I wonder if my sex drive is due to my bipolar illness

In his place, never having been diagnosed with Asperger's, I probably wouldn’t admit to it, either.

I really think that you may be tying this diagnosis on your friend, perhaps, because you’ve not revealed your BPID to him?

He sounds like an interesting guy. Has he completed his doctoral coursework?

Yes, he is a full-fledged doctorate. He is very bright. But, truthfully, I am getting busy learning Japanese again and may not have time to see him anymore. We speak in English when we meet. I want to immerse myself in Japanese from now on. I like him but he is too aloof for me at times. He is not emotionally involved with me. I am not that emotionally involved with him either. We were just sex buddies. I think he wants it to remain this way. I will let him go. For me, learning Japanese is more important than thinking about him. Sometimes, one has to focus on priorities. At least, he is always focused on his work so he knows his priorities. I was the one who was getting attached. But, now I feel my work is more important. I will live with the memories and forge onward.

I am no longer as horny as I was before. It may be due to my age. I am 50 years old. I don't feel the need for a lover anymore. I am happy.

The man with Asperger's wrote me. I wished him a Happy Birthday and he said thank you. I was surprised and did not expect him to write. I think he wants to see me again. I was ready to write him off because he never writes usually due to his obsession with work. But, he wrote me. I am so excited!! I'm such a dummy for him. He is a genius. When we are together he talks about his work, politics, languages, other esoteric subjects, and I'm smitten. Yup, he just meets me for sex, and I am so charmed by his wit. It is like being with a robot at times. He writes one word or two, and I feel overwhelmed. Oh well, I like him. He's good in bed too. What an idiot I am!!

Mmm. That’s just weird. You weren’t in a manic phase when you had a high “sex drive,” and, now, you’ve shed your libido for... what?

Listen: every human needs touch. If you have had a history of being a normal, sexual human, you know that genitals need to feel touch occasionally.

I read a wonderful book - What Dying People Want - and “touch” was #1 on the list. Naturally, the dying (usually catheterized) don’t always want genital stimulation - but I know of some who have.

My hope is that you will not forego touch. Not at 50, not at 80. My need for sex is latent during the week but comes alive on weekends. I find it... delicious... that sex takes so much longer, now. Maybe you’ll become horny again with the right stimulus?

Now - has this man been diagnosed with Asperger’s by a professional or is that your diagnosis? I find that placing stigmas on others can be detrimental and, sometimes, dangerous.

Yes, it does seem that you would be thrilled to have your friend write to you - usually that means that he wants to keep communication alive - and you were excited.

If he discusses (or is it a one-way diatribe?) these... esoteric subjects... and you’re smitten by his knowledge, is that a bad thing? It really doesn’t sound as if he’s meeting you solely for sex? You say that you are charmed by his wit and I assume that you mean in bed and out.

When you say that your friend is ‘good in bed’ do you mean that he satisfies you sexually? Are you prepared to give that up as you become a novitiate at the Our Lady of Perpetual Motion convent?

You do seem to be roller-coastering from day-to-day. That isn’t really healthy, you know. Do you see a shrink or a PhD therapist? If so, I would encourage you to talk to them about the highs and lows. You may be in an über-cycling-pattern.

My personal opinion is that someone with Asperger’s could not be as witty, smart and charming as your friend.

I decided not to meet the phD man anymore. I feel as if he is using me for just sex. I found another man who is older and treats me well. He met me last night and did not want sex. I like him. We talked and had a good time. I feel no need for sex but the need to be liked and appreciated.

Most definitely. I can go 3 months without sex, but then when my mania sets in ... I can have sex 6 times a day. My record was 11 times in one day.

^ Memories... I dated someone once. He kept up with me sexually. It was great!

Now I have no partner and no orgasms.

It seems the elderly man is not interested in me since he is ghosting me, that is, ignoring my texts and messages. This is probably the reason he was not interested in having sex because he was never interested in me in the first place. Thus, I blocked him him everywhere and am not interested in hearing from him again. I am still talking to the man with bipolar. I feel for him because he and I have bipolar. He has ED but if we have sex again I will buy a vibrator and have fun with him. I am not talking to the phD man anymore because he only talks when he wants sex. I can get more attention from a dog than from him. I want to be liked and so far only the man with bipolar talks to me and gives me attention which I crave. He is very good-looking too which helps. We can overcome his ED together. I am dumb to think that a man who is nice in person will always be nice to me. It isn't the case at all. The man with bipolar is nice but, of course, was mad at me for not wanting sex a long time ago. But, he still talks to me. He gives me attention. He has many health problems but I told him to take care of himself because without his health, he can't do much of anything. I am surprised we still talk after all this time. Although I turned him down for sex once, he still talks to me. We had sex before my turning him down. I was getting tired of his ED so had sex with the phD man. But, I finally realize sex is not everything to me. I want to be liked too as a person. ED is not his fault. So, where is the vibrator?

So, the bipolar man is not that interested in me either. I met another man online. He lives in the States. I live in Japan. So, we will meet when he comes here. We might not meet for several months. This is ok. I met the bipolar man and the elderly man on a whim and it did not turn out well. This time I can wait until we meet. I am hoping we will last until he comes.

Well, that sucks.

I have a number of partners, now, but only see them - usually - on weekends.

For a very long time I thought that I was impotent. I am not.

I am just out of the hospital for edema brought on by pneumonia. I still have a spot in my right lung. I am on bed rest. My iPad is being repaired and all that I have is this iPhone.

And orgasms. I have only orgasms.

I am meeting the man online during Christmas week. He is coming all the way from America. I used to live near him in the next state. But, I am touched that he is coming to meet me. We are going take tour of love hotels and visit the tourist spots in the city. I am bit nervous about meeting him though. We write to each other daily and we saw each other on videocam. He looks good. He likes the way I look too. But, meeting him will be a decisive factor. We have much in common but still have much to learn about each other. I am going to take it one day at a time.