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Old 11-21-2018, 06:40 PM #21
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Trig Re: Aversion to semen tw

Well I wasnt left there I just acted different so I wouldnt have to go in. That was the deal get better or in the orphanage I go. I just kept everything in. This next question is kinda graphic. I used to feel absolutely disgusted when my husband came in my mouth. I mean isnt that just what most woman feel anyway? The feel of it flooding my mouth was so gross.
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Old 11-21-2018, 10:22 PM #22
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

I honestly don't know if there's really a reason behind it. I'm bisexual but currently married to a woman. When I dated (I dated quiet a bit back in college - both male and female partners) I just didn't like sex with men as much because semen just grosses me out. There's something about the feel, smell, and just look of it. I had a strict nothing in my mouth rule so I didn't taste it, but I imagine I'd be just as grossed out, if not worse. Nothing bad sexual or otherwise has happened to me growing up. I pretty much grew up a boring middle class life. I just honestly am grossed out by it period. Maybe there's no reason behind your dislike for it other than it just grosses you out.

Just my two cents...
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Old 11-21-2018, 11:56 PM #23
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

I can understand being disgusted by the oral sex with your husband - the end result specifically. You are right that many people find this disgusting and won't engage in it. Although, there are people who love it too, and people who just tolerate it, with a take it or leave it attitude. However, I don't think this is what triggered your repulsion/phobia and other obsessions. I think your issue goes way back to your childhood. This is where most of our issues begin, sometimes overlapping later traumas as well.
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Old 11-22-2018, 09:08 PM #24
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightNotes View Post
I can understand being disgusted by the oral sex with your husband - the end result specifically. You are right that many people find this disgusting and won't engage in it. Although, there are people who love it too, and people who just tolerate it, with a take it or leave it attitude. However, I don't think this is what triggered your repulsion/phobia and other obsessions. I think your issue goes way back to your childhood. This is where most of our issues begin, sometimes overlapping later traumas as well.
Why do you think that rather than I am just grossed out like others?
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Old 11-23-2018, 09:27 PM #25
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
Why do you think that rather than I am just grossed out like others?
Because you are worried about contamination as well. Being grossed out does not always lead to worrying about contamination, unless you have a reason to worry that something is contaminated. Also, as you mentioned, you have some other obsessions going on here too, so I don't think it is just about feeling grossed out.

Feeling disgusted or repulsed may be more the end result of worrying that the body fluid is infected or contaminated with something, but what? A virus, infection, bacteria, something sinful or shameful, or something else?
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Old 11-23-2018, 11:10 PM #26
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

People getting off from other peoples bodies is disgusting it really is. Very animalistic. I started feeling this way at the end of my marriage. I just got so annoyed that he wanted to get off on my body all the time. I wasnt disgusted when I wanted to get off though. Semen is disgusting because it looks kind of chunky, tastes bad etc but I think its that I find it germy mainly. When I first started having sex I didnt have these feelings. I was 17. I dont understand why they arised when I was around 8 years ago. I am 42 now.
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Old 11-24-2018, 10:31 AM #27
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

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Originally Posted by Dnester View Post
People getting off from other peoples bodies is disgusting it really is. Very animalistic. I started feeling this way at the end of my marriage. I just got so annoyed that he wanted to get off on my body all the time. I wasnt disgusted when I wanted to get off though. Semen is disgusting because it looks kind of chunky, tastes bad etc but I think its that I find it germy mainly. When I first started having sex I didnt have these feelings. I was 17. I dont understand why they arised when I was around 8 years ago. I am 42 now.
I think that something happened to trigger these feelings. If you did not always feel this way, then either something triggered repressed feelings to come up from childhood or something happened during your marriage that upset you or repulsed you in a big way. It is most likely one of those things, and they are probably both connected in some way.

You told me earlier that this seemed to begin when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8. So, it is possible that there is some connection between her age and painful memories from your childhood, and something about the sex with your ex-husband was the catalyst to begin whatever is going on here. I'm just guessing at this though.

We know these things for sure:

1) You are disgusted by body fluids, mostly from the other person.
2) You feel that people using others for their own physical pleasure is animalistic.
3) You did not have the above feelings at the beginning of your marriage.
4) These feelings of repulsion began at the end of your marriage or when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8.

In my opinion, the best way to explore this is to first think back to your marriage, and find the trigger(s) that began all this. This is not easy of course. But maybe if you write down for yourself the chronology of how things went downhill in your marriage, and the feelings associated with this, every step of the way, then more might become revealed to you. Think of it as writing a memoir of your past marriage and how it went bad. How did you feel about him and what you experienced together throughout your marriage? How did it change over time? How did you feel when you became pregnant and gave birth to your daughter? How did your intimacy change over time in your marriage? Those are just examples to get started. Basically, I think you should work backwards in time, and this is a good place to begin, since something changed during your marriage and triggered these feelings of repulsion. Either they were uncovered from the past, or they were created during the marriage.
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Old 11-24-2018, 10:38 AM #28
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Just wanted to say that I find semen disgusting too. I always have. Nothing from my childhood triggered it. I don't even want to see it, let alone touch it. And tasting it is the absolute worst. That's why I don't like giving oral sex (although I could handle it with a condom or if he didn't come in my mouth).

I guess part of it may be that I am a woman and didn't start having sex until late in life (I was 27 my first time). So I never really became familiar with a man's body and how it works. Also I am bisexual and honestly think I would prefer sex with a woman (although I can't find a woman who's interested in me. It's mostly straight men who have no clue about a woman's body).

At any rate, I ended up with a guy who likes to give oral sex, but doesn't care to receive it or have intercourse (which is very unusual). I think he's impotent, although he has told me he isn't. Whatever the case may be, it works well for both of us.
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Old 11-24-2018, 11:28 AM #29
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Quote:
Originally Posted by NightNotes View Post
I think that something happened to trigger these feelings. If you did not always feel this way, then either something triggered repressed feelings to come up from childhood or something happened during your marriage that upset you or repulsed you in a big way. It is most likely one of those things, and they are probably both connected in some way.

You told me earlier that this seemed to begin when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8. So, it is possible that there is some connection between her age and painful memories from your childhood, and something about the sex with your ex-husband was the catalyst to begin whatever is going on here. I'm just guessing at this though.

We know these things for sure:

1) You are disgusted by body fluids, mostly from the other person.
2) You feel that people using others for their own physical pleasure is animalistic.
3) You did not have the above feelings at the beginning of your marriage.
4) These feelings of repulsion began at the end of your marriage or when your daughter reached the age of 7 or 8.

In my opinion, the best way to explore this is to first think back to your marriage, and find the trigger(s) that began all this. This is not easy of course. But maybe if you write down for yourself the chronology of how things went downhill in your marriage, and the feelings associated with this, every step of the way, then more might become revealed to you. Think of it as writing a memoir of your past marriage and how it went bad. How did you feel about him and what you experienced together throughout your marriage? How did it change over time? How did you feel when you became pregnant and gave birth to your daughter? How did your intimacy change over time in your marriage? Those are just examples to get started. Basically, I think you should work backwards in time, and this is a good place to begin, since something changed during your marriage and triggered these feelings of repulsion. Either they were uncovered from the past, or they were created during the marriage.
The thing is, is I dont know if these is just Ocd. I didnt even know what semen was until I was 14. Then at 17 I had my first sexuaxl exprrience. I craved sex with my fiance at the time he always wore condoms but I did take showers immediately after if I could but I wasnt really obsessed with being contaminated. Then at the beginning of my marriage I wasnt obsessed with that at all. Then it was like a flip switched. I began freaking out if he touched me down there that he was contaminated parts of my body with my bodily fluids and his. Then I just started freaking out my daughter might touch his semen. I would put a sheet down. Limit certain contact and acts. It was a waste of time. A chore really. He barely ever took the effort to do anything for me unlike my prior fiance. I got tried of being begged for sex. I did not want him to make any facial expressions showing enjoyment but it was ok with me if I did. I used to make him cover his face with a pillow. Then other times I wanted him to say dirty things to me. It really hit me about 2 years ago that sex was really animalistic ( i have been sex free and divorced for 6 years) but I do watch porn sometimes. I am really all over the place. I have thought well maybe I would be better off with a woman but I dont really want to be a lesbian. I am attracted to women though. Since I was around 8 thats been the case. Its mainly mother figure types though. Counselors, teachers, etc. She thinks my mom may have abused me. Anyway I asked her about freaking out about my daughter touching my husbands semen. She said I could just be feeling overprotective of my daughter but why though?. Im so confused. Thanks for talking to me. You are really helping.
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Old 11-24-2018, 11:31 AM #30
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Yeah, it could be partly OCD.

I do think I'm more comfortable with a woman's body than a man's though. I don't like to look at men's genitalia at all. And I get nothing out of intercourse. I like that the guy I'm currently seeing always leaves his pants on when he gives me oral sex.
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