chance your asexu
Your fantasies pretty much describe me and my partners sex life. Except, I sub,so control is something I gladly concede


It's hard to tell from what your saying wether you have a physical issue with intercourse, or just bloody awful experiences have now caused you to be apprehensive about penetration, or people touching you at all.

Also masturbation, as fun as it is, can get you into a fixed pattern of how to bring yourself off, and if you do that a lot, it becomes damn near impossible to achieve an orgasm any other way.
So maybe if your seeing somebody new take a break from the self fulfilment.
I do hope it works out well, and your relationship blossoms. I am certain that once your over the unknown factor you will be fine. Just take your time getting there.

Thank you for all your input. Very insightful and much appreciated.

I may identify as demisexual. I havent had a relationship, but i may only be comfortable with someone i have a close emotional bond. The closest pleasurable sex has been with someone i not only close to but emotionally involved with and had reciprocated feelings. My "best" sex was my first time with my best friend who was gay and curious about women. What made it great was we were best friends and loved and trusted each other and we spent the entire time laughing so no pressure, and both of us were new to sex so we were on the same level.

Also, big question: Do you think if I changed my fantasies it could make live sex more pleasurable? Lately, I've been trying to masturbate to more gentler fantasies. It's hard, but what usually goes down is I try to picture gentle sex, get a little rougher if it doesn't work, then try to focus on the gentler sex, back and forth until right as I climax I go back to the image of the gentler sex. Because I've had intense fantasies my whole life, I may expect live sex to be much more intense than it is, and perhaps I just can't come unless a) I'm in control and b) it's intense. But if I practice gentler fantasies, maybe it might be easier to orgasm with a partner if I train my mind to be open to gentler live sex? If that makes sense?

I will be honest LL fantasies and preferences are deeply ingrained. However in most cases fantasies are just that and often sharing them with your partner can be very arousing even if your not acting them out.
If you think about it 60% of your arousal maybe more is mental, so I certainly think it's possible to widen the the range of things that turn you on.
Usually abstinence is the quickest way to lower the level of stimulation you need.
That applies for mental stimulation too.

If that is truly how you feel, it's probably best not to pursue dating women. Or, at the very least, make that known up front to anyone you might interact with online. It would be disrespectual to go on a series of dates with an out lesbian unless she knows that upfront and can choose whether or not she is willing to put herself in that position. otherwise, she might feel like an "experiment" or like she is being misled. Because it's so common for bi-curious girls to sign up for dating sites and "try out" dating a woman, it can extremely difficult for out lesbians to find one another and avoid being with someone who is only "curious." Just make sure you state up-front what your experience and expectations are so that you don't lead on a lesbian looking for a relationship.

in my earlier post I mentioned womens pleasure spots.. not all the places that give women pleasure are "down there" for example a woman will enjoy back and neck massages where as most if not all men it does not bring them any sexual pleasure to have their neck massaged. why because most men go through times in their lives where due to work requirements or comfort they have to shave their necks and wear hear above their neck line. their necks are exposed in some way so their necks dont always develop that same skin texture with sensitive nerves behind the neck or behind the ears. close to the jaw line. most men past puberty their skin is that roughness of course whiskers and "5 o'clock shadow" another pleasure spot for women is the lower back, and another place on a female body that most find to be a pleasure spot is the arch of their feet and the webbing like part of the hands between the thumb and forefinger. a womans thighs, belly button and scalp too are pleasure spots....

my point is on a female body there are many different spots on the body that gives a woman that intense MMnnnnn a little to the left please, aaahhh right there, that feels sooo good right there kind of feeling.

suggestion to anyone who doesnt know where their own pleasure spots are the next time you are taking your shower or bath take time in the process to notice whats going on and how it makes your body feel. that will tell you where your "pleasure spots" on your body are.

I agree with the other poster.. since actual intercourse of both male and females is a turn off for you then right now maybe dating isnt the right thing for you. most people go out on dates for the relationships and building into a sexual relationship. entering into a date with out informing the person you cringe and get turned off with anything sexual is not a good thing to do to someone.

suggestion maybe this girl you want to date and you can sit down and talk about what each expects out of the relationship, this way you both will be able to make an informed decision as to whether you want to go on a romantic date together that will be cut short and leaving one possibly hanging with dis satisfaction, or just continue to be friends.