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Old 03-06-2019, 11:24 AM   #11
Calypso2632
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

Society and people and religion has made sex "taboo" dirty sinful and unclean. Along with lots of filthy names getting called. Too many partners? Labeled. Too few partners? Labeled. Kink or fetish? Labeled. I dunno about other people but I wasn't raised to know what was going on. I had to figure everything out on my own. My sister is 8 years older than me so not close, no valuable connection when growing up. When I got my period I was a bit shocked but knew how to handle it and told my mom to go buy me tampons. She came back with these giant pads. I was like no. Wrong. I lost my virginity at a very young age but practice caution, used birth control and got myself on the shot as soon as I could. No help from mom or family. Years in small town church ingrained that premarital sex was gonna send me to hell. Mom was going to hell. Everyone literally was going to hell. I left when I got old enough to form my own opinions. Sex and relationships and views are different for everyone to figure out and unlearning what you're taught is hard...
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Old 03-06-2019, 11:47 AM   #12
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

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Society and people and religion has made sex "taboo" dirty sinful and unclean. Along with lots of filthy names getting called. Too many partners? Labeled. Too few partners? Labeled. Kink or fetish? Labeled. I dunno about other people but I wasn't raised to know what was going on. I had to figure everything out on my own. My sister is 8 years older than me so not close, no valuable connection when growing up. When I got my period I was a bit shocked but knew how to handle it and told my mom to go buy me tampons. She came back with these giant pads. I was like no. Wrong. I lost my virginity at a very young age but practice caution, used birth control and got myself on the shot as soon as I could. No help from mom or family. Years in small town church ingrained that premarital sex was gonna send me to hell. Mom was going to hell. Everyone literally was going to hell. I left when I got old enough to form my own opinions. Sex and relationships and views are different for everyone to figure out and unlearning what you're taught is hard...
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:01 PM   #13
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

Another day down and after listening to what my wife needed in the bedroom for her to release her tension I did what she wanted plus a little more and all without the penetration
So sex talk is way more than using the nice pleasantries to get someone to take their clothes off.
Just listening and knowing what the other person wants/needs can only be done by talking to the opposite sex.
If more people used their language skills instead of guessing what is expected of them life would be much easier.
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Old 03-06-2019, 05:12 PM   #14
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Another day down and after listening to what my wife needed in the bedroom for her to release her tension I did what she wanted plus a little more and all without the penetration
So sex talk is way more than using the nice pleasantries to get someone to take their clothes off.
Just listening and knowing what the other person wants/needs can only be done by talking to the opposite sex.
If more people used their language skills instead of guessing what is expected of them life would be much easier.

Glad you and your wife are able to connect, Daggy. Your points about communication are well made!
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Old 03-07-2019, 12:34 AM   #15
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

Why is sex such a challenge to talk about?
Because the answer is as large and complicated as the many positions you can find to have physical relations.
And then there are two different main sexes. Not to count all the variations.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:00 PM   #16
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Why is sex such a challenge to talk about?
Because the answer is as large and complicated as the many positions you can find to have physical relations.
And then there are two different main sexes. Not to count all the variations.
Actually, it's because the word is so hard to define.
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Old 03-27-2019, 02:25 AM   #17
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

I知 a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I am always uncomfortable with the subject of sex, I have friends who will talk about there sex life open and freely and I always feel like I can稚 ever respond to anything they say because I zone out. I知 triggered by the word and I hate it!! I have been married 21 years and still have never been able to enjoy myself. I知 glad I知 not alone in this. I always feel like I知 a abnormal and I just hide my feelings even though I know my friends would understand.
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Old 03-28-2019, 01:24 PM   #18
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I知 a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and I am always uncomfortable with the subject of sex, I have friends who will talk about there sex life open and freely and I always feel like I can稚 ever respond to anything they say because I zone out. I知 triggered by the word and I hate it!! I have been married 21 years and still have never been able to enjoy myself. I知 glad I知 not alone in this. I always feel like I知 a abnormal and I just hide my feelings even though I know my friends would understand.
Hello Strongforgood. Thank you for sharing your truth with us here. I am so sorry that you experienced abuse. It was not your fault. You deserved a peaceful childhood with safe and unconditional love.

It makes sense that you feel uncomfortable about the topic of sex and the word itself. When you say that you haven't been able to enjoy yourself, are you saying that you are unable to enjoy sex with your husband?

You are NOT abnormal. You're a human who experienced trauma at a young age and that trauma understandably affected your perception of sex.

You say you hide your feelings, does that mean you have not spoken with a therapist about your trauma? I wonder if that would help you? There are folks who are very experienced in sexual abuse recovery. Just an idea for you.

This is a safe space for anyone to discuss their thoughts and feelings about sex. Though I realize the thread itself could be very triggering for you. Feel free to PM me some time if you like. Several friends have shared their stories with me about sexual abuse either in their childhood or adulthood. I cannot know how they feel but I have seen their pain and confusion. It was brave and gracious of you to contribute to our thread here. I am grateful to you and I wish you peace and a bright future. Please be patient and kind to yourself.
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Old 04-08-2019, 06:41 PM   #19
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

How are you meant to talk about sex when you can't talk about all the components that make it up?
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Old 04-08-2019, 06:45 PM   #20
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Default Re: Why are sexual discussions so challenging for humans?

I'm actually pretty comfortable talking about sex in theory, but when I'm actually in the bedroom it can be hard for me to say what I want. Part of the problem is that I haven't taken the time to get to know a partner well beforehand I think. If it's a stranger, how do you talk to them about stuff like that?
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