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Old 11-24-2018, 11:53 AM #31
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
Yeah, it could be partly OCD.

I do think I'm more comfortable with a woman's body than a man's though. I don't like to look at men's genitalia at all. And I get nothing out of intercourse. I like that the guy I'm currently seeing always leaves his pants on when he gives me oral sex.
Yeah I think its partly Ocd too. I just dont understand why seeing someone enjoying me doing things to them or using my body disturbs me. But its ok for me to enjoy or see enjoyment on porn but not in real life. Makes me wonder what thats about but many people have told me on the site that just because you dont like something doesnt mean you neccesarily have had something to cause it. I dont get that.

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Old 11-25-2018, 01:26 AM #32
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I did not want him to make any facial expressions showing enjoyment but it was ok with me if I did. I used to make him cover his face with a pillow. Then other times I wanted him to say dirty things to me. It really hit me about 2 years ago that sex was really animalistic ( i have been sex free and divorced for 6 years) but I do watch porn sometimes. I am really all over the place. I have thought well maybe I would be better off with a woman but I dont really want to be a lesbian. I am attracted to women though. Since I was around 8 thats been the case. Its mainly mother figure types though. Counselors, teachers, etc. She thinks my mom may have abused me. Anyway I asked her about freaking out about my daughter touching my husbands semen. She said I could just be feeling overprotective of my daughter but why though?. Im so confused. Thanks for talking to me. You are really helping.
First of all, I'm glad to help. I wish that I could come up with a definitive answer, but life never makes it so easy for us.

Is it possible that you consider a man's body fluid and his enjoyment of you as the same repulsive thing? Did your husband's bodily fluid and facial expressions of enjoyment trigger the same feelings of disgust, or were they different?

How do you feel when you watch porn and see men enjoying the women so much? How do you feel if their bodily fluids appear? Do you feel the same degree of disgust watching the porn men as you did when having sex with your husband? Or, do you feel something else for the men you view in the porn?
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Old 11-25-2018, 08:58 AM #33
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

With the semen it was more of a contamination thing. Also to I just dont like the looks of it. With him enjoying it was mainly oral sex I didnt like him enjoying. It got on my nerves he enjoyed that so much like it was something he needed. When watching porn it doesnt bother me because its not me doing it so their enjoyment doesnt bother me.
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Old 11-25-2018, 03:06 PM #34
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With the semen it was more of a contamination thing. Also to I just dont like the looks of it. With him enjoying it was mainly oral sex I didnt like him enjoying. It got on my nerves he enjoyed that so much like it was something he needed. When watching porn it doesnt bother me because its not me doing it so their enjoyment doesnt bother me.
If you are comfortable, please clarify something for me. What happens when you watch sex taking place in a porn film? How does what you see make you feel? Do you feel aroused watching the things in porn that caused you to feel disgust when you did them with your husband? This is important for us to understand.
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Old 11-25-2018, 03:09 PM #35
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

I don't like porn at all. I've only seen a few glimpses, and I am just not in to closeups of genitalia. I do get turned on by stuff like sex scenes in movies when I don't have to see everything.
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Old 11-25-2018, 03:20 PM #36
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

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If you are comfortable, please clarify something for me. What happens when you watch sex taking place in a porn film? How does what you see make you feel? Do you feel aroused watching the things in porn that caused you to feel disgust when you did them with your husband? This is important for us to understand.
Well I am not married anymore but hope to be in a relationship soon. When I watch porn I do feel a little turned on. Mainly I just think about sex with my ex husband even though he is remarried. When we were married it annoyed me ( the contamination part, the begging for it part, the facial expressions like it was the best thing in the world) Make believe is fine.
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:47 PM #37
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Well I am not married anymore but hope to be in a relationship soon. When I watch porn I do feel a little turned on. Mainly I just think about sex with my ex husband even though he is remarried. When we were married it annoyed me ( the contamination part, the begging for it part, the facial expressions like it was the best thing in the world) Make believe is fine.
Well, this is very complex. The porn turns you on to thoughts about your ex-husband, but only in a make believe way. Yet, actually being with him is what triggered the feelings of repulsion. I guess this makes sense in a way, since our fantasies edit out what turns us off and amplifies what most arouses us.
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Old 11-25-2018, 04:56 PM #38
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

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Originally Posted by NightNotes View Post
Well, this is very complex. The porn turns you on to thoughts about your ex-husband, but only in a make believe way. Yet, actually being with him is what triggered the feelings of repulsion. I guess this makes sense in a way, since our fantasies edit out what turns us off and amplifies what most arouses us.
I just dont understand why his enjoyment would repulse me ( his facial expressions mainly)
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Old 11-25-2018, 09:52 PM #39
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I just dont understand why his enjoyment would repulse me ( his facial expressions mainly)
It is difficult to know for sure. The look of enjoyment on his face possibly triggers a memory of something from your childhood that made you feel bad in some way, such as being exploited, used, objectified, humiliated, or something else.

The problem is that your mind is doing a good job, maybe too good of a job, hiding the actual memory, but letting you feel the pain of it - in the form of repulsion or disgust. Whatever is causing these negative feelings seems to be repressed out of consciousness, probably to keep you from being overwhelmed by it. I know this doesn't help, because you want to get to the bottom of this.

Do you have any dreams or nightmares related to this? Or any kind of recurring nightmare?
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Old 11-25-2018, 10:00 PM #40
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Default Re: Aversion to semen tw

Do I dont have any nightmares. I just get real irritated when someone acts like crackhead over something I am doing to them. They dont have any control. Maybe this is nothing and I just dont stupid faces s turn on.
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