Heterosexual but?

I classify myself as a heterosexual man but lately I've been fantasizing about certain homosexual activities is this a normal thing? I'm still very much attracted to women but also have this desire to perform this activity too ,does this happen when men get older ? Just trying to understand this?

I think the homosexual desire should go away as you grow older starting right from the age of 12/13 to the age of 19. If not, you may have some psychological (not psychiatric or biological) issues.

There's this thing called the Kinsey Scale states that most people aren't exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual. It's very possible you could be a 1 on the Kinsey Scale for example. More info on that here:

Kinsey scale - Wikipedia


Homosexuality isn't a psychological issue or an issue at all.

Not a general agreement, more of a grey area.

I cant tell you whats up with you and whether its normal for you but I can tell you how a male friend of mine who is heterosexual explained it to me...

he thought something was majorly wrong because suddenly he was fantasizing about sex with a guy... he went to his doctor. the doctor told him that a man has one of their most erotic spot (Male G Spot) by way of the back door called the prostate. most women dont think about doing whats needed to stimulate that erotic spot on a guy. to put it bluntly go up a guys behind. so whats left fantasizing about a guy or using sexual toys to stimulate their own G Spot.

made sense to me and Im a woman married to a woman. there are many things that we lesbians sometimes fantasize about, it doesnt mean we are heterosexual just means a need isnt getting met, or we enjoy experimentation and fantasy or both.

Hello Tsevern: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!

You asked if fantasizing about certain homosexual activities is normal as men get older. I don't know what you mean by "older". I'm 70! So what I perceive as older may be a lot different than what you have in mind.

I'm certainly no expert when it comes to anything such as this. I myself have also always been heterosexual. But I have also had a life-long struggle with gender identity disorder. And one thing I have come to accept is that there are many resting places along the sexual orientation (as well as the gender identity) continuums. The old sexual orientation (& gender identity) binaries simply no longer apply.

So with that thought in mind I would speculate that the thoughts you're having perhaps have nothing in particular to do with getting older. They perhaps are simply a reflection of the fact that you may not be as solidly affixed to the heterosexual end of the sexual orientation continuum as you imagined. And that's okay!

One other thing that occurs to me here is that one hears a lot more about these sorts of things nowadays than one used to. When I was young, anything related to sexuality was considered to be not a fit topic for discussion. (And most people didn't even realize there could be such a thing as a gender identity issue.) I myself have certainly learned a great deal about these subjects in recent years as a result of the openness that exists now. Perhaps the thoughts you're having are also, at least in part, the result of exposure to information & ideas that in years past would not have been readily available? Anyway... it's a thought.

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

What? If you have same-gender desire as a teenager, that's not something that really goes away... Sure, most people end up feeling mostly straight attraction. But sexuality is a continuum, like Butterfly said.
(Off topic, perhaps, but please don't use the word "homosexual", it's considered outdated and rude.)

Anyway, it's perfectly normal to start having or recognizing same-gender desire later in life. Many people aren't comfortable or in touch enough with their feelings when they first start to grow up. You may still consider yourself straight still, if you want to, but know that there is a place for you in the bi community, too!

I am not comfortable with the commonly used words, but I'll follow your advice. Thanks for telling me I have a place where I am accepted.