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Old 08-29-2019, 12:55 PM   #1
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Default Fetishes keep changing

From what I can tell, most people have the same fetish all of the time, usually starting in their teens. And I do have one that started in my early teens and still have now (its a situation not an object), but there's other ones that come and go. Sometimes they are linked to the "obsessions" I have, sometimes they aren't. Sometimes they are linked to the main ongoing fetish, sometimes they aren't.

These are more short lived and then go away and then another one starts , but not always straight afterwards. They can last anywhere between two months to two years (roughly). The current one is my current obsession (an object). I started a new obsession about two weeks ago, and after a few days I started to get aroused at the thought of having one.

This object goes very well with the main ongoing fetish too so it's extra exciting. I fantasise about this a lot (both the object and situation together). I really want to buy the object and probably "act out" this fetish, but I don't know. This one doesn't involve anyone else.

This just doesn't seem normal.
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Old 08-29-2019, 01:41 PM   #2
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I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I'm certainly no authority on fetishes (or anything else either for that matter.) But my understanding is that, since most fetishes are considered to be mostly harmless, there's not much research that has been done with regard to them. And, as a result, I don't know if anyone would be able to say why you are having this experience of more short-lived fetishes that come-&-go. It's not an experience I have had. Perhaps there will be other PC members who will have had some similar experiences who can share their insights.
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Old 08-31-2019, 02:39 AM   #3
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Default Re: Fetishes keep changing

They are all harmless, but usually things I can't buy because they are too expensive or whatever. The fetishes themselves don't really bother me much, it's more the fact that they come and go. It seems weird compared to what I've read about other people.

There's something I've recently been thinking about this. I've usually been nervous about buying these obsession objects. Now I realise the ones I've been nervous about have also been fetishes. And I'm wondering if that's whats causing the nervousness.

Maybe it's not even nervousness, maybe its more arousal and I feel ashamed of that happening in public. I wouldn't do anything inappropriate in public, but it feels wrong to be aroused. I'm female so it's easy enough to hide (nothing visible like I assume might happen to man), but it still feels wrong. I even feel a bit uncomfortable writing about this here.

But maybe this is the real cause of the nervousness. Though I still don't know what causes these obsessions, or makes some of them fetishes. I feel like I'm desperately grasping at straws, trying to find a way to fix it, and maybe what I really need to do is just accept it.

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Old 08-31-2019, 02:56 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by randomer123 View Post
They are all harmless, but usually things I can't buy because they are too expensive or whatever. The fetishes themselves don't really bother me much, it's more the fact that they come and go. It seems weird compared to what I've read about other people.

There's something I've recently been thinking about this. I've usually been nervous about buying these obsession objects. Now I realise the ones I've been nervous about have also been fetishes. And I'm wondering if that's whats causing the nervousness.

Maybe it's not even nervousness, maybe its more arousal and I feel ashamed of that happening in public. I wouldn't do anything inappropriate in public, but it feels wrong to be aroused. I'm female so it's easy enough to hide (nothing visible like I assume might happen to man), but it still feels wrong. I even feel a bit uncomfortable writing about this here.

But maybe this is the real cause of the nervousness. Though I still don't know what causes these obsessions, or makes some of them fetishes. I feel like I'm desperately grasping at straws, trying to find a way to fix it, and maybe what I really need to do is just accept it.

Well... I don't know what your diagnoses are... assuming you have some. (I've never received anything in the way of a diagnosis from any of the mental health professionals I've seen over the years.) But, to me as a lay-person, what you describe sounds kind-of like OCD. So I wonder if, perhaps, this actually has more to do with OCD than it does with actual fetishes. I don't know... it's just a thought.

Of course I don't know what any of these obsession objects are you're talking about. But, without going into detail here on my end either, I'll just say I can relate to much of what you've written here. And I don't really have any answers either. It's something I've dealt with my entire life. I presume it has something to do with material that's stored in non-conscious areas of my brain somehow... or perhaps there's a genetic component. But saying that doesn't really help when it comes to trying to figure out what to do about it.

I suspect the biggest problem may simply be the nervousness & shame you're feeling. Perhaps if you could find a way to overcome that it would help. One small thing that has been helpful to me is just coming to learn there are many other people who share the same problems I've had. There were so many years when I presumed I must be the only person in the history of the world who had the "obsessions" I've had. Just coming to know I was far from alone has brought me at least a measure of comfort.
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Old 08-31-2019, 10:03 PM   #5
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Default Re: Fetishes keep changing

The brain is our biggest sexual organ. And cupid arrows strike us in agony, sometimes at things that are just devastating. In human affiars, nothing is as complex as our sexuality. It seems like theres a market for everything on the internet, for good or bad--often mixture. But if the other party is okay with it, or if it is just in your own place, what's the harm? If it's not going to harm you or others, what's the harm? What your describing might be a mixture of fear or humility, tht's a common affair really.
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Old 09-08-2019, 07:22 AM   #6
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Default Re: Fetishes keep changing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Well... I don't know what your diagnoses are... assuming you have some. (I've never received anything in the way of a diagnosis from any of the mental health professionals I've seen over the years.) But, to me as a lay-person, what you describe sounds kind-of like OCD. So I wonder if, perhaps, this actually has more to do with OCD than it does with actual fetishes. I don't know... it's just a thought.

Of course I don't know what any of these obsession objects are you're talking about. But, without going into detail here on my end either, I'll just say I can relate to much of what you've written here. And I don't really have any answers either. It's something I've dealt with my entire life. I presume it has something to do with material that's stored in non-conscious areas of my brain somehow... or perhaps there's a genetic component. But saying that doesn't really help when it comes to trying to figure out what to do about it.

I suspect the biggest problem may simply be the nervousness & shame you're feeling. Perhaps if you could find a way to overcome that it would help. One small thing that has been helpful to me is just coming to learn there are many other people who share the same problems I've had. There were so many years when I presumed I must be the only person in the history of the world who had the "obsessions" I've had. Just coming to know I was far from alone has brought me at least a measure of comfort.
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The brain is our biggest sexual organ. And cupid arrows strike us in agony, sometimes at things that are just devastating. In human affiars, nothing is as complex as our sexuality. It seems like theres a market for everything on the internet, for good or bad--often mixture. But if the other party is okay with it, or if it is just in your own place, what's the harm? If it's not going to harm you or others, what's the harm? What your describing might be a mixture of fear or humility, tht's a common affair really.
Well I did go to look for the obsession object the other day and there was no nervousness. I didn't get one because they were too expensive, but I had no problems going into shops and looking. So that nervousness is gone now, or at least under control.

What's confusing me most is how the fetishes change so much. Instead of just having one (or more) start in my teens and then always having them. That seems to be how other people are. I suppose it doesn't really matter. Just wondering why I seem to be so different.
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Old 09-08-2019, 05:35 PM   #7
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Well I did go to look for the obsession object the other day and there was no nervousness. I didn't get one because they were too expensive, but I had no problems going into shops and looking. So that nervousness is gone now, or at least under control.

What's confusing me most is how the fetishes change so much. Instead of just having one (or more) start in my teens and then always having them. That seems to be how other people are. I suppose it doesn't really matter. Just wondering why I seem to be so different.
Yes... I can see how this would be confusing for you. And I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is that I've had my own mixture of problems. Each one of them individually, it turns out, isn't at all unique. But how they got all twisted up together is the thing that confuses me. I guess each one of us who has these sorts of issues gets them in our own unique way. And perhaps there really is no explanation for it. It's just the way it is. Anyway... I'm glad you were able to go & at least look at your obsession object without nervousness. That's a step in the right direction.
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Old 09-12-2019, 09:01 AM   #8
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Default Re: Fetishes keep changing

Thanks. I've had to give up on that object but I still think about it (and fantasise about it).
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Old 09-21-2019, 09:14 AM   #9
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Default Re: Fetishes keep changing

I've thought about this a bit more, and I've realised it's not the fetish that's changing. It's actually the same, that one ongoing one. But the other things are more like themes, as they are themes for the obsessions. Not all obsessions become fetishes (or fetish themes) though. There's a few that haven't been. The current one definitely is. And when I'm fantasising, I'm using that object along with the fetish thing.

So I don't have changing fetishes, it's the same one but I get new "themes" from the obsessions. It's still weird but at least I understand that now.
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Old 09-21-2019, 01:34 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by randomer123 View Post
I've thought about this a bit more, and I've realised it's not the fetish that's changing. It's actually the same, that one ongoing one. But the other things are more like themes, as they are themes for the obsessions. Not all obsessions become fetishes (or fetish themes) though. There's a few that haven't been. The current one definitely is. And when I'm fantasising, I'm using that object along with the fetish thing.

So I don't have changing fetishes, it's the same one but I get new "themes" from the obsessions. It's still weird but at least I understand that now.
Thanks for sharing this. I won't pretend to understand what it's about. But I'm glad you have been able to think through it & that additional insight into it has resulted from the process. That's a good thing...
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