[Torment]

I haven't had sex in four years. My wife and I are 8-years apart in ages. She's 48 and I'm 40. I've been described as a sex addict. Feeling mighty low this evening. Very depressed. Friendless and hopeless. Can't sleep. Really despise the kind of feelings that I am bearing at the moment. I'm in pain. Emotional pain. I find sexual desires, sexual cravings, arousals excruciatingly embarrassing. I simply hate these feelings! Perhaps I am. I dunno anymore. I can't seem to comprehend my feelings. I am not lying. I've never cheated on my wife nor do I want to. I love my wife. I just hate feeling sexual. I have increased guilt, remorseful and suicidal. Even tried to remove my own "male sex organ". I am ugly as sin, with no sexual experience what so ever. I am not a virgin. Just never really any good at sex. Nor did I experienced sex that often. Long story... I suppose one might say that I have CSD *compulsive sexuality disorder. Just wanted to see if anyone else has had this problem or if I was the only one?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Torment: Thank you for sharing your concern here on PC. I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you are experiencing such difficulty. I can't say as I have experienced exactly what you have. But I have struggled, my entire life, with my own sexuality-related problems. (I'll spare you the details.) The good thing, in my case, is that I'm now 70 years old. So to a large extent it doesn't much matter anymore.

You wrote you struggle with guilt, remorse & suicidal thoughts. But you didn't mention whether or not you're seeing any kind of mental health professional for it. Admittedly I myself have not made a whole lot of effort in that direction either although, looking back, I can see where I probably should have. If you're not actively engaged in some form of mental health services for what you're going through perhaps it might be worth considering? Having the opportunity to talk through these sorts of concerns with someone in real life can be a great comfort.

One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the Men-Focused Support forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/men-focused-support/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.