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Member Since Apr 2018
Location: EU
Posts: 2
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#1
This was not an easy thread to post. When I was thinking about posting this thread I felt extremely uncomfortable. But I guess my sense of curiosity and desire for knowledge overwhelmed me. There is so much I could say, but in the interests of keeping it concise and so that I do not type up my life story, I will keep it brief.
In short, I want to know if there is something wrong with me. I am a straight male. I sometimes experience sexual arousal from being humiliated by women, particularly women of authority. I ask that you do not judge me because the things I reveal in this thread I would never say to anyone, including any psychologist or counsellor - I simply do not trust them. To be clear, I have no criminal record and currently work a white-collar office job. A lot of people see me as quite normal. 1. The earliest experience I can think of is when I was a teenager. I remember that my parents called the police for a general noise disturbance issue (nothing bad) - and some police officers attended our house. My father had hit me, but it was nothing serious. I didn't suffer any permanent damage or anything. So I called the police. (Please note that I do not have any grudge towards my parents now). One of them was a female police officer and was extremely abusive to me. I explained that my father had hit me. She called me a liar and it made me really upset and humiliated and angry, but I knew there was nothing I could do. She was a police officer, so I sucked it up and sobbed. That night when I went to sleep I felt a strange sensation, almost a change in my mind. I somehow found that experience quite arousing, although at the time I wasn't acutely aware of it. I just knew that there was something about that shocking and traumatic experience that transformed itself into something more pleasurable, something my mind could more easily process - as if I was somehow blocking out the trauma. 2. There was another experience when the police were called to our house, again for similar reasons. No offences were committed or anything - just a general disturbance. One of the police officers was also a female. I was quite upset at the time and was quite angry. She came up to me and sat on my bed and talked to me. She was extremely nice. She asked if I go to school... and then if had a girlfriend yet. She was extremely kind. I remember the word "yet" -- maybe she found me attractive. I was maybe a teenager at the time. I said no. I think that she called me handsome or something, and she was rather affectionate. At the time I felt nothing of it. It meant nothing to me. But whenever I think back of that memory it always makes me appreciate that back then perhaps I wasn't that bad looking. That feeling of affection from a woman was really lovely. And she wasn't that bad-looking either. 3. I often have strange feelings when I see female police officers. I often feel aroused by them and fantasise about being subjected to humilating and grading strip searches by them (and have it filmed by other women who laugh at me). I am not sure what kind of fetish this is, but it really turns me on, the idea of being totally humiliated and destroyed, to be put in a vulnerable position where I am exposed. Is there anything wrong with me? |
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#2
Absolutely nothing wrong with you. Look into BDSM and specifically submissive males, dominant females, madams and dominatrix. There are many people with the same fetish.
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amicus_curiae
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Grand Member
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: The Depths of Sadness
Posts: 800
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#3
TSG is right. You kind of remind me of me in some ways. At age 14 I saw a crossdresser on TV who really looked like a woman and soon after began to have crossdressing fantasies in which I was was dominated by mean women in some way.
When the arousal was gone I felt totally back to my regular self. In later years the fantasies went away then returned for a short time and went away again. Today I consider myself to be a sadomasochist. While more dominant and sadistic I do enjoy pain and the idea of heavy bondage but, no humilation or perhaps maybe a different type of humiliation than the standard but, that's just me. I wouldn't be ashamed of it. It's just something that revs your engine. We don't always know why some things are attractive to us. We just know that they are and that it can be a theraputic outlet for pent up frustrations. I suggest you do a web search on BDSM and fetish forums, lurk for a few months and then, join. You may make a lot of interesting friends. |
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: I wish they all could be California gurls...
Posts: 992
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#4
Nope, nothing wrong with you. I’m with TheSadGirl —you might really enjoy the authority and humiliation that a dom woman could dish out! All manner and variety of dom women — sure to find one to your liking.
Even in my small town we have a terrific BDSM ‘club.’ They’re affiliated with clubs across the world. Entry is restrictive but not horribly so. Much more deep background needed for single males, too. Still, you might be invited to a ‘scenes’ party where you’ll find (exhibitionists) engaged in sex of more uncommon natures. You never — never! — attempt to join a scene (unless invited — and, for goodness sake, don’t reach out and touch!). Feel free to get in touch with your sexuality! __________________ amicus_curiae Contrarian, esq. Hypergraphia Someone must be right; it may as well be me. I used to be smart but now I’m just stupid. —Donnie Smith— |
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