I am very sexually confused

So I like women and mens bodies but mostly women. The thought of touching a vagina is gross though but on an emotional level I am not interested in men only women. On a sexual level i dont mind touching a penis. I like boobs though. Basically i connect emotionally with women and think they are sexy just vaginas are off limits. Emotionally i dont think men so while i like penises i cant get emotionally close enough with men to enjoy sex. Also too I am attracted to children but dont want to have sex with them but look at them sexually and connect with them emotionally. What the hell is wrong with me?

Hm-m-m-m... well... I'd be lying if I suggested I have any idea what this is about. I think it is all something you would have to explore with the help of a mental health therapist who is knowledgeable with regard to issues of sexual orientation.

The one thing I do know, based on my own personal experience, is that these sorts of things are complicated. They can't be deciphered in a post here on PC. I personally don't even know if it's possible to get to the bottom of something like this via therapy since I never made any serious attempt to do so myself. But I presume that in the process of therapy, with a skilled therapist, one could at least get closer to an answer.

You have to excuse me. But I had to chuckle a bit at your sentence: "What the hell is wrong with me?" I grew up, many years ago now, struggling with what I now know were gender identity issues. (Back then I had no idea what was going on with me. And there was no one I could talk to about it.) I never "came out" to my parents. (I was too embarrassed & afraid. Plus I wouldn't have had the words to tell them what I was experiencing.)

Anyway, I did get caught, by my parents, in compromising situations a few times growing up & had to do some fast talking to wiggle out. My father, bless his heart, loved deprecatory one-liners. And one of the ones he was fond of using on me, when he caught me doing something he thought was weird, was: "What the hell's the matter with ya, Bud?" I know if I had ever been able to come out to him as transgender, he'd have said: "What the hell's the matter with ya, Bud?" I can just hear him. So when I read that sentence in your post, it took me back... & brought a wry smile to my face. I do know what it's like to struggle with the sorts of things you wrote about in your post. I hope that, in some way, you can get as close as possible to the answers you seek & find a path to deep peace within...

Thank you. You are so kind.

I sympathise, as I have similar problems. I am not sure with me if it is a lack of emotional connection with men or not, I prefer male company and find women a bit *****y sometimes.. I just seem to prefer women's bodies, but not vaginas, and I can't imagine being in a relationship with a woman long term.

Maybe you are just overthinking all of this.. I am new here so I am wondering.. do you have OCD or something related to that? It is definitely something that can cause thoughts of being a pedophile or gay.

The fact you think something is wrong with you maybe doesn't help.. you need self compassion, not judgement. Try not to focus on these thoughts, tell yourself everybody can have thoughts that are seen as a bit 'deviant' by others, but they don't necessarily mean anything. You wouldn't approach a child or even think of doing so so give yourself a break. Remember they have beauty pageants for children, it is often accentuated, and encouraged, to look at children as attractive, so don't worry too much about it.. you may find the thoughts go away if you don't worry about it.

I would just say worrying makes it worse. You are not evil or abnormal just because you have these thoughts.

Hope that helps.