Fetishistic obsession is destroying my life

Hello, I am new to this forum.

I am uncertain if this is the right sub forum under which to post, so I do apologise in advance.

I am seeking advice regarding a very specific fetish I've had ever since I entered high school, which was about six year ago. I am nearly 21 now.

Very long story cut short, I was extremely naive and too trusting of people. I was questioning my sexuality at the time and I felt extremely lost and isolated - also I was not aware of my high functioning autism at that stage. Retrospectively, I had confused my questioning with the emergence of this fetish, which naturally created chaos within me. I ended up confiding in my "friends" (later found out I was dead wrong), by describing this fetish to them and hoping to discover an answer to my conundrum. Essentially this was taken out of context and I was nearly suspended...but thank goodness I managed to resolve the situation.

Fast forward through the next few years up until now, this fetish has destroyed my social and dating life. My inhibitions in this regard are non-existent and I can't stop talking about it with people - mainly the ones who would "qualify" to live out the fetish with me.

I have lost so many friends and potential partners due to my mouth that won't shut up about it. I feel this fetish has consumed my life, it has polluted my thoughts and is interfering with my studies. I even ended up in hospital last year because I had developed depression as a result.

I have thought of trying to locate someone with whom I may "experience" this fetish but without success. I have this idea that once I can experience it once and then I will subconsciously lose interest in it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I'm very desperate for a possible solution.

Hello leviathan: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you are struggling with this fetish situation. I've had some similar sorts of experiences myself. So I at least feel as though I have some understanding of what that's all about. I'm not a mental health professional though. So I can't give you any substantive advice.

What strikes me though, with regard to what you wrote, is that perhaps there are two issues at work here. One is your fetish. From what I understand of fetishes, they are extremely difficult to break. It seems the general consensus of opinion is that what is important is to indulge the fetish, to the extent necessary, in as safe a manner as possible. (I can't speak to your thinking that if you can experience it once you will lose interest in it.) Unfortunately, from what you wrote, it sounds as though your fetish requires the participation of another person, which would of course make the whole situation just that much more complex.

The other part of your concern however, & the part that seems to have caused you SO MUCH distress, is your need to talk about it to other people. And I wonder if this might perhaps be an OCD-type symptom. If that is the case, while OCD can be difficult to treat too, there are effective treatments for it. So, seeking some treatment for your need to talk to people regarding your fetish might be helpful. It may not address the fetish itself. But perhaps you can learn ways to not talk about it with people who will judge & abandon you. So, with that thought in mind, here are links to 3 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of treatments for OCD:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Treatment of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

When to Seek Treatment for OCD

My best wishes to you...