advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anxietysuxs
New Member
Anxietysuxs has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 4
3 yr Member
Trig Nov 11, 2019 at 04:34 PM
  #1
Long story going to try and shorten it up the best I can. Trigger warnings of sexual assault and rape.

As a young teen I was honestly scared of sexual interactions. Like kissing and all that was fine but anything more I felt dirty. The first few guys I did anything sexual with (not full on sex) felt forced to me but I never said no.

My first time having sex was consensual and fine.
Possible trigger:


I had 2 or 3 relationships during the times of sexual assault where I felt safe and okay with the partner to do sexual things
After the rape though now in relationships I feel tense and overwhelmed with physical intimacy.

At first I figured maybe I just wasn't into the partner or what and tried to dismiss it but it kept happening. Even when I felt okay to have sexual interactions I would feel really bad guilt after.

Now I'm in a relationship with this caring understanding girl. She knows about the history of sexual abuse. But this feeling of being overwhelmed when we cuddle or kiss is persisting. I have low sexual drive or real need for much intimacy. I can usually handle cuddling but the kissing makes me so anxious I get sick to my stomach. She and I have talked and she assures that sex doesn't have to happen and I understand that but I just don't know what to tell her or how to explain it. I don't know if I'm asexual or what. I have an attraction to her physically and emotionally.
She is a type who needs attention and reassurance in our relationship and I feel like I'm failing her.

Advice? Thoughts? Anyone else feel like this?

Last edited by atisketatasket; Nov 11, 2019 at 06:56 PM.. Reason: Added triggers
Anxietysuxs is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Nov 12, 2019 at 04:07 PM
  #2
I'm sorry I can't offer a lot with regard to this. But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that discuss what is involved in healing from sexual assault:

Healing from Sexual Assault

Building Empowerment After Sexual Assault

You mentioned the possibility that you might be asexual. So here's a link to a resource that may be of interest to you:

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Best wishes...

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:34 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.