Help - Forums at Psych Central


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-16-2018, 01:20 AM #1
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
Korunz has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8

Default Help

What do I do at 54 years old and I find myself attracted to women? Married, somewhat happily for 30 years. I am beside myself .
Korunz is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 12-16-2018, 01:45 AM #2
Lefty Seven Lefty Seven is offline
Account Suspended
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 209
Lefty Seven Lefty Seven is offline
Account Suspended
Lefty Seven might be lying.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 209

17 hugs
given
Default Re: Help

Concentrate on STDs.
Lefty Seven is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 02:08 AM #3
LacunaCoiler's Avatar
LacunaCoiler LacunaCoiler is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 721
LacunaCoiler LacunaCoiler is offline
Veteran Member
LacunaCoiler's Avatar
LacunaCoiler has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 721

8 yr Member
29 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Help

What is wrong with being attracted to women? May I asked what your gender is? Is this what is causing an issue? I don't understand, are you happily married or is the other woman?
__________________
Morality plays on stages of sin -Emilie Autumn



LacunaCoiler is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 02:28 AM #4
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
Korunz has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8

Default Re: Help

I am a wonan married to a man.... and have acted on my attraction to women !!!
Korunz is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 02:35 AM #5
LacunaCoiler's Avatar
LacunaCoiler LacunaCoiler is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 721
LacunaCoiler LacunaCoiler is offline
Veteran Member
LacunaCoiler's Avatar
LacunaCoiler has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 721

8 yr Member
29 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Help

And how did that make you feel? Was this acting on it when you were married or before you were married? If you were married, does your husband know?

I am a woman who is currently married to another woman but I consider myself bisexual because I have dated and am attracted to both sexes. So I can understand where you are coming from.
__________________
Morality plays on stages of sin -Emilie Autumn



LacunaCoiler is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 03:16 AM #6
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8
Korunz Korunz is offline
New Member
Korunz has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8

Default Re: Help

It was long term whilst married ( i still am), but living as friendly housemates. He has no clue and neither does anyone else. The other woman was far away so we only met up infrequently. It was amazing. Now over.
Korunz is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 02:17 PM #7
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 8,279
amandalouise amandalouise is offline
Wise Elder
amandalouise's Avatar
amandalouise has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: NY
Posts: 8,279 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
780 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Korunz View Post
It was long term whilst married ( i still am), but living as friendly housemates. He has no clue and neither does anyone else. The other woman was far away so we only met up infrequently. It was amazing. Now over.
being sexually attracted to and having sex with both male and females its called being bisexual.

theres nothing wrong with being attracted and wanting sex in this way, though you may have to make some decisions based on whether you would like to continue having relations with both male and female. one of which would be discussing it with your husband after you have made your decision of how you would like to get your needs met.
amandalouise is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-16-2018, 10:23 PM #8
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Apparition
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 17,338
Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
Apparition
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: L'Etoile du Nord
Posts: 17,338 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
12.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Re: Help

May I suggest what is probably the obvious here... that perhaps this is something it would be worthwhile talking through, at-length & in-depth, with a skilled mental health therapist? There's certainly nothing wrong with being attracted to members of the same sex. The problems here involve the impact this might have on your marriage were your husband to become aware of it & what the distress you're experiencing may be doing to you emotionally.

Left unaddressed, something like this has a way of eating at your insides. And it may be unlikely it's going to simply disappear on its own. Bringing it out into the open, within the therapeutic process, may help you to figure out what this means for you & what, if anything you want to do about it.

I myself have had a life-long struggle with gender identity dysphoria. And my GID has eaten at me the way what you're experiencing is eating at you. For a variety of reasons, I don't see a therapist. I did for a short time a few years ago. And while I did, it was a major (if brief) relief. Were my circumstances different, I would love to do it again.
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:58 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.