[jl_234]

Hello all, I've considered using the ask the therapist tool for this issue but it will be really helpful for me to have some answers sooner regarding my problem.

So I'm a 23 yo girl and my brother is 30, he is always been touchy freely with me and my mom, they were quite intimate about it actually, personally I never saw it as a sexual approach, but I'm a person who gets really uncomfortable with being touched by certain people so when he shows that kind of affection -in a much mild way that he did with my mom- I can't help but think that it is indeed a sexual intent. There is nothing too highly sexual about the touching tho, he might keep his hand laying on my waist and *** for a few seconds, no hugging but he does that thing of grabbing my sides, and sometimes that will prompt to barely touch the side of my chest. Not of these things come in a grabby way of touching nor caressing, it is simply leaving the hand there for a few seconds.

To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm trying to not make it sound so bad or if I'm trying to describe things as clearly as it happens. I'm quite confused here and I don't want to make a big fuss over nothing but I sure don't want to overlook a bigger problem either.

I should add that my mother passed away last year, so I wonder if he misses that kind of contact he had in the past? Because as I remember he used to show affection to me, yeah, but not as common as now.

I tried to adress the situation the best I could, things might be over the place because english is not my main language, but I hope most of it could be clear. I'd appreciate some honest opinions about this and if any of you have experienced the same. Thank you

[All Is Revealed]

Only you can define what's inappropriate. If someone touches you and you feel uncomfortable, then it's definitely inappropriate.

For example, I've been touched sexually by people (men and women) and I was ok with that because they were physically attractive. However, I find it inappropriate when someone I don't like touches me in any way.

I agree: if you are uncomfortable with the manner of being touched by your brother, let him know. Maybe he means no harm, his ‘affectionate hugging’ a sincere way of showing his love. But, maybe, there is something creepy going on. If you feel that there is, tell him of your discomfort.