advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Carmina
Poohbah
 
Carmina's Avatar
Carmina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
Posts: 1,158
5 yr Member
129 hugs
given
Default Jan 23, 2018 at 06:52 PM
  #1
Sorry but not posting this in the men forum as it says 'men only' which I don't agree with - women feel free to offer your perspective too even if the question itself is to guys.

When I was married I had big problems with sharing a bed because I tend to startle easily when touched, and this not only made it hard to sleep but occasionally I would instinctively push my partner away, especially if I was half asleep when it happened. Over time I also found myself getting more closed down sexually and didn't want to be touched or have sex, but sometimes if I was asleep I would find myself waking and having sex without having initiated, apparently because I responded physically to my wife's touch while asleep enough to get aroused (possibly I was having an erotic dream too?) and I guess she 'climbed on' thinking I was present when I wasn't - but then when I woke up and sort of found myself there my instinct was to want to push her off because I didn't really want it and it was quite scary actually but I couldn't do that without hurting her so just went along with it but since I wasn't into it really I would fake coming to bring things to an end on my part without making her feel bad, or sometimes then focus on helping her come too if that was still needed.

I always thought that this was pretty rare for guys but I have read recently that it's more common than was thought and that it's a bit of a myth that guys can't fake orgasms because of the link between orgasm and ejaculation but actually that is not the case.

btw this is one reason why I don't like to sleep regularly with women as I get afraid of sharing a bed and these things happening again (even though paradoxically I do miss the intimacy of sex on an emotional level but I need it to be very carefully paced and a lot of people don't know how to do that).
Carmina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Sassandclass
Veteran Member
Sassandclass has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: New Brunswick
Posts: 673
5 yr Member
Default Jan 23, 2018 at 09:13 PM
  #2
This is really interesting. I’ll have to ask my husband if he’s ever faked an orgasm. I’ve never done it with him though. If I’m not getting “there” I just say so. I guess I feel like there’s no point in lying 🤷🏻*♀️ sometimes ya just can’t go for whatever reason. It’s nobody’s fault. Just the way human bodies sometimes work.
Sassandclass is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous50909
Guest
Anonymous50909 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 24, 2018 at 12:33 AM
  #3
I asked my husband and he said he didn't know men could fake it. Shrug. I know I have faked it before I was married. Trying to make guys feel better about themselves.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
amicus_curiae
Grand Member
 
amicus_curiae's Avatar
amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: I wish they all could be California gurls...
Posts: 992
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
Default Jan 24, 2018 at 08:55 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadGirl View Post
I asked my husband and he said he didn't know men could fake it. Shrug. I know I have faked it before I was married. Trying to make guys feel better about themselves.
Um, yeah, me too, like, before I was married. Then after.

Pretty much for the same reason - tryin’ to make girls feel better about themselves.

Okay. First time at 19 or 20 and I meet this French girl in a pub. I was with a group and she was tragically alone and punk and pretty. When the closing bell rang we went back to my flat to, ostensibly, smoke some weed and these were the years way, way before HIV/AIDS but when every woman was on the Pill and we (meaning ‘we men’) didn’t keep condoms on hand but expected girls to, like I said, be on the Pill.

I cannot recall this girl’s name to save the Pope’s life (no, I am not harboring the Pope) but she fell into one of my four ‘types’ and I was not an underarm hair novice but, my god, the odor of decaying corpses hit me and I realized that the French are not as concerned about hygiene as we American ex-pats. I soldiered on, though, and faked an orgasm. Some men spend copiously and some do not and I think that she bought my fake orgasm.

When I was 39 I met a woman, Karen, during my first trip to a lavish - mint on the pillow lavish - private mental health facility. Karen was also 39. You may or may not realize how the most attractive and interesting two people in a crowd dance toward one another? Even if you are both coupled, you’re drawn to the other. It’s like some effed-up magic.

In retrospect I can say that hooking up in a mental health facility isn’t, um, smart. My real girlfriend (who I found on Facebook! Back when I looked at Facebook!) was 19-20 at that time and the oldest person that I had slept with would have been my ex-wife, at 32. I had no sexual experiences with women of my own age. But Karen was really attractive - for 39 - and looked to be as fit as one can look in lounging clothes.

So, it’s our third night together and she comes to my room (long story) and we start making out, etc., and I’m a ‘lights on’ person and I see, for the first time, the sagging and patterned and leathered breasts of an old woman. Jeez. Even the skin on her inner thighs sagged. Clothed, she looked the part of Someone’s Nordic Mistress. She had some really nice junk (what are women calling their junk these days?) and I was able to serve my country but I could not then or forevermore come for Karen. Maybe faked it one dozen times?

Yes. I have faked an orgasm 13 times (close enough). In 10 trysts, not 13 during one sitting.

__________________
amicus_curiae

Contrarian, esq.
Hypergraphia

Someone must be right; it may as well be me.

I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid.
—Donnie Smith—
amicus_curiae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Carmina
Poohbah
 
Carmina's Avatar
Carmina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
Posts: 1,158
5 yr Member
129 hugs
given
Default Jan 24, 2018 at 04:21 PM
  #5
For me it was more just wanting to get it over with in a way that didn't hurt my wife's feelings.
Carmina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
amicus_curiae
Grand Member
 
amicus_curiae's Avatar
amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: I wish they all could be California gurls...
Posts: 992
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 01:52 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina View Post
For me it was more just wanting to get it over with in a way that didn't hurt my wife's feelings.
You faked an orgasm with your wife???

I must have missed that in your original message.

No, no, no. In the time between meeting my wife and marriage we engaged in intercourse hundreds of times. Hundreds and hundreds. She would have known - absolutely and with forensic surety - had I attempted to fake an orgasm with her.

Um, I don’t think that I could have faked an orgasm with any, uh, thrice-laid women. The whole copious load thing and all.

As males I believe that we assume that we could spot a woman’s fake orgasm. Even after that Meg Ryan diner scene in whatever film. I’m certain that I have been victimized by women’s faked orgasms. The odds favor it.

I would still like to know the current term for women’s junk. My partner and I use the same terms that we used in high school. We are so very ‘70’s.

__________________
amicus_curiae

Contrarian, esq.
Hypergraphia

Someone must be right; it may as well be me.

I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid.
—Donnie Smith—
amicus_curiae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
gmts
Member
gmts has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Germany
Posts: 205
5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 04:20 AM
  #7
It rarely happened to me that I wasn't able to come. And when it happened, well, so what. How *can* you even fake it when there is no sperm around?
I know women aren't happy about it, but hey, if you come 99 times out of 100, then she shouldn't have any doubts of her attractiveness.
gmts is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
Carmina
Poohbah
 
Carmina's Avatar
Carmina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
Posts: 1,158
5 yr Member
129 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 06:18 AM
  #8
This is a myth, it’s not at all difficult to fake if you are using condoms for example (who checks inside them?). Plus most men produce some ejaculate as they go along, and so do women of course, so there is usually something fluid there. Also ejaculation and orgasm in men are not quite as connected as people think, you can have one without the other.
Carmina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
gmts
Member
gmts has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Germany
Posts: 205
5 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 11:26 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina View Post
it’s not at all difficult to fake if you are using condoms for example (who checks inside them?)
I do. Always. It's a common routine for me afterwards to squeeze the tip of the condom to see if it is intact. My woman expects me to do that since she has a vital interest in there, too ....

And when I peel off the condom and the tip of my penis is bone dry ... let's say, if she is paying attention she would most likely notice.

But anyway, if I never or only rarely come, then I (or we) have a problem that needs to be discussed or handled. If it only happens once in a while, the'll have to accept it. Just like people aren't just always in the mood.
gmts is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
shakespeare47
Grand Magnate
 
shakespeare47's Avatar
shakespeare47 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
8 yr Member
437 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 01:04 PM
  #10
Never faked an orgasm. Never even considered it. I'm so used to the messiness of an ejaculation that I couldn't even try to fake an orgasm off with a straight face.

__________________
My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley

Last edited by shakespeare47; Jan 25, 2018 at 01:55 PM..
shakespeare47 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous50909
Guest
Anonymous50909 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 25, 2018 at 01:34 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by amicus_curiae View Post

So, it’s our third night together and she comes to my room (long story) and we start making out, etc., and I’m a ‘lights on’ person and I see, for the first time, the sagging and patterned and leathered breasts of an old woman. Jeez. Even the skin on her inner thighs sagged. Clothed, she looked the part of Someone’s Nordic Mistress. She had some really nice junk (what are women calling their junk these days?) and I was able to serve my country but I could not then or forevermore come for Karen. Maybe faked it one dozen times?

Yes. I have faked an orgasm 13 times (close enough). In 10 trysts, not 13 during one sitting.
I don't know if I'm amused or horrified at this. Lol. I'm not yet 39 but considering if I'm leathery and saggy now. Okay not really. Everyone gets old. Men too. Bodies change, but it doesn't mean bad.

As for women's junk, I could advise you on that, but I think PC would star out my term. Lol.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
Patagonia
Grand Magnate
 
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Pessimistic cynic. Beware
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 yr Member
77 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 27, 2018 at 10:14 AM
  #12
I know there is a difference between an orgasm & ejaculating with men. At least in my sexual experience.

I had a partner that experienced whole body orgasms which he trained himself to have using tantric energy. He would not ejaculate at all during sex.

He explained to me one time that he could easily ejaculate, but would lose energy from this & experiencing body orgasms was far more pleasurable. These orgasms would go on for several minutes & roll thru his entire body & he could work them thru his body again & again experiencing these orgasms....for awhile! Almost made me jealous. I was amazed by this information & started to read more about tantric sex & chakra energy.
I was raised to understand a sexual encounter as “petting, penetration & orgasm.” But my philosophies have changed a great deal now.

So as a female I’ve never experienced a male “faking” it, I’m guessing you mean ejaculating.
I’ve often questioned whether women can actually “feel” an ejaculation from a man. I can not. But I’ve read that some women can. Idk.

__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Patagonia is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Sassandclass
Patagonia
Grand Magnate
 
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Pessimistic cynic. Beware
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
10 yr Member
77 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 27, 2018 at 10:46 AM
  #13
The term “leathery & saggy” tells me you are/were young perhaps (???)& do not respect what women’s bodies go thru as a female warrior. Our naked bodies tell another a great deal.
Maybe this person had a big drop in weight which can cause skin to sag. Or maybe this person birthed children into this world.
I guess men can close their eyes & fantasize about air brushed pics they see while they have sex. If men do it, well guess what women do too.

As for women’s junk....basic anatomy words are best. IMHO, To me it shows a sign of intelligence, respect for another & research was done. Now pet names or code words....lol yeah I get that.

__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Patagonia is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*
amicus_curiae
Grand Member
 
amicus_curiae's Avatar
amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: I wish they all could be California gurls...
Posts: 992
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
Default Jan 27, 2018 at 11:07 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSadGirl View Post
I don't know if I'm amused or horrified at this. Lol. I'm not yet 39 but considering if I'm leathery and saggy now. Okay not really. Everyone gets old. Men too. Bodies change, but it doesn't mean bad.

As for women's junk, I could advise you on that, but I think PC would star out my term. Lol.
Golly - I know my body has changed! I saw 39... a long, long time back. Since that time, I’ve come to appreciate aged bodies! My first - it was just such a shock, I guess. My own - bony and scarred, my hands so wrinkled! I’m body-proud, though; always have been.

Men my age look at Robin Wright and wonder why all women don’t look the same.

We still use the pink hat word for non-specific ‘down there.’

(I’m supposed to be watching a movie but it is sooooo boring!)

__________________
amicus_curiae

Contrarian, esq.
Hypergraphia

Someone must be right; it may as well be me.

I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid.
—Donnie Smith—
amicus_curiae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
amicus_curiae
Grand Member
 
amicus_curiae's Avatar
amicus_curiae Me. As an undergrad. Not a good likeness. But me, nonetheless.
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: I wish they all could be California gurls...
Posts: 992
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 01:11 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia View Post
The term “leathery & saggy” tells me you are/were young perhaps (???)& do not respect what women’s bodies go thru as a female warrior. Our naked bodies tell another a great deal.

Maybe this person had a big drop in weight which can cause skin to sag. Or maybe this person birthed children into this world.

I guess men can close their eyes & fantasize about air brushed pics they see while they have sex. If men do it, well guess what women do too.

As for women’s junk....basic anatomy words are best. IMHO, To me it shows a sign of intelligence, respect for another & research was done. Now pet names or code words....lol yeah I get that.
Gosh! No, I was 39, she was 39. The oldest woman I’d ever had sex with, previously, had been 32. It was just that encounter that came as a shock! A learning experience, ya know? And, yes, she had four daughters. And, no, at 39, my aged body was nothing like my 23-year-old body!

Do you know... I have never ‘imagined’ having sex with anyone except the people with whom I am having sex. I thought for ages that that was a sort of male myth... but I found (rather rudely) that men and, yes, women can both be prone to that peculiar artifice. I find it odd; because it has never occurred to me to do the same... just something that I don’t ‘get.’

Ya know... I’m an eye-contact during sex person. Lovers have commented on that, some negatively. Maybe that is another reason that I can’t conjure others whilst loving Jane, Nancy, Stephanie, Laura, Lisa, Jodi, sweet Martha.

As I wrote, my partner and I still use the pink hat term for quarters below deck... and I feel like a real dyno-gyno sometimes with my knowledge of the female anatomy but I don’t always fall back upon the Latin when in the throes of passion!

I love my partner’s 60-year-old body. Or am I more addicted to her 60-year-old wisdom? Both. I love the girl! I’m missing her, now. She keeps my psychosis at bay. Without her here... things change quickly. Never thought of faking an org with her, no, no, no!

__________________
amicus_curiae

Contrarian, esq.
Hypergraphia

Someone must be right; it may as well be me.

I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid.
—Donnie Smith—
amicus_curiae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
*Laurie*
Account Suspended
*Laurie* has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: California Uber Alles
Posts: 9,150 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
5,382 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 12:14 PM
  #16
There is no way on God's green earth that I would NOT know if a man I was with faked an orgasm.
*Laurie* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
LittleEarthquakes
Grand Member
 
LittleEarthquakes's Avatar
LittleEarthquakes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 771
8 yr Member
111 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 01:47 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by amicus_curiae View Post

I would still like to know the current term for women’s junk. My partner and I use the same terms that we used in high school. We are so very ‘70’s.
The correct terms would be vagina and labia. Pretty sure that's been the names of them for a very long time
LittleEarthquakes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, Patagonia
Anonymous87914
Guest
Anonymous87914 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 01:49 PM
  #18
Yes, I am a woman and I have faked an orgasm.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous50909
Guest
Anonymous50909 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 02:05 PM
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleEarthquakes View Post
The correct terms would be vagina and labia. Pretty sure that's been the names of them for a very long time
Lol. Technically true, but those are not the terms I would use. Lmao.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
RubyRae
Grand Member
RubyRae has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 857
5 yr Member
455 hugs
given
Default Jan 29, 2018 at 02:21 PM
  #20
My husband faked it once and it was obvious.

How could it not be obvious when no condom is used?Haven't we all been through what happens once we stand up?Haven't we all made that walk to the bathroom with our legs tightly squeezed together,trying to hold it in until we can clean ourselves?
RubyRae is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Laurie*, amandalouise, amicus_curiae, notz, shakespeare47
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:57 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.