How do I get my needs met?

I don't know what to do. My sexuality has been repressed for so long, I feel like I'm going to explode. I just want to have sex...it could be with virtually anybody really. I just want someone to show interest in me. I suppose I would like it if it were someone I was the least bit attracted to so maybe there's a tiny chance I might enjoy it this time, which is what's stopping me from just answering random Craigslist ads.

I would have no clue what to say or do around a person I was attracted to. I spent years avoiding those people because I was in a relationship, therefore, I just had to take what I could get. I'm finding out now that stale crumbs are better than complete starvation.

I don't know what to do. I'm not sure how to go about random sex safely and I wouldn't know how to find anyone I was attracted to at all or had enough chemistry that would make it worth it. I rarely enjoyed having sex with someone I cared about, so I assume I'd have to be really attracted to the person to like it.

There's not much I can do on my own. Masturbation makes me feel empty and I only do it if I really physically need to. It's on the same level as a sneeze. No one wants to sneeze, but sometimes you have to.

So, for people who are shy, ugly, and apparently terrible at sex, how do you get this need met? Do you have sex with random people (and how do you do that in a safe, enjoyable way?) or are you just celibate the rest of your life?

Have you ever tried cyber sex? I love it, it is safe, away to feel loved and give love, all sorts of an upside for me. I only do it with one person but it is so good I wish I could be with that person.

I did when I was younger. I got laughed at for how I looked and it just felt violating because I had to do what random people were asking me to do. I have no idea how to talk "sexy" either in text or via voice and being put on the spot like that makes me very anxious. Sex with random strangers is less humiliating and demeaning.

But no judgment against you or anyone else who likes that stuff. I couldn't even cyber with the person I was in a relationship with.

There is no right or wrong answer here. Cyber sex, porn and masterbation, hook up sites like tinder, using protection of course, finding a friend with benefits. Whatever satisfies you.

Also, please dont call yourself ugly. We all look different, but beautiful in our own way. I might suggest therapy to work on your self esteem. Hugs.

Porn and masturbation is the only way that feels safe, but it's not satisfying. I'm not sure I've ever found much to be satisfying. Whenever it involves another person I'm running the risk of someone making me feel bad for how I look or getting frustrated/upset that I can't get off or be satisfied quickly and easily or really at all.

A lot of people are showing me that I'm not attractive through words and action (well, inaction). For example, the partner I had for almost four years found me having more body hair than usual to be unappealing. Since I didn't have money to get a full body wax, I had to shave/pluck everything the best I could. I'm pudgy too, always have been since puberty. Any "official" exercise (like going to a gym) has a high chance of triggering me and/or making me anxious and even though I try to eat well most of the time, thinking about calories will mess up my eating so it's not like it would be easy to be less pudgy. And because I'm pudgy and have large breasts, I can't really look androgynous and that makes me feel less attractive. I couldn't bind if I wanted to...I would look like a muscular man and I find men like that to be unattractive.

Please let me know if you end up finding what you are looking for.
My skills in the flirtation and pick up department are comparable to that of a young Helen Keller.

It doesn't really look like I will. My previous relationship was very damaging sexually. Hell, even though he loved me and was attracted to me, it was very difficult to seduce him. He generally wanted to have sex with me if he had time so there's that. So four years with someone I had intercourse with (the first and only) and I still don't really know what intercourse is like. I still feel shame for what I'm interested in sexually from some of his reactions and I'm not sure I'll be able to admit to someone else what I like so they also don't think I'm disgusting.

In general, I have no ability to flirt, seduce, or in any way get someone interested in me. I can't really do anything. I had low confidence and self-esteem before the breakup, but it's at an all time low now.

I have five years of sexual experience but feel like I have none. I don't have friends who would available for a FWB arrangement in the future. There's no way I'd ever date again after this last relationship...I'm not sure if the good parts of a relationship are worth how horrible it feels when it ends. Everything in my life is ruined. I can't enjoy anything I want to or used to enjoy. I have such a strong sex drive that I often obsess over the idea, but I'm almost too traumatized (if that's the right word) to ever have sex again. That's if I ever find someone attracted enough to me.

Having some read-worthy discussion here, came to know so many points. Thank you

Don't give up.
You are NOT alone.
If nothing else, waaay older than you, and I'm having the same feelings now that you are.
I have taken some time to do some research.
I've come to realize that I'm the prey I'm not the hunter.
As a guy that makes everything rather awkward.
Also during self searching I found what arouses me.
It's confusing being disgusted horrified and aroused all at the same time.
I don't know how I can ever find somebody who would want this.
I have a carrer, my dogs love me, and so does God.
Perhaps my ADHD will allow me to forget my desires....