Fetish and obsession objects

I think this is the right place to put this. Just need to get this out, it might help me to understand it.

I've had this weird fetish since my teens, it's for a certain situation not an object. I don't want to say what it is because it's a bit gross and weird, and I've never heard of anyone else having it. But I've somehow managed to add this to my daydreams about the obsession objects. I've put it into a few other obsession daydreams before but only a bit. I've put it into a few other obsession daydreams before but only a bit.

If anyone is reading this, this thread will explain the obsession problem I have: https://forums.psychcentral.com/anxi...ng-stupid.html and more about it here https://forums.psychcentral.com/copi...hing-i-do.html

But with this current obsession, it fits better to that, so now I feel like nearly all the daydreams I have of that, have this fetish in too. It feels wrong and gross. It feels good at the time, when I'm fantasising, but then afterwards, and especially when I go to look at pictures of the object, I feel ashamed and just wrong. I really don't like it, I wish I could get rid of it (and this obsession problem too!).

Now if I really had this object, I'd really want to act out these fantasies, but I think it might damage the object. There might be a way to avoid that but I'm not sure. So I probably wouldn't want to do it anyway, for that reason. That might cause some frustration though, because I would have to still stick to the daydreams, where it can't actually be harmed. But then I can never have this object anyway, so I don't need to worry about that.

But, I sometimes do worry about it in the daydreams, even though it doesn't matter. Sometimes they get so intense and I get so caught up in them that I do worry about damaging the object. I also daydream about telling fake people about what I have done to get a reaction. It's something that wouldn't really be a fetish to most other people, so they wouldn't think about it in that way. To them it would just be abusing it, like the other daydreams.

I don't really understand it. I don't understand much about this obsession problem.

I don't think there is really a lot I can say about this. Since you don't feel comfortable talking specifics here (not that you should) it's difficult to know what's going on or to make any potentially useful suggestions (if in fact that's even possible.) Ultimately, the best place to deal with something like this is in therapy anyway. (You probably didn't need me to tell you that.)

You wrote, in this post, that you've never heard of anyone else having the fetish you've had since your teens. I myself have had a life-long struggle with my gender identity. And for most of my life, I sincerely believed there couldn't possibly be anyone else in the world who had that problem. (There are still things related to it I can never, & will never, talk about.) It's only been the past... oh... 10 years or so that I have come to realize there are all sorts of people in the world who have gender identity issues!

I think it may have been Plato who supposedly said humankind has not had a new idea since our ancestors walked out of the cave. Everything since then has simply been variations on a theme, so to speak. So while you may feel you are the only person in the world who has ever struggled with the sorts of things you're struggling with, my thinking would be that's likely not the case at all. That doesn't necessarily mean you want to write about it here on PC or bring it up to your friends & family... or perhaps even to a therapist. But perhaps what it may suggest is that you're likely not alone in whatever it is you're struggling with. And, hopefully, there's some comfort in that.

Well it's possible there are other people that have the same thing, and maybe they are also embarrassed about it. Maybe I just haven't found anyone. Out of all of the people in the entire world there must be someone else.

A lot of the past obsessions, this fetish wouldn't have fit into the daydreams about them. It fits perfectly into this one though (because of the object it is) and I think that makes it more enjoyable.

I guess there's no real harm in these fantasies though.