TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape - Forums at Psych Central


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Old 11-08-2017, 11:34 PM #1
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Trig TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

Hi I'm a trans man. My friend keeps talking about how he watches rape porn and how he fantasizes about raping people he knows. He touches me with out my consent and stuff but I'm so lonely I have barely any friends. The most triggering thing is he knows i identify as a guy but he compares me to woman and keeps calling my she. He just sent me a bdsm image of a girl tied up and he said this you? Anyways I just feel unsafe sometimes. But at the same time i can't develop healthy relationships. Any help or tips ?
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Old 11-09-2017, 09:57 AM #2
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

That sounds like a very frightening situation. Are you in therapy? Can you discuss this with your therapist?
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Old 11-09-2017, 01:06 PM #3
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

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Originally Posted by Breadfish View Post
That sounds like a very frightening situation. Are you in therapy? Can you discuss this with your therapist?
I just got a therapist going to see them soon, problem is i have extreme trust issues with therapists because my last therapist threaten to tell my parents and police about a different situation i was in. Also have had parents call cops on me. So the internet is the only place i can confide in anyone
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Old 11-09-2017, 07:03 PM #4
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

The way you describe this makes it seem like you are afraid and that is not okay. Please think about yourself, your safety, and well being. Are you keeping a record of what this friend is saying, doing, and showing you? If it gets so bad then this record is important in showing that this has been happening for some time.

Talk about this with your therapist. I do not know your age, but if you are an adult then you are the one who decides whether or not your parents are in the loop. A good therapist is on your side and will hopefully have more ideas to keep you safe and happy.

But please please please. If you are not feeling safe, do not stay in the situation. You are the most important person in your friendships. If you need to leave a situation, you leave. Tell this friend that you do not like it when they call you, "she" and if this friend continues to do so, they are not a good friend.

Talk to your therapist, be open to communication, and please keep yourself safe.
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Old 11-11-2017, 11:26 AM #5
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

I agree with the above info too.

I think you need to set some boundaries with this friend. One being what pronoun you like to be called.
Second would be a boundary on touch. When is it ok & when is it not?
And another one on images that are being sent to you. No matter how you identify, it's not appropriate to send images like this to anyone....as a suggestion.
You deserve better! Respect yourself & ask for what you want.
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Old 11-18-2017, 02:05 PM #6
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

Quote:
Originally Posted by xavier.s View Post
Hi I'm a trans man. My friend keeps talking about how he watches rape porn and how he fantasizes about raping people he knows. He touches me with out my consent and stuff but I'm so lonely I have barely any friends. The most triggering thing is he knows i identify as a guy but he compares me to woman and keeps calling my she. He just sent me a bdsm image of a girl tied up and he said this you? Anyways I just feel unsafe sometimes. But at the same time i can't develop healthy relationships. Any help or tips ?
You can tell him you're not comfortable with him touching you. The more you stay silent, the more he will touch you. Or you can cut all contact with him. Talk of rape is not healthy. It's not even a mentally normal conversation.
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Old 11-26-2017, 07:38 PM #7
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

My advice is to cut ties with this person and then block him on all media.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:58 PM #8
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

I don't think this is a safe relationship. It is not OK to for someone to disregard your boundaries.

I think you need to work on finding another friend.
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Old 11-27-2017, 10:25 PM #9
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Default Re: TW: friend talks about fantasies of rape

Ditch the friend and move on. This friend's fantasies are no longer fantasies.
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