trans guy going to gynae for the first time

hi, i'm not sure where exactly to post this, but i feel like if i post it in the transgender section it won't get seen by anyone, because the last post there was weeks ago.

i might be going to have a hystorectomy and need to go to a gynae. it's my first time, i'm in my 20s, and i've never had sex or been physically intimate with anyone. i have had a couple of breast exams recently and i find them really difficult and generally have to pretend i don't exist while it's happening. i feel really sick at the thought of anyone touching me "down there". i know logically that it would be a good idea to have stuff checked out in order to have a hysterectomy with no issues, but to have someone do that or put something in me is something i would NEVER agree to. i've asked a friend to go with me but i doubt that will change anything. i don't have any sexual abuse history as far as i know. one time as an adult someone tried to touch me inappropriately and even though they didn't really succeed i still woke up screaming that night. i don't have the option of taking tranquilisers or anything to get through the appointment because i'm an addict in recovery. has anyone been through this?

I don't have anything to offer with regard to your concern, of course, since I'm just an old man albeit one who has waged a life-long struggle with gender identity dysphoria. It is sad that as you pointed out the last thread posted in the Transgender forum (posted back on November 20) has received no replies. But there just doesn't seem to be much activity there at the present time.

I don't know of course if this post, in the Sexual and Gender Issues forum, will garner replies. But, should it not, I wonder if it might be worth the effort to sign into the Susan's Place website (assuming you're not already a member.) I'm not a member. But I do lurk there occasionally. And it seems to be the premier website for transgender persons. My best wishes to you...

I suggest you go to a female gynecologist. They tend to be more understanding, in my experience. And if need be, then you could talk to a female therapist.