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LiteraryLark
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Confused Oct 31, 2018 at 07:55 PM
  #1
I opened up to my T about a subject I've never discussed with a T before. We talked about my sex life. I told her I was haven't been able to orgasm with masturbation since I've moved, never having an orgasm with a partner, and the nature of my fantasies. I told her I need to be in absolute control and that my best orgasms come from anger and frustration, which she said is the opposite of where orgasms should come from. She said there needs to be some lack of control in sex in order to climax, and that being able to orgasm when angry is unusual.

I told her that I've had the same two fantasies my whole life, and I can have the same characters in these fantasies for years at a time.

We talked more in-depth about this, and she said what I knew what was coming, to find new fantasies to try to help me climax rather than the old fantasies. She didn't say these fantasies I've had are wrong or that I shouldn't have these fantasies, but she suggested exploring a new, interesting fantasy to help me find climax.

My fantasies have always been tried and true, but I agree these fantasies do nothing for me anymore. I also told her that I need an emotional bond with the characters in my fantasy as well as in real life, I told her I no longer wish to have casual sex or sex with people I haven't emotionally bonded with. So how do I find a new target of my fantasy?

The first two potential fantasies that popped into my head are Chris Pratt and Loki (Tom Hiddleston), two striking sexual icons (for me, at least) but I haven't "bonded" with either of them and never thought to pursue them for new fantasy characters. Finding a new fantasy is like extensive dating, it doesn't happen overnight because I need to invest in time to get to the point of "yes, I can climax to the image of this person" and I don't know how to begin.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

Last edited by LiteraryLark; Oct 31, 2018 at 08:15 PM..
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LiteraryLark
Crowned "The Good Witch"
 
LiteraryLark's Avatar
LiteraryLark is healing
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,535 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1,318 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 03, 2018 at 12:57 AM
  #2
My T Wants Me To Find New Fantasies

I watched the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 tonight. Netflix didn't have the first one, and I wasn't going to rent it online on a tiny computer screen...plus, I've seen enough big bits and pieces of the first one to technically say I've seen the whole thing. So I watched the second one tonight on the big screen.

Not only is Chris Pratt insanely hot, but so is his leading lady Gamora. She's strikingly sexy, but I focused mostly on Chris Pratt and thought to myself "Either I'm going to be the person they pick up along the way and befriend, or I'll role play Gamora and Quill and imagine myself as Gamora."

Today when I went to Fred Meyer, I imagined bumping into Chris Pratt, and I imagined him asking me where to find something. I imagined what it would be like if I was a cashier and Chris Pratt came into my line. I imagined all kinds of things in Fred Meyer revolving around Chris Pratt.

See, the thing is, I can't just say "Chris Pratt is so hot, I'll masturbate to him". It truly is like extensive dating, and that's what's great about musicians and actors. You can listen to the music and watch the movies over and over, and you get to know them that way and you'll fall in love...but for me, it's certainly not overnight. But unf! his leather jacket...*swoons*
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Default Nov 06, 2018 at 08:22 PM
  #3
I can relate to the emotional bond needing to be there. The less I know the person the more dirty the sex seems to be, and not in a good way, but in a cheap superficial way. I know another guy who can't even get it up unless there is an emotional bond. I went out with him and noather buddy and he's like 6'5" and handsome so of course the hottest girls flock to him because height is such a big factor (dominance). But yeah, he went out of the bar with a cute waitress and he couldn't get it up.
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